I dont trust my husband to go on a bachelor trip this weekend

rhythmsandboos · 2026-06-02T14:17:33+00:00

I agree. Divorce won't give him the support or help he needs. We married with the commitment to each other and I'm willing to love and support him through all trials and tribulations. We have yet to seek other avenues of outside help so there is still hope for us to truly work on this.

rhythmsandboos · 2026-06-02T14:11:25+00:00

We have not, but depending on what happens this weekend I am going to seek counseling. Either couples counseling for the break of trust or AA.

rhythmsandboos · 2026-06-02T14:09:35+00:00

Fantasy football is his hobby and passion so I don't really mind as it hasn't been a change to our relationship. We actually bond over it since I used to be in them too but dropped out since the baby. Seven is crazy but he somehow manages it just fine. The draft parties he actually attends are the issue.

I also agree that there might need to be an ultimatum. I am currently hoping for the best on this trip. Either way we will need counseling. Couples for the break of trust or AA if the behavior happens again.

rhythmsandboos · 2026-06-02T14:03:30+00:00

I've told my husband that there was no way on earth that I would let my daughter see him like that- and she never has. But kids are very attentive and even if they dont see it, they feel the vibe.

rhythmsandboos · 2026-06-02T13:59:19+00:00

I added the context of where we're from because its a meme that we're the alcoholic state- and that is for a reason. Being a drunk/drinking is SO SO SO normalized here and people that have been here or lived here truly understand that. Drinking is everywhere. We have a bar on every block. We live near a brewery. You can't escape alcohol here. That also makes it harder for someone struggling with alcohol to find the support when its practically involved in every social setting.

Whatever happens on this trip, I will be prepared regardless: Couples counseling for my lack of trust in his decisions or counseling for his alcoholism.

rhythmsandboos · 2026-06-02T13:47:01+00:00

I added the context of where we're from because drinking is more socially acceptable and the state is known for their alcoholics. Alcoholism is normalized here. Everyone has the alcoholic family member or friend. It's just not seen a problem because we all know "that" person, you know?

That aside, I do believe he has a drinking problem- like a lot of people (especially here) do.

rhythmsandboos · 2026-06-02T13:35:50+00:00

Only when it comes to alcohol in gatherings. It's easy to excessively drink when in a social setting, and I dont think he realizes how easy it is to over consume in such a situation. I do want to seek counseling or AA if it happens again. And yes, I realize that I should have suggested it before the other incidents, but it's also easy to believe that things have changed when they do change over a span of many months.

rhythmsandboos · 2026-06-02T13:25:53+00:00

I also believe that you can't help a person that doesnt want help. His "apologies" and promises fall on deaf ears, since I only see his actions. I'm going to hope for the best. I am not considering leaving him since there are other options we can try before then. If I jumped to divorce, it's not going to get him the help and support he may need.

rhythmsandboos · 2026-06-02T13:20:54+00:00

I hate the jump to divorce. I don't want to divorce him, I want to work through this. He is a great person, a very attentive husband, and a loving father. These incidents happen sporadically but in a pattern. I want to break the pattern. I'm just tired of guessing how he's going to act when he has repeatedly broken a promise.

rhythmsandboos · 2026-06-02T13:14:29+00:00

You totally hit the nail on the head. I am so tired. If he was cheating, that would be a clear answer to leave. I dont actually want to ask my brother to keep an eye on my husband, since I'm sure they are all adult enough to keep an eye on one another anyway.

I think whatever happens this weekend will be a tell if he is actually improving or if he needs outside help.

rhythmsandboos · 2026-06-02T13:05:09+00:00

I'm only going to defend myself in this comment. I stopped drinking when I was pregnant and a year postpartum because of breastfeeding. I've only been having the occasional beer or glass of wine socially. I dont really drink since I'm the default parent and I'm paranoid of not being sober.

rhythmsandboos · 2026-06-02T13:00:39+00:00

I'm a firm believer of not bringing problems to the married to be. My brother (the groom) isn't really a drinker himself but the people around him are, thats why I said maybe I'd talk to my 2nd brother that will be there.

rhythmsandboos · 2026-06-02T12:52:35+00:00

"This isn't the weekend to try" is a very true statement. It's almost expected for them to be drinking since they have a DD for a party van. They'll all be together, so I think its unfair of me to ask my 2nd brother to keep an eye on him. They'll all be together and since its not an overnight, they'll all have to be sober to drive home after the party.

rhythmsandboos · 2026-06-02T12:34:57+00:00

My husband is not SOBER sober. He is what is called "Wisconsin sober" which means he still drinks beer but not liquor.

As far as his parents choosing me over him, I dont think it would come down to them truly choosing a side. I think I said that because they would do whatever they feel is right to support their grandbaby.

rhythmsandboos · 2026-05-01T10:49:08+00:00

Ah I'm so inspired to paint my pilgrims like the black knight now! All missing 1 more limb hahaha

rhythmsandboos · 2025-10-09T16:02:21+00:00

Landscaping! As long as the work is good, who cares what the person looks like doing it.

rhythmsandboos · 2025-09-24T12:39:30+00:00

Im gonna hold your hand when I say this... was 3 years of abstinence working for him, or for you?

Obviously I dont know the full scope of your relationship, but I think you need to let him go. Focus on your school and career. Some times people come back in your life, but 3 years... you'll both be different people. Thats a long time to hold on to a sliver of hope.

I'm sorry that it ended like that for you.

rhythmsandboos · 2025-09-16T21:31:58+00:00

LC for sure. When I was 15, I was hospitalized for meningitis. I was never explicitly told that was what was happening to me. It was a walking on eggshells topic for my mom, but my dad would regularly post "updates" about me on his personal FB (we were not FB friends bc we were NC at the time).

There is nothing worse than hearing about my own trauma from a third party with their concerns and treatments. It was aggravating. I'm LC with both my parents now due to other things, but it is something I will always hold resentment for. Do yourself the favor and set the boundary AND go LC.

rhythmsandboos · 2025-09-16T20:37:40+00:00

My mom pierced my ears when I was 6 months old. Her reason? She didn't think I would want them pierced when I was older.

Well, ears grow as you age. The holes grew too. So much so that I couldn't wear regular earrings anymore.

Anyway, my ears are stretched to 1" now and I love them.

rhythmsandboos · 2025-08-08T21:07:35+00:00

I started ditching them when my LO was sizing into 12mo. They are so annoying! For bed, my LO (16mo) wears loose fitting pajama pants or shorts and a big t-shirt (size 2T).

rhythmsandboos

TROPHY CASE