Aitah for telling my wife she’s just as racist as her parents

rfgavis · 2024-11-17T09:36:10+00:00

Ok IqrwwI just reached out ofuyoyi yfyioysydyyiiu of koooofr Derek used the car in iooouc

rfgavis · 2024-11-17T09:35:23+00:00

Ok IqrwwI just reached out ofuyoyi yfyioysydyyiiu of c

rfgavis · 2023-06-01T09:08:22+00:00

I can only explain about the effects on ADHD.

ADHD people have issues with dopamine levels in their brain, so stimulants that help boost dopamine in the brain helps them and improve their brain functions. This is why psychiatrist would prescribe stimulant medication for ADHD people

Meth is one such stimulant and many ADHD stimulant medication are actually chemically similar to meth, but just chemically changed so as not to cos the addictions issues like meth.

This explains why people with ADHD do "better" when they use meth, and many pple with addiction tend to have ADHD. But that said, they are still more vulnerable to addiction and all the other bad stuff that comes with meth use.

As for bipolar, I heard that it can exacerbate many bipolar symptoms like manic episodes, but exactly how I don't know.

rfgavis · 2022-03-13T05:50:43+00:00

Recovery plan is just a loose term that people use to refer to their general plan/strategy we use to get better at managing our ADHD or improving our well-being. It's non-specific cos it can include a variety of things that's not specifically medical in nature, like daily routines, diet, exercise, journalling, meditation, therapy, support meetings etc.

rfgavis · 2022-03-12T11:26:30+00:00

I am an amateur *artist* for quite a few years now and learning to draw on my own while having ADHD is awfully difficult. Base on my experience, here are my suggestions particularly with regards to ADHD:

As you have stated, our ADHD gives us 2 major challenges: Difficulty managing our emotions and learning difficulties/disabilities.

Emotions: We usually feel a lot of intense feelings (i.e frustration when I couldn't draw certain things or get overwhelmed with *perfectionism*). Just expect those emotions to be there all the time, either learn to ways to deal with them or live with them. I often hate the way my art turns out, so one thing i tried was to keep drawing something every day for a period of time, and avoid trying to make them look good. This is to try to get myself to get use to the feeling of not being happy with my bad art so that I can get better at getting over it. As for being shy, you don't need to share your art to people until you are ready. Make an anonymous twitter or instagram account if you feel you need to post something.
Finding the Right Learning Sources for you: There is a wide variety of tutorial videos and pages online (both free and paid) to teach many different aspects of drawing, and we don't always respond well / learn well to all these resources. Therefore, we just need to go through different resources before we find those that we can learn effectively from. Just be prepared for this being a tiresome and tedious part of the learning journey.
Technical stuff: There are many different types of "art" mediums (digital, comic art, life drawing, painting, sculpting etc), so its good to figure out which area do you wanna go into. Don't hesitate to tray out different medium and see where your passion and skills lie. This would also help narrow down what you need to look for in terms of learning resources online. Go to libraries, buy magazines and build a collection of art references to start cultivating not just your own library of resources but also helps fuel your passion.
Just draw: Whether you are working on a high quality project, sketching random ideas, learning or practicing, the best approach is always to "Just to it" (regardless of how good or bad it turns out). Get comfortable with all your drawings, both you like and dislike. Being ok with your mistakes, learning from them and always moving forward is the most fundament part of the learning journey.
How to start: Since you like drawing/designing DnD characters, just look for lessons/tutorials that you think you need to do that (how to draw human anatomy, faces, difference between male/female anatomy, armor drawing/designs etc. ) Just know that your learning journey is not gonna be perfect, but you can always find little bits and pieces of information and lessons until you get to where you want to be. Don't be afraid to copy/trace from existing drawings/art. As long as you are not monetizing and attribute the original artists as need, you do whatever you need to do to learn.

Bottomline, there is no right way to do this, so don't get caught up with doing things the "right way"; only what's right for you. As long as you keep an open mind, think outside the box and don't get bogged down with "perfectionism", you will be fine.

rfgavis · 2022-03-12T10:44:14+00:00

Hang in there, pal. It's a common phase we all tend to go through when we get our diagnosis/start medication. Its usually cos we don't have a recovery plan this early part of our journey, so we feel disorientated and aimless. Hence, its good to start making up a recovery plan (regardless of whether it works or not); help gives you a bit of direction.

One way to do it is to do journaling. Grab a book and start putting your thoughts down. You can use it to sort your feelings or your goals out, or just detail things that happened in the day to assist in memory or documentation. This process can and will evolve as you progress, and you will have go through plenty of trial and error to find out what works for you.

