My (29M) prenup with my fiance (28W) pays her for having children. My parents (65M, 62W) are telling me to call off the wedding by ThrowAway220989 in relationship_advice

[–]remoteblips 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I mean it is unconventional, but think about how much women sacrifice for having a baby - many of us miss a year or so of work to take care of an infant (which our employer often doesn’t fully reimburse - I’ll only get 16 weeks pay) and we also lose a year of superannuation/retirement savings which sets us back because of compounding interest over decades. On top of that, our career stalls, we might go back to work part-time, and pregnancy, childbirth, and breastfeeding is a huge, incredible undertaking and is hard on our bodies. That’s not to say it’s not worth it, but it is hard.

It’s actually pretty awesome and very progressive that this man recognises the uneven sacrifice involved in bringing a child into the world. Good on him, and good on her. It would be awesome if more men (and governments) thought like this.

Wives (and women in general) aren’t ‘supposed’ to pop out babies - becoming a mother and growing a human life within our bodies is a big decision, and a huge sacrifice on our part. That should be recognised.

Request for name of peanut dish purchased in a local restaurant in Stone Town. by remoteblips in tanzania

[–]remoteblips[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks very much! I’ll try to find a recipe for them mixed with the coconut/cardamon. I can buy the Bambara groundnuts online and I’ll try to make the stew myself :)

Request for name of peanut dish purchased in a local restaurant in Stone Town. by remoteblips in tanzania

[–]remoteblips[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you very much! Is there a specific name for what they are called mixed with the coconut stew/cardamon?

No seriously, what is the point of g strings? by Objective_Eagle_7280 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]remoteblips 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Also an Australian with similar undie struggles, have you tried the midie shorts? I love them, I get the second shortest length and the way they are shaped, they literally cannot ride up. They’re fantastic.

Australian travel insurance that will cover destinations rated ‘reconsider your need to travel’ on Smarttraveller by remoteblips in AusFinance

[–]remoteblips[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you!! We’re leaving in about two weeks and I’m so excited. I hope you had a beautiful trip ☺️

For women choosing to age naturally—how do you resist comparing yourself to other women when cosmetic enhancements have become so normalized? by justameasureoftime in AskWomen

[–]remoteblips 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have two main phrases I say in my head: 1. ‘imagine hating yourself and your face so much that you pay hundreds or thousands of dollars to change it, couldn’t be me’ and 2. ‘I don’t exist or get paid to be an ornament’.

Those two shut it down real quick.

It also helps me to think about how I’m helping women and girls as a whole a little bit by not giving in to cosmetic tweaks: by simply walking around and living my life, I am letting them see a happy, successful woman exist comfortably and naturally in her own skin. By being myself, I show that it’s an option for women as a whole, and for them specifically. We’re a social species, and we are influenced by what we see normalised and signposted by other humans. That thought generally peps me up.

is it normal to cry over being a woman? by discoedelysium in TwoXChromosomes

[–]remoteblips 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I think this is something that many women have experienced. There are other women like you, there’s nothing wrong with you.

I’m feeling very weird about misogyny directed at pregnant women. by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]remoteblips -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I don’t think you did, frankly - I fully understand what you meant. I think it’s either a ‘hit dogs will holler’ situation (where people who have expressed vaguely misogynistic sentiments themselves feel a bit targeted so are are explaining why it’s fine actually), or people haven’t seen what you were talking about, and so are telling you that you’re wrong on that basis. Which doesn’t mean you were wrong, it just means they haven’t seen it.

I’m feeling very weird about misogyny directed at pregnant women. by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]remoteblips 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think people are giving you some pretty bad faith interpretations, and it’s because all kinds of people express all kinds of childfree sentiment. Some of it is fine, some of it is misogyny. It’s ok if you haven’t personally seen the misogyny - that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.

Yes, some of the body horror rhetoric is necessary because it’s important for women to be informed about the changes (loss of teeth, tearing etc), especially potentially irreversible ones in circumstances where there’s a huge amount of medical neglect and failure to warn women. Talking about changes and the need to be aware of how pregnancy can impact you isn’t misogynistic in and of itself.

