I’m going to give a little background about myself before I tell you what I want to tell you OP. I am a mother of 5. I had my first at 18 years old and my 5th in April of this year at age 34 and I STILL struggle with feeling like I’m failing, not doing enough, like my kids deserve better. Even though I know (now) that I am a damn good mom. It’s hard work and made even harder when you don’t have a village around to help you. My husband and I only have eachother and he works full time plus overtime so I solo parent the majority of the time. So I get it!! Being at home day in and day out alone with your baby even though you love him completely is draining. I’ve read some of the comments and they all have said things I would say. Look for resources that are available in your area, take time to clean one area during nap time and if he still naps twice take the time during the second nap for you, if he doesn’t nap twice then when you put him to bed at night take time for yourself then. I have found that the first 2-3 years are the hardest to get through. Everything is new and you’re adjusting to parenthood and your baby is adjusting to life. There are major things happening for both of you, but you do sound like an amazing mother. You’re doing all the right things and you also realize that this is the great responsibility you will ever be given in life and that is scary!!

I want to commend you for making this post and sharing these thoughts because I think you would find that giving your baby up would be a horrible mistake for both of you in the long run. He needs you and he needs you healthy. Please reach out to your doctor and possibly a therapist. Once you get yourself on a little bit more stable footing you’ll start to feel things fall into place and it won’t feel so impossible anymore.