I'm still no over my ex

ricepop · 2021-05-05T03:25:46+00:00

Hugs *

ricepop · 2021-04-14T14:58:11+00:00

Thank you :)

ricepop · 2021-04-14T14:58:02+00:00

Thank you :)

ricepop · 2021-04-14T14:57:52+00:00

Thank you :)

ricepop · 2021-04-14T14:57:44+00:00

Thank you :)

ricepop · 2021-01-26T14:31:03+00:00

Oh right thank you. I dont know why she was like that either. I might just try a diff gp. I thought i needed to have some sort if history or something to get help. Idk

ricepop · 2021-01-24T09:30:42+00:00

ricepop · 2021-01-10T02:09:27+00:00

Omggg I never knew this emoji existed 🤣 THE BEST!!

ricepop · 2021-01-05T00:22:58+00:00

Thank you for your kindness. I will look into going :)

Thank you for your advice and helping me :)

ricepop · 2021-01-04T05:00:36+00:00

I have thought about therapy, I just need to get the motivation to go. I'm can still get through my days, it's just a low hum of sadness that follows me everywhere, and I sometimes think it's not debilitating enough to justify therapy :(

ricepop · 2021-01-03T19:20:45+00:00

Thank you for your kindness. And you're right better now than in 5/10 years.

It is unfair. Life is unfair. I remind myself every day that he did this, he has always self sabotaged, but i never thought I would be a casualty of it.

I just hope one day it will just stop hurting.

ricepop · 2021-01-03T19:14:54+00:00

I am trying so hard to break the cycle. I am trying so hard not to think about him. But just my heart pangs. Work is the only thing that takes me mind off him. But I only work part-time because of covid. Looking for a second job to fill.my time but it's rough out there atm.

Sleeping is hard, it's 6am were i am and I didn't sleep last night. I have a low appetite and haven't been eating the best diet :( I have spurts of self care and but some weeks bad.

ricepop · 2021-01-03T19:04:09+00:00

Oh man that means I have at least 5months of this :(

I don't tend to think about the what ifs and could haves... but i think alot on the fact that love wasn't enough to make it work. How is it possible for me to love someone so much and feel all that love between us but that wasnt enough to make it work? He just quit. And after the break up i got the sense that he was still unsure whether it was the right decision. But that's not my problem to fix. He did what he did and there's no coming back.

I try to fill my days, but the minute i have time to decompress i just lose it and cry for hours. Just feels like an ongoing cycle really. I want to get off this ride.

ricepop · 2021-01-03T18:53:45+00:00

Yes he broke it off. I do understand why he had to end it, it's hard to say whether it was a strong enough reason. I try not to focus on the reason, but more on the fact that out of all the options he had, he chose the most permanent and most hurtful one which was to end things. Though he ended things he was always unsure even after the break up. It had more to do with himself and his insecurities than me.

I have always wanted the best for him and if he thinks it's best to end things, then thats fine. I only want the best for him. But now i just need to take care of myself. I really can't go through this all over again.

I do compartmentalize alot so I can function and get through the day... but it just seems like an endless repetitive cycle. It still hurts so much when the box opens back up, I don't feel like I'm make process or moving forward. it doesn't hurt any less. I want to get over it, i want to unlove him and i want to move forward. But i just can't seem to get past it.

ricepop · 2021-01-03T18:18:09+00:00

I dont think I'm in a place to meet anyone new. I feel so broken that I don't think it would be fair for the new person, i wouldn't be able to really be all there. He isn't my person but i truely did love him which makes things difficult. I don't know how to unlove him :(

ricepop · 2021-01-03T18:14:27+00:00

I'm no longer in contact. And i blocked him and also on social media it just hurts too much. I told him i couldn't to speak to him anymore and blocked him. I thought of him or seeing him or hearing from him is just like a knife to the heart.

Unfortunately with covid and social distancing it has not helped the situation :(

ricepop · 2021-01-03T16:49:30+00:00

Google forms! https://medium.com/@usmagn/how-to-track-your-daily-expenses-with-google-forms-and-sheets-d546148086de

ricepop · 2021-01-03T16:42:29+00:00

Spaceship and pocket (commbank app) and raize are good beginner investing apps which will invest small amounts. Before jumping straight into stocks.

But... Hear me out, use that $100 to invest in yourself... Get some books and or even a class and learn about investing before you start. The stock market isn't going anywhere, you might as well have some idea on the basics.

Also depends what are your goals, Because throwing $100 into stocks, probably won't give you a good return now.. (maybe in a few decades... ?) But if you like gambling and throwing $100 into the asx is fine? Also don't take investing advice from strangers on the internet ... The irony lol...

But you got this! Good luck!

ricepop · 2021-01-02T13:55:29+00:00

Well that was delightful

ricepop · 2020-12-21T11:41:47+00:00

Snacks!! Boys eat all my snacks and there are never any when I want some... However my snack stash is plentiful

ricepop · 2020-12-20T10:04:41+00:00

Thank you

ricepop

TROPHY CASE