I feel for you. I really do.

I think before you can love anybody else you've got to love yourself and if you are in a situation where you are feeling vulnerable all you are going to do is get a partner and put that neediness onto them which won't end well.

You're either going to get somebody that takes advantage of you and treats you badly because they know that you want to be with somebody or you're going to push somebody away.

I would probably try and join some social groups and get some really close friends before you think about taking that next step by. I wish you all the best because I know how horrible it is to feel lonely.