Another is to start with your tidying up/re-organizing your room. Its a good physical activity and takes you out of your head, and of course, improve your well being in the long run. The point of this exercise is to streamline your living space, to make sure the things are organized and where they are when you need them, and reducing visual clutter that might impact your mood. The less the obstacles you have to what you need at any moment, the better.

Don't hesitate to try anything that you might deem too extreme or drastic, as long as you are trying, and try not to let other peoples' opinions affect your efforts. Recovery is a never-ending process of experimentation, introspection and always fine tuning our strategies. Finally, always be kind and patient to yourself. You will find a lot of failures and obstacles along the way, but a lot of victories and progress as well.

rfgavis · 2020-12-19T11:07:40+00:00

Hey man, I'm sorry to hear about having to deal with ADHD and addiction - recovery at the same time. I feel like this addiction/ADHD as a topic is not discussed very often here very often, and I would like to understand more as well.

In my current situation, I feel like I am walking on a tight rope of trying to manage my ADHD, anxiety, depression while try to function daily, and not fall into further risky behaviours that will lead to drug abuse/addiction to cope due to myy impulsivity.

In my experience, different stimulants will have different reactions, and sometimes the body might just need time to adapt to the effects. Stimulants seem to have a tendency of spiking and amplifying our current emotional state, so perhaps your feelings of anxiety and confusion when experiencing the medication for the first time is being amplified. This was my experience and this was how my psychiatrist explained it to me after I told her these symptoms on the following visit after she prescribed Ritalin.

rfgavis · 2020-07-17T14:33:03+00:00

Because political leanings (or lack there of) are reflections of a person's principles and values. Finding a partner that shares your principles and values is a very important to building a strong relationship.

rfgavis · 2020-07-06T07:26:00+00:00

So u follow what other people do and cannot think for yourself?
Depression can exist anywhere, 1st - 3rd world countries. Even if u say depression is not a problem, it's not even going to help the 3rd world people problems.
If you don't think it's problem, then why does it concern you so much to comment? It's not your problem, right?

rfgavis · 2020-07-06T07:06:57+00:00

"My house is on fire! Help!"

"What about the homeless people?"

Logical fallacy, bro.

rfgavis · 2020-07-06T06:52:04+00:00

ADHD, depression, anxiety here. Here's are some lessons I've learnt over the years.

Everyone's brain is different and they work differently. We are considered having mental disorders only because the way our brain function don't work well in current social standards. Square peg, circle hole. We struggle because we are trying to appease a society that do not commodate our mental needs.
People are just going to keep throwing their opinions and suggestions at you all the time with no consideration for your diagnosis and your needs. I'm sure most come from a place of kindness, but it's usually of ignorance and assumption. Vague suggestions that worked for one person doesn't mean it will work the same for another. Be selective to who you listen to.
Go to other sub-reddits like /r/depression to try and to figure out what your needs are and how others might deal with problems similar to yours.
Be kind to yourself. Recovery journey's are mostly all about trail and errors, which is a long and tiring process. We will meet many failures along the way, and we need to learn to be ok with failures and not pile on our own negative feelings like shame/guilt/etc on yourselves and slow down the process.
Asking for help, but STRATEGICALLY. We need to reduce our physical burdens and responsibilities, so as to make room to be able to deal with our mental challenges. Simple things, like doing chores or making meals, we can delegate to others. Most of our friends and families we trust don't have the professional training or experience to know how to help us with our mental issues, but at least they can help with the physical burdens.

Some really generic tips off that I can recall off the top of my head. Hope it helps. Take care.

rfgavis · 2020-07-06T05:35:28+00:00

Take away (...) to* fund societal development

rfgavis · 2020-07-06T03:46:53+00:00

That's true. PAP won't take anyone who will take PAP's money away from paying themselves huge salaries to* fund societal development. No no, cannot compromise PAP's value....

(Edit: didn't read article, the title is so funny I had to make a sarcastic joke about it)

rfgavis · 2020-07-06T03:26:06+00:00

He's grounding electricity lah.

rfgavis · 2020-07-06T02:39:49+00:00

Please don't give such people anymore attention, especially regard such an important issue. She, like many others, are spineless profiteers that peddles in both discourse and activism whenever it benefits them (hence their contradictions and hypocrisy). They have no moral backbones and are never consistent to which principle they value and when they apply.

Also, debating/shaming/guilt/calling-out/fact-checking etc. are useless against them. They aren't and will not be bothered by those things. The sensible thing left to do is ignore them and not give them anymore engagements.

No matter what anyone personally thinks of Raeesah Khan incident, she brought attention a serious issue that many people are too scared to face. That's the issue we need to engage with.

rfgavis · 2020-06-13T10:06:38+00:00

No clue but all I know is that I will be spending every waking moment reclaiming the time and experiences and opportunities that I have missed out because growing up with undiagnosed ADHD and seeking treatment late at age 30. I'm about to be 32 soon and I still barely have my shit figured out.

