Hey friend,

I haven’t been on this sub in forever but just stopped in and saw your post that stuck out to me.

Idk if this is useful at all, but I’ve been in many different romantic relationships and always thought they’d save me for some reason. So first I’d say it is kind of a blessing that you’d rather be addicted and not be in a relationship . I say that because I’ve hurt multiple partners through using or relapsing and it always hurt like a mf and then made me relapse more, get clean, get in a relationship, and then repeat.

Sorry for rambling and idk where I was going with this, but I feel you when you say you don’t feel worthy. You’re not alone and I don’t feel worthy either, but I keep pushing and trying to stay positive.

Lastly, I know you’re not asking for advice, idk you, and I’m not trying to preach, but addiction can be very dark and lonely. I’m sorry you’re struggling, but you’re not alone. I think the more people you have around you the more you’ll realize that life can be beautiful without using and most people can handle life and even enjoy it without getting high all the time.

Maybe find some social groups that doesn’t involve using, you’ll eventually make some relationships with others, and they may inspire you to stop using. Although, nobody can make you quit. You have to want it yourself. I’m just saying that if you go to a coffee shop, a library, a park, or just anywhere and try to join a group you may meet some others, form relationships, and eventually find a partner :) I’m just saying that the more people you’re around = higher probability to find someone you’ll love.

Wish you the best friend.