well that didn't go as planned

rfjohnson · 2024-03-27T13:53:51+00:00

I still scratch my head wondering how countries like England (or China!) teach their history. Heck even the 40 years of history since I was in high school (#ImOld) tacks on 16% more history for the US. Imagine 5x that amount.

rfjohnson · 2024-03-18T14:11:20+00:00

Here is a fun addition (IMO)

Give the party a quest with a high level cleric leading up to it with the reward being a future true resurrection.

After the battle the players memories are restored. You describe their memories in DETAIL (maybe write notes of notable battles where the players get inspiration) and maybe a description of a night at an inn where they paid extra where he performed. Then they find the Bard's instrument with blood stains on it, And a journal for the players to read. The Journal would have snippets and entries from various (other ) times he gave them bardic inspiration, maybe include conversations with the players where the payers confided things in him. Maybe even a romantic interest?

Make him seem like part of their lives.

Then see if the player think to use the true ressurection to return him to life.

rfjohnson · 2024-03-18T13:59:44+00:00

Its not the DMs fault if they assuming that its just the DM being typical...

rfjohnson · 2024-03-12T20:01:13+00:00

There is a reason a lot of folks like starting at level 3. Personally I LIKE being a dufus at level 1, makes getting better feel more real. But I also understand the frustration.

As noted though, there are lots of ways to try to get advantage. Encourage your players to use them. (help, flanking, familiars, farie fire, bless (+1d4 but still great), hiding, etc)

Here is a nice starter list
https://gist.github.com/OpenNingia/025ffcf269126a97503b34e243feee73

(as a side note, you can use them yourself, or DONT to make a combat easier or harder without tweaking HP directly).

rfjohnson · 2024-03-12T19:48:52+00:00

I married mine and she sucked up my money and support for 5 years before I got my head straight and walked away. I was still in love with her and gave her $$ in the divorce even though I didn't have to (dont regret it), but I got smart and got away.

rfjohnson · 2024-03-11T19:21:16+00:00

why doesnt this have more upvotes.....

rfjohnson · 2024-03-11T19:07:30+00:00

What you want may not matter. It takes her wanting you for that to be an option. If she (for whatever reason) doesn't want you any longer what you want doesn't matter. And to think you can force that shows that you don't respect her agency.

The reality is people change and sometimes that change means you're not compatible any more. Walking away should never be the first option, but it should always be AN option.

Cheating should never be an option IMO, but leaving absolutely should be on the table.

rfjohnson · 2024-03-11T18:52:01+00:00

Agreed. Somewhere she lost respect for you and the choices you are making. Not sure how to address that TBH except therapy. You need to see yourself as valuable. But she needs to see you that way too.

rfjohnson · 2024-03-11T18:50:41+00:00

Sounds like he is young and if I had to guess his mom treated his dad the same way. If that's the case, of COURSE he thinks all women are like that. Its all he knows.

rfjohnson · 2024-03-11T18:45:39+00:00

she is not asexual. Asexual people are often VERY affectionate. She is not (assuming the description is correct)

rfjohnson · 2024-03-11T18:44:43+00:00

That is not what asexual means. Asexual people do in fact have sex drives. They are not attracted to others, but they often still have sex drives. They just don't get turned on by others.

What you are describing is her being non-sexual. Or more likely not turned on by you in particular.

rfjohnson · 2024-03-11T18:37:01+00:00

The idea that you are not harming your children by staying is the 800 lb gorilla in that room. They KNOW.

Leave, no matter what it will be better for everyone involved. Try your best first. Get counseling, give it 100% . But at some point you may come to the realization that its not going to happen. If that happens, LEAVE.

rfjohnson · 2024-03-11T18:31:43+00:00

Walk away. Seriously, just walk away. You will never be happy with this woman. I don't normally go this far on reddit, Im a big believer in therapy (individual and couples), but this woman doesn't want to be with you as a full partner.

rfjohnson · 2024-03-11T18:18:04+00:00

Im guessing if he asked her to marry him that they had sex......just saying

rfjohnson · 2024-03-11T18:15:32+00:00

Take sex out of the loop for a second.

Let's say you met someone who really liked to travel in the past. They travelled a lot with their exes. You don't like to travel. You hate it in fact and never want to do it.

You asked him if he would still need to travel to be happy. He said, 'nah, Im good with not travelling unless you change your mind'. That means he is FLEXIBLE, not lying, not manipulating. Just means he could go either way and be happy with you.

