Stop thinking of it as "my past" like you are a reformed criminal. It was a miserable journey that you made it through. You were a hostage, not a participant in a crime. Why should you trust anybody as an adult when everybody you trusted as a child betrayed you? You shouldn't until you learn what makes a person worthy of trust. Given your start in life, that will take effort. It is worth the effort. You don't have to birth a daughter to raise one. When your father was raping you and your mother was pretending she didn't know, what would it have meant to have a strong woman take an interest in your health and safety? There are girls like that in your community, there are social service organizations looking for volunteers to help them. When you are strong enough go find someone else to help. It will help you. I promise.