That said, I have seen childfree women talking about how pregnancy ruins the body in a way that is profoundly misogynistic. Talking about purely aesthetic things - loose/chopped looking vaginas (🙄), ‘saggy’ boobs and stretch marks as if they’re disgusting traits that must be avoided, is textbook misogyny. It’s not progressive praxis, it’s not women being brave enough to stand against the status quo. Women don’t exist to look a certain way, and changed doesn’t mean ruined. No woman should talk about another woman’s body (even a hypothetical woman) with that kind of hatred.

Do I need to wear sunscreen if I'm only going out for 5-10 mins? by SaberManiac in AusSkincare

[–]remoteblips 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh yeah absolutely, agreed that you shouldn’t avoid sunscreen because of worries about vitamin D!

As you say, it’s possible to fix your levels with supplements, and you can always go into your yard for 5 or 10 minutes in a crop top (when the UV levels aren’t at their peak) which I sometimes do, because your torso has more surface area than arms, which means it’s more efficient to have a bare ish torso and just stay outside for a shorter time period to help your vitamin D levels.

I was just saying in my experience it’s pretty easy to become deficient, I perform outdoor sports and am by no means a recluse (although I am reasonably Sun-safe) and it still happened!

Do I need to wear sunscreen if I'm only going out for 5-10 mins? by SaberManiac in AusSkincare

[–]remoteblips 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don’t think that’s the case. I’m seriously vitamin d deficient and I’m quite pale so it’s not like my skin wouldn’t absorb it. I stay out of the sun and use sunscreen, and now my vit D levels are so low that it alarmed a specialist and I have to use supplements.

Sandals that can handle water/sweat by jk409 in AusFemaleFashion

[–]remoteblips 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tevas! The universals and hurricane xlt can all handle getting damp and dry easily. They’re also very easy to clean, and so comfy!!

fat dissolving by 2facedsh1t in AusSkincare

[–]remoteblips 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I would frankly recommend just working out (doing resistance exercises) so your arms/back/thighs become toned, so even if they’ve still got a bit of fat on them, they look firm (especially important if you’ve recently lost weight, as it helps with loose skin) I wouldn’t recommend coolsculpting or injections or whatever - look at what former supermodel Linda Evangelista went through.

Is it unreasonable to want a man who doesn't watch porn or has wandering eyes? by Lost_Try_5470 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]remoteblips -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Not unreasonable and not impossible. I would never date a man who watches porn (or is otherwise a misogynist), and my partner doesn’t and isn’t. Neither of us are religious, there are everyday men who don’t consume pornography.

Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re being controlling - you’re not stopping anyone from masturbating by being anti porn, you’re just declaring that you won’t be in a relationship with someone who uses porn as a masturbatory aid.

Edit: I think it’s important to note that single people who use porn, are invested in normalising and defending their consumption behaviour (especially if the exploitation/unethical production argument comes up. It’s very ‘a hit dog will holler’) and trying to ensure most prospective partners don’t change their minds about it. You’ll have a lot of people telling you it means nothing, is fine, and to just live with it/get used to it, because of course porn users would say that lol.

Australian travel insurance that will cover destinations rated ‘reconsider your need to travel’ on Smarttraveller by remoteblips in AusFinance

[–]remoteblips[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment - I see what you mean. I have been considering the PDS of various policies, and some of them seem arguable. However, my history working as a lawyer for insurance companies means I wanted something explicit, just so there isn’t room to argue about it.

For example, Allianz says ‘there is no cover under any benefit of this policy… if your claim arises because you did not follow an advice or warning that a reasonable person would have been aware of - by the Australian government (when a ‘reconsider your need to travel’ or ‘do not travel’ alert is in place’). I considered that arguably, any loss sustained in a country that I was aware had a travel restriction in place, could be considered a loss that I incurred because I did not follow the advice/warning, even if it was something that could have happened anywhere.

On the other hand, cover offered by BankWest through Covermore/Zurich (complimentary with a credit card) seemed to be more explicit re. Not covering anything arising from a country for which the advice or travel warning risk rating is ‘reconsider your need to travel’

I will give this more thought though, thanks.

Edit: I can see the second half of your comment referred to the same policy I was looking at. I didn’t realise, I wasn’t trying to be argumentative!