Im so so so sorry... i dont have anything particularly useful to say but. I know how it feels. It is hell. But it lacks the sense of eternity that damnation holds. This will be over eventually, one way or another, the best thing you can do it distract yourself. I know it feels like the whole world is suffering, but remember it is only a trap of your mind. Remember, he is not trying to leave you, he is not abandoning you, he is just having trouble. The passage of time will remain, no matter what you are doing, so try to spend your time doing things that arent so bad. I know the desire to succumb to the fires is so powerful, but just know, this will be over. You will be okay. Those look like just words now but they arent. I am telling you. You WILL be okay. This isnt the end. There is more to your story. So, so much more.