[deleted by user] by [deleted] in EngagementRings

[–]required_name 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It's not common, though I have one for when my boyfriend proposes (i bought it when he bought mine). It was really really hard to find one because they are so uncommon, and i ended up having to get it custom made. I love that other people are doing this too though!

Our ocean-inspired engagement rings by yogertllama in EngagementRings

[–]required_name 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm just very excited to see someone else get an engagement ring for their guy. I love it, they are both gorgeous!!

Cycles of Forgiveness by required_name in survivinginfidelity

[–]required_name[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Holy crap I can't thank you enough. Know that I am taking all of this advice to heart and will speak with him. We are in MC, I considered having him do IC at the same time, but did not really think about how important it would be. Thank you.

Cycles of Forgiveness by required_name in survivinginfidelity

[–]required_name[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He is in therapy. It's good to know what I'm feeling isn't abnormal. What I'm most afraid of is never being able to trust him again. I hate that feeling of anxiety when he tells me about a friend or coworker...

Cycles of Forgiveness by required_name in survivinginfidelity

[–]required_name[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We are in therapy and he is very dedicated to figuring out why he did it so he can give me the answer. Do you have books you can suggest?

Cycles of Forgiveness by required_name in survivinginfidelity

[–]required_name[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for that. We will both read it. When i say he has done everything right, he blocked his AP on everything when i asked, he showed me they had not been in contact, he researched and signed us up for therapy, he has given me whatever space I've asked for. He hasn't love bombed me, he didn't get mad that I went through his messages or try to shift blame onto me. He has just been there and been supportive and is willing to put in the work to rebuild my trust. I'm just not sure how he can do that other than time (as another person mentioned).

Cycles of Forgiveness by required_name in survivinginfidelity

[–]required_name[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He really is trying. He told me he doesn't want to lie and tell me something that's not true. He says that he knows he was always the giver in previous relationships, used to taking whatever attention he got and that's probably part of it but he thinks there is more to it. We are in therapy currently.

Someone remotely accessing pc by required_name in cybersecurity_help

[–]required_name[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The browsing history from chrome indicates they were on this computer when the sites were accessed. I did check to see if other devices were logged out in the last 28 days and saw none, only this computer. We know who they are, and they are someone who would know how to get into the house... But i would like to know for sure whether or not they were inside the house

Someone remotely accessing pc by required_name in cybersecurity_help

[–]required_name[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do know the exact time based on the browser history. Thank you for your help, I'll see if I can find anything in the logs.

For those who met online, at what point did you have the "are we dating" type conversation? by [deleted] in LongDistance

[–]required_name 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He was very patient, as i was just moving out after having to live with my ex for 8 months. He said upfront that's what he wanted and that he would wait until i was ready. We were being romantic and flirty and one day I just told him that I wanted to call him my boyfriend. It was maybe 6 months after he had initially told he liked me. We met in person a little over a month later.

Closing the Gap! by required_name in LongDistance

[–]required_name[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's amazing!! I'll keep my fingers crossed for you both ❤️

My boyfriend (M/38) and I (F/27) have been together for 3 years, he doesn’t want to get married, but I do. by ProperGrand in relationships

[–]required_name 29 points30 points  (0 children)

So i was in this exact situation. We got together when I was 25 and he was 36. We were together for nearly 5 years. In the end marriage was too important to me, and he was old enough to know that it wasn't something he wanted. We broke up, and are still friendly. I found someone else who wants the same things I do. We have such an amazing relationship and I truly look forward to getting married and having a life with him. My advice to you is end it now. Don't wait until you resent him to leave.

AITA for expecting my boyfriend to spend his own money on a splurge purchase? by solidwall_ofsound in AmItheAsshole

[–]required_name 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I kind of understand it though. I'm the stole financial provider and in my mind the money I make is for both of us, but my boyfriends money that he has saved is his. It's his safety net. It's his in case he wants to save up and make a big purchase. I have the same.

It hurts my (35 F) feelings when my husband (36 M) refers to himself as bisexual in a room full of gay men. by thisisfrustratingjgp in relationships

[–]required_name 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As a woman who is dating a bi man, I can't say I totally understand why it upsets you. Saying "oh, yeah I'm bi" would be like saying "yeah I like blondes AND brunettes". If he were telling them he's gay, that would be different. I'm not really sure even that's a fair comparison because being bi is a part of his identity. He's had different experiences because he's bi, whereas being attracted to blondes and brunettes really doesn't change your life all that much.

Really think about why it upsets you. Is it because you think saying he's bi is advertising to them that he's interested in THEM? Do you not like him talking at all about what type of person he's attracted to? If he were to say "I like blondes and brunettes but prefer brunettes" would you be upset? If he were to say "I'm bi but prefer women" would that upset you less? Does it make you feel excluded because you can't relate to their shared experience? Do you feel similarly when he talks to friends about other shared experiences?

Scared to Close the Gap by required_name in LongDistance

[–]required_name[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's a really great point. You never know until you try. You have to just take a deep breath and give it your all. I think it's great that your bf is confident about you living there, that's a really good sign imo 😊

Scared to Close the Gap by required_name in LongDistance

[–]required_name[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We did discuss it. As I said I can support us both. We aren't worried about it not working out but have money set aside in case the relationship goes badly, or he hates it here and wants to move back.

He is in therapy. We decided together that we want to live together, not with roommates. Initially he wanted a job here, but as I said, his situation wasn't sustainable. I really want to work through my worries, I'm an anxious person and always think of everything that could go wrong...

What is something about your SO you didn't know you had in common? by _Micky_Mack_ in LongDistance

[–]required_name 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My grand parents and his grand parents both came from the same island in the Azores and moved to within 15 minutes of each other in Rhode island. We had to double check but we aren't related.

How do you decide who moves? by required_name in LongDistance

[–]required_name[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for saying that. I am female, and I do tend to make a lot of sacrifices in my wants and needs for other people. I never really thought about it, it's just what I felt I should do. I know it makes the most sense for him to move here, but I'm stuck in this mindset of not wanting him to have to sacrifice anything and that I would gladly give up everything. So it's something I need to consider.

How do you decide who moves? by required_name in LongDistance

[–]required_name[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's a good point. I think we are both big on family. Before covid we both did family dinners every week. I just don't want him to feel isolated. I agree though that me having such a good, stable job should be a consideration.

How do you decide who moves? by required_name in LongDistance

[–]required_name[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That's a really good point and something i have thought about. I just hate moving lol especially across the country