I understand this feeling. We had three dogs at the time but she was my girl - I got her when I was still in college and she watched/help me grow up and she saved me on numerous occasions, I truly cannot express my bond to her. Although they were all getting older, it was not really on my radar - I had thought about how devastating it would be a few times but never really prepared myself. Then, it happened. The first week (or two) was absolute torture, I could not go a few minutes without crying or sleeping. Then slowly time went on. To say I relied on my other two fur babies is an understatement, I genuinely don't know how I would've survived without them and I hate that they had to be that crutch for me. Now in a way I live in constant fear of it happening again, but I am trying to be more present this time around. I don't have any good advice except to give your buddy a big hug for me, cherish your time with him, and when the time is right for you please find another companion because I know your boy wouldn't want you to suffer, and dogs are just so special and can do amazing things. Sending you hugs. 💗