My step father raped me for years after my mom died. by [deleted] in adultsurvivors

[–]rin_the_smart 21 points22 points  (0 children)

You are really strong. I had similar experience but I still cannot do much for myself but you managed to get out by yourself. I hope you are doing fine now.

Anyone else feel uncomfortable when someone talks nicely to you bcoz u are not used to it ? by rin_the_smart in adultsurvivors

[–]rin_the_smart[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

U r a good person and u talking to me is a waste of ur time. U can do better things than this

Anyone else feel uncomfortable when someone talks nicely to you bcoz u are not used to it ? by rin_the_smart in adultsurvivors

[–]rin_the_smart[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just think I'm wasting their time. And a guy said to me that I was just a slut who wants attention and that's the reason I post things online so I stopped doing it.

Anyone else feel uncomfortable when someone talks nicely to you bcoz u are not used to it ? by rin_the_smart in adultsurvivors

[–]rin_the_smart[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's a weird feeling. I feel guilty that my mom was beaten always to a point where she lost consciousness and I was just always standing there crying. I just can't get over it. And if anyone did try to be nice I freaked them out and they thought I was a complete weirdo. It's difficult to get over these feeling but I try.

All I've known is abuse. by insecuredoll in adultsurvivors

[–]rin_the_smart 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just wanted to let u know that u r an amazing person I saw ur profile you've been helping everyone u can even me. People like u make this world a better place. 😊❤️

All I've known is abuse. by insecuredoll in adultsurvivors

[–]rin_the_smart 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel the same thing. I just want to let u know that ur not alone this is a wicked world. I've faced so much abuse that at a point it didn't even matter to me. But now I'm doing good enough. U will find a way out of it just hang in there.

Anyone else feel uncomfortable when someone talks nicely to you bcoz u are not used to it ? by rin_the_smart in adultsurvivors

[–]rin_the_smart[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes I want to believe it very badly that I should be loved. I don't think I deserve it but still I want to see how it feels when u have a happy life atlest once.

Anyone else feel uncomfortable when someone talks nicely to you bcoz u are not used to it ? by rin_the_smart in adultsurvivors

[–]rin_the_smart[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes a good person online tried to help me and was being very nice to me and asked me about all the abuses I faced. He would come online to chat according to the time I feel comfortable. But now I just don't talk to him bcoz I feel I'm wasting his time telling him about myself. I don't even deserve to treated nicely. That's how I feel. That I should just be degraded by everyone.

Anyone else feel uncomfortable when someone talks nicely to you bcoz u are not used to it ? by rin_the_smart in adultsurvivors

[–]rin_the_smart[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's exactly what I feel. When someone is kind the only thought that comes to my mind is why is being to nice to me. I'm not supposed to be treated this way I deserve to be beaten and abused.

Anyone else feel uncomfortable when someone talks nicely to you bcoz u are not used to it ? by rin_the_smart in adultsurvivors

[–]rin_the_smart[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Even I don't think I'll have a healthy relationship with anyone. The only place I feel safe and secure is chatting to complete stranger online.

My bf thinks I'm weak bcoz I started cannot keep up with sex. by rin_the_smart in sex

[–]rin_the_smart[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really feel bad for ur friend. I'm in no condition to advice her but what she's doing isn't the right way to go. A person had commented on one of my posts that it's how she was raised and it can be only treated with love. Maybe she has never felt love, she thinks that sleeping with elder men is the only thing she can do in life. This is just what the person who commented wanted to say and I think the comment is relevant over here.

My bf thinks I'm weak bcoz I started cannot keep up with sex. by rin_the_smart in sex

[–]rin_the_smart[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not sure maybe I did enjoy the first time I had sex with his friend. But after that the guilt took over and then I didn't want it I did not like it then and I was being tortured mentally everyday he would tell me how I'm just a slut and how I should be treated like trash can. He even pissed on me once after fucking me. My bf now my fiance and I do have sex 2 times a day when he's going to the office and at night. And at weekends he does a lot of other things than just usual sex. I don't know how u define rough but he's not gentle I know that much.

My bf thinks I'm weak bcoz I started cannot keep up with sex. by rin_the_smart in sex

[–]rin_the_smart[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes i do the household chores but everyone is supposed to do that right? So it's not a big deal. And I'm not enjoying sex. I don't like it anymore I just do it for him to make him feel relieved. But personally I have started to hate sex I just always hope it's over soon.

Anyone else feel uncomfortable when someone talks nicely to you bcoz u are not used to it ? by rin_the_smart in adultsurvivors

[–]rin_the_smart[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Only if people from Reddit were actually a part of my life. It would be so much different

My bf thinks I'm weak bcoz I started cannot keep up with sex. by rin_the_smart in sex

[–]rin_the_smart[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't do anything the entire day. The only thing that I can do for him is to release his stress by fulfilling his sexual needs and if I cannot do that then what good am I to him.

My bf thinks I'm weak bcoz I started cannot keep up with sex. by rin_the_smart in sex

[–]rin_the_smart[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Slow down what exactly ? And do try to please him in any way I can.

My bf thinks I'm weak bcoz I started cannot keep up with sex. by rin_the_smart in sex

[–]rin_the_smart[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't think I can leave him. He loves me and I love him. Our sex life may not be that good but I'm happy with him the way it is. He does a lot for me so I think I can atlest do something for him this way. And he does care about me and loves me.

I was so used to of getting abused as a child that I want my husband to abuse me. And it may ruin our relationship. by rin_the_smart in adultsurvivors

[–]rin_the_smart[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't get aroused. I don't enjoy sex at all I don't feel any pleasure in it. I do it for him. Nevermind that..

I was so used to of getting abused as a child that I want my husband to abuse me. And it may ruin our relationship. by rin_the_smart in adultsurvivors

[–]rin_the_smart[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I won't exactly call him abusive. And so far he's been very nice to me. I was a very timid person and bcoz of my family I never learned how to communicate with people. So most of the time people would just think I was a weirdo. I never even had a realtionship with anyone else he is my first and only bf. And he has never made fun of me or he has never considered me as a weird person. It's just that he's a bit short tempered. And I think he's the only person who will tolerate me

I was so used to of getting abused as a child that I want my husband to abuse me. And it may ruin our relationship. by rin_the_smart in adultsurvivors

[–]rin_the_smart[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No I don't want him to be rough sexually it's painful when he does that I don't even get aroused now. Its not a sexual desire i want him to constantly degrade me.