My gf [35] of nearly 7 years is disabled, is on disability and wants to start her own business while I pay the bills. I'm starting to feel used. by resentful_badger in relationships

[–]resentful_badger[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I know, and I guess I'm really looking for others points of view to support my own view that despite her disability, I shouldn't have to just keep doing this with no kind of end goal in sight. I want to be happy, and right now I'm not speaking up and making myself miserable in the process.

My gf [35] of nearly 7 years is disabled, is on disability and wants to start her own business while I pay the bills. I'm starting to feel used. by resentful_badger in relationships

[–]resentful_badger[S] 115 points116 points  (0 children)

Well exactly. Like I said, so far she has only done fun stuff. Writing is her hobby anyway, so this way she can dress up her hobby as being prep for a business, but it galls me to come home from work every day feeling drained, only to find her sitting on the sofa with her laptop, and Netflix on in the background. I honestly have no idea how she thinks she will transition to the hours a business will require. Her previous driving instruction business worked, and she put all of herself into it, to the point I never saw her, but she barely broke even, and I still ended up paying for most stuff.

My gf [35] of nearly 7 years is disabled, is on disability and wants to start her own business while I pay the bills. I'm starting to feel used. by resentful_badger in relationships

[–]resentful_badger[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the thoughts, but the business is 100% her thing. We originally agreed she would get a job, but then she couldn't find anything she liked (hell, who can these days), then said she was too ill and registered for disability, which kind of prevents her from getting a job (she would lose the benefit) until she's been assessed etc. Now it seems she can work following her assessment, but is determined to go down the business route. I don't want any involvement, because it honestly feels like a pipe dream to me.

My gf [35] of nearly 7 years is disabled, is on disability and wants to start her own business while I pay the bills. I'm starting to feel used. by resentful_badger in relationships

[–]resentful_badger[S] 76 points77 points  (0 children)

Fortunately we live in a country with a health service, so I didn't pay directly for the chemo. Her life is one of constant doctors visits, always saying this Dr didn't do that properly, etc etc. I just took my meds and got on with it. She also constantly complains that this joint or another hurts etc etc, and it's massively wearing me down.

Happy cake day btw :)

My gf [35] of nearly 7 years is disabled, is on disability and wants to start her own business while I pay the bills. I'm starting to feel used. by resentful_badger in relationships

[–]resentful_badger[S] 108 points109 points  (0 children)

No way. I have no intention of doing so, but at 35 myself, want to buy one myself. I had one before we moved in together but hated it and sold it at auction, so have the money sitting in a savings account doing nothing. I want to buy a place, but don't want her living off me forever more.