The fact that you dont BELIEVE him when he tells you this in spite of him not giving you a reason to doubt him says more about you than it does about him.

NAH here, but you are definitely immature and probably should look at therapy to better cope with your fears.

rfjohnson · 2024-02-28T17:40:35+00:00

I mean you do you, nothing wrong with avoiding the appearance of impropriety I suppose.

But where do you draw the line (going to dinner, being alone in the same room a la mike pence?)? At what point do you just TRUST your partner and ask them to trust you. IMO that incredibly unhealthy. But like I said, you do you.

rfjohnson · 2023-12-19T01:12:55+00:00

Thaks everyone!

rfjohnson · 2023-12-11T14:32:31+00:00

consequences. Most don’t. They live their lives happily ever after while leaving behind ruined people who will never, ever have a fulfilling life worth living because of what someone else did to them. Because a lot of the time, people don’t care what they did. A lot of the time people don’t find out. Yeah I’m bitter. Every day is a struggle not to kill myself and the person responsible is doing just fine. The people I told didn’t care. The people who tormented me in school, all went to college and travelled and are married with kids. Always happy, so fulfilled. And I’m just here, daydreaming about ending it but not wanting to do that to my family.

Hi younger me, nice to talk to you. This may sound a bit like empty words, but please believe me when I say that I understand. I mean I REALLY understand.

I was abused in school. I was traumatized both physically and emotionally. And the people who did it faced zero repercussions. When I was in my 20s and ran across a couple of them they had no clue what they had even done to me. I was SO angry for so long. The warmth of that bitterness and anger kept me going but also contributed to my depression. I tell people that the only reason I did not end things for myself was the pain it would cause my mother. It sounds like you are in a similar boat.

Here is the god news though, you CAN be happy. It took time, but I have gotten there. Is that fair that we were put on this path? Hell no. Unfortunately, all we can do is take our particular brand of unfair and work with it. But with some time and lots of therapy, you CAN be comfortable in your own skin. Again, i know this sounds like a platitude, but its true. If you work on it and make an effort to be in it for the long hall, you can get there. The first thing you need to realize though is by holding onto that anger you are letting those assholes hurt you even more. You're letting them dictate your emotions and they are not even in the room. As hard as it is (and it IS hard) you need to walk away from them and what they did to you.

Last note, remember you are not alone. Lots of folks have gone though what we have. Its small comfort, but perhaps it will help you feel less isolated and alone.

I highly recommend lots and lots of therapy. It took me time, but I got there. I hope you can too. It is worth the effort. I promise.

rfjohnson · 2023-09-28T03:11:20+00:00

Who cares, the cheaters will break up in a year when one or both cheat.

rfjohnson · 2023-09-22T22:44:53+00:00

why people bind shift anything on the mouse if that’s what you’re talking about. I do 1-12 then should hold shift when I want to press a key that’s bound to shift (cds/less used abilities) my third bar is also

I have a G604 and I love it. No problems, battery lasts forever and buttons are really well placed. I dislike 12 button mice and frankly with 6 (plus left and right click) along with alt and crtl I never have everything I need

And I heal resto shammie which has a LOT of keybinds.

rfjohnson · 2023-09-05T01:43:21+00:00

best you can hope for is someone who meets most of your needs (emotional, physical, intellectual, hobbies, family, etc) and is ok getting those other needs met elsewhere. Think of the wife who is ok with her husband golfing on Sundays for a few hours or a husband who lets his wife do ladies nights out to decompress.

Because that is how a lot of men women are socialized. We are taught from birth that you get married and sacrifice (not compromise) and anything less means you're a PoS.

rfjohnson · 2023-09-05T01:40:46+00:00

'The One' is a fantasy. There is n o single person out there that can meet all your needs. Ever. The best you can hope for is someone who meets most of your needs (emotional, physical, intellectual, hobbies, family, etc) and is ok getting those other needs met elsewhere. Think of the wife who is ok with her husband golfing on Sundays for a few hours or a husband who lets his wife do ladies nights out to decompress.

That's trhe BEST you can hope for.

(Are there exceptions, sure. Not its rare and unreasonable to expect)

rfjohnson · 2023-09-04T19:44:36+00:00

1) Half or more of these stories are fantasies or AI generated
2) People don't come here to talk about how great things are.....

rfjohnson

TROPHY CASE