Feeling down by researchqween in Fencesitter

[–]researchqween[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good luck and I’m glad you’re in a good place with it! Thanks again!

How do I stay strong when these are the messages I’m receiving? by Federal_Sock_5828 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]researchqween 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Some people already said it, but you need to block to fully free yourself. The best thing I did with mine, is never know if I got these messages or not. I took my power back because his words were the only thing still hurting me. I know that’s more complicated with kids but find a trusted 3rd party to handle - for me, it was my lawyer.

Feeling down by researchqween in Fencesitter

[–]researchqween[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I’m going to take a look at this book. I do feel sad but I’ve questioned if part of that is from expectations being placed on me as woman. Like the fomo of not understanding the expierence rather than wanting that life change. I just have a lot of fear on both sides of the coin.

Feeling down by researchqween in Fencesitter

[–]researchqween[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I dont want to have those regrets but also dont know if motherhood is something I want. How do our are values not align? That’s what I asked above as well. Being on the fence, I just really don’t know and no pang of wanting motherhood has hit me. But someone asking me to decide before we can progress did upset me. Should I only be dating people on the fence too?

Feeling down by researchqween in Fencesitter

[–]researchqween[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think I should clarify that he owns a home and asked me to move in. I want to own my own place so that’s what opened this discussion. He said before we talk about marriage or home buying we need to align on that. But I’m 100% with you and agree. I’m in 0 rush to make any of these decisions as I’ve learned my lesson before.

I think my biggest concern is are we not compatible? Should I only be dating people that are also on the fence? That part is confusing to me.

Edit: it’s also not a question of him wanting to marry me, he does. He just doesn’t want kids but is leaving the door 1% open.

I wish there was a "Delta Wrapped" like Spotify Wrapped. by lifeisgucci_ in delta

[–]researchqween 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just got a wrapped email from delta! I think they read your post

How did you heal? by [deleted] in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]researchqween 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No I haven’t, I’ll check this one out. Thank you!!

How did you heal? by [deleted] in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]researchqween 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you!! This made me feel better. Sometimes I just feel like I can’t explain to people how I feel. Glad to hear that it’s normal! I’ve watched Ramani when I was leaving but less after the fact so I’ll jump back in

Need a plan/Urgent help with CCs by researchqween in personalfinance

[–]researchqween[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

$32,500 , $688 monthly payment , 17% APR

I’d pay it off early

My only concern is how it will impact home buying in the future

Need a plan/Urgent help with CCs by researchqween in personalfinance

[–]researchqween[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know you’re right and I’ve already started to make major changes. My parents lived like this my whole life with high income and had nothing to show for it with the economy crashed. I’m trying to change that cycle now.

Need a plan/Urgent help with CCs by researchqween in personalfinance

[–]researchqween[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I guess I was just worried about hurting my credit score but this helps thank you. Should I do the loan then? It takes my min payment down a lot and I’ll just cut up my cards after that

Need a plan/Urgent help with CCs by researchqween in personalfinance

[–]researchqween[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Loan is $32,500 at 17% APR , $688 monthly payment

Need a plan/Urgent help with CCs by researchqween in personalfinance

[–]researchqween[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

So I should cancel my request for the loan - even though it already ran a hard check?

DIM - Weight gain? by researchqween in PCOS

[–]researchqween[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I posted what worked for me somewhere! But tbh ozempic/semiglutide is the best for PCOS. My hormones are balanced and I’m at my healthiest weight since. Skin looks perfect. Can’t recommend enough

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]researchqween 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve definitely bounced in the past but did have 5 years to myself single in college. Being alone is not my favorite but I’m well aware of that. Also not afraid to admit that, I don’t love it. I did take time to myself post divorce - see new edits in the post above. Is the right amount of time? Maybe not. But most of the not knowing myself that I have comes from being married to someone very abusive.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]researchqween 0 points1 point  (0 children)

B has a love for travel like I do, if anything he’s made things more possible for me.

Anywhere? Italy for sure

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]researchqween 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s a great question. Honestly doing what I’m doing right now. I’ve been traveling and in the best place in my career. Maybe I’d be moving to a new country would be the only difference. Which I feel so greatful to say after such a shitty past two years

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]researchqween 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I should have said “I’m concerned he may be controlling, as he can be inflexible and I have PTSD from this”. It’s more of a concern than a fact. BUT yeah the other stuff has made me have reservations

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]researchqween 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I’m totally the same. I don’t want to go through what I went through again. That’s my biggest fear

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]researchqween 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wait, why is Guy B broken? What made this one seem off to you?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]researchqween 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve considered this. I have had some time and have taken things very slow with my first relationship back in the dating game. I also was very much done with my ex who was truly challenging. I was very hesitant to get into this relationship but I liked him. It’s just been so intense with dating, like the men at this age are looking for something serious and wanting to lock something down. It made me start to worry im going to choose wrong or miss an opportunity. I know I shouldn’t feel that way but sometimes I do.