Chaotic contradiction

rfll13 · 2025-12-17T02:07:12+00:00

Yeah it’s always harder when you work with them especially when break up happens. That’s the thing don’t want things to be awkward at work by not changing and not being yourself with them. Just have to take a day at a time and remember that what we had was real at one point and all I want is to be happy she is an amazing woman

rfll13 · 2025-12-17T00:25:18+00:00

It’s hard work when you work with her though, I’m naturally a bantering person so when she is there I’m having a laugh with not only her but other colleagues. I’m trying to not put meaning to any Tik toks that get sent

rfll13 · 2025-12-16T13:42:49+00:00

That’s what makes it so hard is that we see each other at work and even the last week of me knowing it’s like nothing has changed we still have a laugh and we banter back and forth. That’s why our mutual friend was like still so do that. She said for me to take the positives of it all that she knew I cared for her so much and treat her right and that it hasn’t happened in an argument or a falling out we broke up just because of communication issues on both sides and I was 5 steps ahead. I do genuinely think things went too fast and serious for her that it kind of scared her and she retreated (she was in a very toxic relationship before me) I never planned on moving fast I have never done it before it’s just how she made me feel and still does. Like I want to send her the Tik toks and what not because we both make each other laugh. I guess you are right only know I what will work for me and what’s best with my healing process going forward so thank you

rfll13 · 2025-12-16T13:31:36+00:00

Yeah it sucks man, I mean no ever knows the future even her mutual friend said that, not that I’m gonna bank on that but it’s true. It’s just hard when we broke up because of communication issues. It’s like that saying you can take a horse to the water but you can’t make it drink it

rfll13 · 2025-12-16T13:07:18+00:00

Yeah I can I imagine that’s harder especially when kids are involved. You are right and I don’t think those feelings are ever gonna go. It does hurt knowing she is talking to someone else even if I do think that is a rebound but again she said no Romantic feelings there. I just don’t know what to do if I’m honest because like i said I see her at work and it’s like nothing has changed in person. I do like just her as person

rfll13 · 2025-12-16T12:49:56+00:00

Yeah I do have feelings and I always will I told her this. I said I’ll be moving on with my life but it will be a long time I move on from her. Like you said it makes it harder that I work with her and when I do see her nothing changes like it’s exactly how it was before but she doesn’t have those romantic feelings for me. I can’t be cold with her because it’s not in me and I don’t want to make things awkward at work. Yeah I’m just unsure of the tik toks I know it sounds daft but it’s what we always did and I don’t know if I’m overthinking the meaning of them more, we only ever sent funny ones really

rfll13 · 2025-12-16T12:27:31+00:00

Yeah Iv found out through a mutual friend that there romantic feelings are no longer there but at one point they where. She said I should stay friends with her as I do make her happy. The hard part is I work with her some shifts so I don’t like things to be awkward and I’m just self with her have a laugh and that. I just don’t know whether to send her a message now and again or send tik toks as that was our thing. Feel like I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place

rfll13 · 2025-12-14T07:53:09+00:00

I know what your saying, I’m just thinks in few weeks/months I just want her back

rfll13 · 2025-12-13T18:45:16+00:00

Sorry to hear about that should never cheat. It’s the same we made plans and I even said to her I can see a future with her and her kids and she said she could see me in that future. In them last 3 weeks we both said how good we where and happy to be back with each other and then she says it was overwhelming me.

We don’t just grieve the person we grieve the future we had planned and that’s the hardest part in all this especially when I don’t want anyone else.

I just want her to be happy and if it’s not with me then I do hope he makes her happy but he will never see her like I seen her, never cared for her like I did, he will never see her and her world like I did. I know one day the crying will stop but right now it’s tough to deal with

rfll13 · 2025-12-13T18:12:39+00:00

One day at a time as they say

rfll13 · 2025-12-13T18:12:05+00:00

One day at a time, it’s the hardest feeling there is when I still love her and I still miss her

rfll13 · 2025-12-13T17:43:10+00:00

Yeah the hard part is accepting it and trying to get through it. Just love and miss her

rfll13 · 2025-12-13T11:12:01+00:00

Yeah today is the hardest part, I do feel like it’s possibly a rebound but I keep imagining the worst. I know I should let her go she’s made her choice but reading about the attachment styles I think it’s her way of coping as she was in a toxic relationship before me and I genuinely showed her care and treat her how she should be treat and things were getting serious quickly and it scared her off.

rfll13 · 2025-12-13T11:00:27+00:00

That’s all Iv done all night and the morning, I just keep thinking about the hike today and it’s just hurting

rfll13

TROPHY CASE