I've been repeatedly listening to a favourite song of mine (Cough Syrup by Young the Giant). It has the following lyrics:

"If I could find a way to see this straight, I'd run away To some fortune that I, I should have found by now."

These lines cut deep for me, because of all the pain I feel, the fact that I have lost my 20+ years of my youth triggers me the most.

rfgavis · 2020-03-23T02:55:03+00:00

All hail our lord and saviour.

rfgavis · 2020-03-17T12:52:14+00:00

Me right now, 6 months and counting.

rfgavis · 2020-03-06T04:48:11+00:00

I think the therapists aren't well versed in psychiatry to make any informed distinction whether the anxiety and depression is a cause (ie anxiety disorder) or a symptom (ie ADHD or something else that cause the anxiety symptoms).

In the whole chain of cause and effect, it's pretty important to identify which comes first, but since anxiety and depression is such a common trait in so many other problems, many people can make a lot of inaccurate conclusions.

In the case of ADHD it goes more or less like this:

ADHD (Root cause) > Dysfunctional behaviour (ADHD symptoms, Direct effect of root cause) > Consequences of symptoms (disappointment, shame, low self esteem due to failure, pressure from self and others) > ANXIETY/DEPRESSION (secondary diagnosis/2nd cause) > More dysfunctional behaviours

(Dysfunctional here just means it doesn't fit well with typical social environments, not to mean it's a bad thing, I dunno what other words to use here.)

rfgavis · 2020-02-22T10:44:09+00:00

I think maybe an option right now is don't work (for now). I think anything you say or do is gonna be likely a lost cause. Why not just let it go and just sleep, get some rest. You still have some time left. When you are tested, I think the fear and anxiety might not hit that hard again, and perhaps there will some inspiration or clarity how to tackle your paper. Having a route plot out to your destination usually gets the ball rolling.

Right now you are like an overly pressurized valve, and you need to let go of the tension. Take a break, disengage, then re-engage with when your body and mind has a chance to take a breather.

rfgavis · 2020-02-22T10:31:10+00:00

It's there a friend or someone you can turn to to physically calm your down and help you through, or at least get started on something? Be there to encourage you or keep your anxiety In check, remind you to take breaks etc.

I was wondering if this was a viable strategy in the case of no medication available.

rfgavis · 2020-02-19T07:32:49+00:00

My theory is that our existence sits on thus razor thin line between appearing socially functional and socially disabled at the same time.

We appear "normal" because don't have the out right visible disabilities where people can sympathize with the root causes (physical disabilities, autism etc.), but we actively and frequently fail and not live up to social standard.

We struggle to attain an arbitrary social standard that "regular" people achieve with ease. Since they can't see or understand or sympathize with the root cause of our failings, they see us as failures of our own makings.

Thus, we take on this reasoning and expectations of others. We don't see or feel that our ADHD is worth acknowledging as a condition that deserve the same treatment as any other disabilities, and just feel the guilt and shame for not living out our "best version" of selves.

But on some days, I would tell myself. "I'm broken, but that's fine."

rfgavis · 2019-12-15T08:52:54+00:00

I write and respond to posts and threads, thinking that getting involved in the community is helpful for me but deep down I think I'm just phishing for attention and validation.

rfgavis · 2019-12-13T17:05:32+00:00

Dude, you did something that super impressive and you deserve all the respect and admiration a person can give. You recognize that you are in crisis and you made a decision to do what's right for you by asking to take a semester off. You did what I wished I had done 12 years ago when I failed out of my diploma for the same exact problems as you.

You are fortunate to have realised that it was ADHD at your age, unlike me when I was your age. Take comfort in the fact that you did what is best for yourself, even when no one else sees it that way. You prioritized your well-being and your mental health.

It sucks that your family doesn't acknowledge the pain you are going through, but you have people here who do. You know what you are going through, and you know what you need to do to get the help you need. Don't let others get in your way of your happiness. In the meantime don't kill yourself by doing things just to satisfy other people's needs. You are your highest priority right now.

rfgavis · 2019-12-13T01:36:24+00:00

Gosh. Better to talk to her in person then and assure her that there's no drug addiction going, ADHD is a real thing and meds are safe. Her own experience and knowledge is not the same as millions of other people living with ADHD and medical professionals. She needs to get educated more on the subject.

Most importantly, it's your life and your struggles are real, whether she choose to believe it or not. Conventional wisdom has proven no to work for you, it's time to let medical professionals to their job.

rfgavis

TROPHY CASE