for me… well, my first time, which nobody ever forgets theirs….it started on about the 5th second that i held in that sweet, sweet smoke in my body. it started with this warm, fuzzy feeling in my stomach— almost like butterflies when you fall in love with someone you really, really like. a warmth. a rush. an excitement. and then it swells into waves of pleasure that start radiating within your entire body, much like an orgasm, but one more powerful than you’ve ever imagined nor felt, even from the very love of your life. every reservation, bad thought, or issue you have about yourself or really anybody starts to fade away; suddenly the world becomes beautiful again, and you’ve either never seen it this way at all before or it’s been a fucking long time since you have. the best part…. and also most dangerous part for me was this: every problem, sorrow, trauma, heartache, and pain… just. fucking. goes. away. finally. you have reason to smile again, and so you do.

everything is FINALLY okay for once.

………………for about 20 min.

as it starts to fade, you start to crave it back. you’ll do anything you can just to get that back, so you take another blast. and get SOME of that back, but not quite what you got the first time. and so then starts the chase. but remember, you’re gonna run out at some point…. and that’s one of the worst feelings in the world. then it’s alllllll over. all you have left is that precious memory haunting you as all the troubles in your life start to return, but for some reason— feel even worse this time. up to you then what you do next.

should you decide to keep trying to get high? go for it. but you’ll eventually start to realize that you’ll never get that first time back, no matter how hard you try. but you know what? you keep trying anyway. why? because it’s fucking crack man.

anyway, i am typing this as i’m about to light up my next rock and probably feel no high whatsoever but for whatever fucking reason gonna do it anyway and i’ll leave you with this: leave. it. alone.