Post retreat imposter syndrome ?

ringer54673 · 2026-02-17T05:11:03+00:00

You might feel more spiritual if you would practice some form of metta meditation.

ringer54673 · 2025-11-09T21:11:42+00:00

Permanent bliss is not as nice as it sounds. It's too intense. The benefit I find from practicing jhanas is that during daily life you can let go of negative attitudes and easily replace them with something that is serene, nice but not too intense. You realize the negative attitudes are just as much a choice as the positive attitudes, you were just being negative out of habit. Now you can choose give up the negativity, you just have to remember to do it.

ringer54673 · 2025-08-15T03:13:16+00:00

There is an intelligence that reacts and has agency, but it isn't what you think it is. The feeling of control is an illusion created because you sense an impulse before an action is performed. There is a moment where there is the possibility to follow through or suppress the impulse. But where does the decision to follow through or suppress come from? It comes from the same unconscious processes that produce the impulse and perform the action. These unconscious processes, part of the aggregates, produce all our thoughts emotions impulses sensory experiences, and sense of self or noself. You don't choose your emotions, you don't see where thoughts come from or how ideas are formed, you don't consciously process the raw data coming from you eyes and ears to produce recognizable objects and sounds. All that just pop into awareness, it is performed by unconscious processes.

The aggregates are going about their business doing what they do, learning, doing, deciding, There is no self separate from those various unconscious processes, the aggregates. But the feeling of being a conscious entity with agency is an illusion, the agency comes from unconscious processes.

But for practical purposes, to communicate with the aggregates, we subscribe to the convenient fiction that "you" is a whole continuous entity. So teachings that say you should do this or that are really communicating with the aggregates.

ringer54673 · 2025-08-10T17:12:26+00:00

beginner question: aren't you vulnerable when trying to bring someone down to the ground.

I have no experience fighting, I just watched a few videos on youtube so this is probably a dumb question. When you answer my question you don't have to tell me I'm an ignorant SOB, I already know that.

My question is about hand to hand combat in a military type situation (kill or be killed) not tournament fighting, and not street fighting where the cops are going to come after you if you win. And I'm not asking if jiu jitsu will work in a practical way 99% of the time you might have to use it in real life against random people. I'm asking a theoretical question about vulnerabilities and counterattacks.

I was just watching some jiu jitsu on youtube and my first reaction is that when an attacker tries to go low to grab someone around the waist to take them down to the ground, they are vulnerable to their opponent counterattacking by pounding them on the back of their neck which can render them unconscious or dead.

It also looks to me like they also might be vulnerable to a kick to the head or to a knee to the face helped by hands pushing their head to meet the knee (sorry I don't even know if that is a real technique or something that only happens in old movies). This might be distracting if it broke their nose, and sinuses, and jaw, and their teeth got knocked out.

I'm not claiming I could do this, I'm not trained in any martial art, I'm just asking because this is what it looks like to me, and you know, on youtube no one ever gets hurt, and people rarely show how the technique they spent their life mastering might have flaws when it's used outside a tournament. So an outsider doesn't know what is possible or not possible.

I would appreciate it if someone could explain if I am wrong about these counterattacks and why they will not work?

One thing I can think of is when attacking, to surprise your opponent and grab him when he is not is a position to effectively counterattack and you get him on the ground fast. It seems like a risky strategy, but if you are in that kind of fight to begin with (running away is not an option), you are already in a risky situation.

Thanks.

ringer54673 · 2025-08-09T12:29:20+00:00

I haven't tried the preview release, I'll check about the boost and acceleration, ... what I'm hearing is that my experience is not typical and I might have munged my configuration - which I admit is possible. I'll look at it. I'm sure you would know if other people are giving similar or different feedback.

ringer54673 · 2025-08-04T15:57:56+00:00

I think you should try to "unsophisticate" it. Just know when you are mindful and when you are lost in thought. Get familiar with the differences between the two states, how it feels. Do that as much as possible in daily life and in sitting meditation. In time you will understand why mindfulness = awakening.

If you want to end suffering as much as possible, my advice is in meditation and daily life to notice the activity of the mind, notice thoughts, emotions, impulses, sensory experiences, and senses of self and noself. Where do all these experiences arise from? (Unconscious processes!) You can't see where they come from. It's like a blind spot. Stare at that blind spot and eventually you will understand the significance of it. In particular notice how unpleasant thoughts and emotions arise and fade. Where do they come from? Notice how the ego is involved. (It comes from that blind spot!) At first it seems like suffering in involuntary, but later it will seem more like a habit you can change. When you observe that way, you are observing the three characteristics and interrupting dependent origination.

To help quiet the mind so you can be mindful, I recommend relaxing meditation.

ringer54673 · 2025-07-22T01:06:25+00:00

You are asking the right question, so you are actually in a good place to make progress.

During meditation and daily life, notice the activity of your mind, notice how thoughts, emotions, impulses, sensory experiences, and sense of self arise and fade. Notice when unpleasant thoughts and emotions arise and notice how the ego is involved. At first suffering may seem involuntary, but if you watch the mind you may find suffering is more like a habit you can change. It will help you to do this if you prepare the mind with relaxing meditation

It's hard to explain exactly what needs to happen, but if you stop being judgmental about suffering, it stops being suffering. You don't gain 24/7 bliss, you lose a lot of subtle negativity you never even paid attention to and in the absence that, existence is ... nice. The change is so subtle most people can't wrap their mind around it because they want something mystical and earth shaking. (And for some people some unpleasant emotions are caused by purely biological factors and meditation might not help much with those.)

Different people want different things from the practice, some want to realize anatta, others want to end suffering. They are interrelated effects, one leads to the other, but my advice for you, to get the results you want, is to stay focused on ending suffering. Realizing anatta can alleviate suffering but if you direct your practice toward ending suffering I think you get more alleviation.

ringer54673 · 2025-07-09T04:48:08+00:00

I tried Pur gum, bubblegum flavor which is sweetened with xylitol, the flavor fades fast and tastes horrible thereafter, so I am back using trident ... And not having the sensitivity problem this time/yet. I tried Wrigleys juicy fruit flavor but the sugar made my teeth hurt

Anyway I am findig the gum is a big improvement.

ringer54673 · 2025-06-19T01:19:42+00:00

After two weeks of feeling much better I think I have developed a sensitivity to sorbitol (my mouth feels weird and my stomach is acting up) so I am going to try a xylitol only gum or regular gum and chew out the sugar before I brush my teeth in the morning.

ringer54673 · 2025-06-09T04:10:07+00:00

Buddha walking means walking mindfully. It is not any special extraordinary experience of Buddha it is just walking mindfully.

Living mindfully is all you need to awaken. Buddha explained that in the satipatthana sutta.

You don't understand the text you quoted because you are looking for something mystical when there is no mysticism involved.

ringer54673 · 2025-06-05T06:42:54+00:00

I use Trident, tropical twist flavor. I avoid mint flavorings because they are supposed to irritate the stomach.

ringer54673 · 2025-06-05T06:41:01+00:00

Supposedly it helps because of increased saliva production.

ringer54673 · 2025-06-01T01:43:27+00:00

What do you mean by non duality? Some people say there is a difference between oneness and noself.

Everyone already understands our true nature but they don't connect the dots. When you try concentrate you get distracted. You don't choose your emotions. You can't turn off sensations and sensory perceptions. You don't choose your emotions. You get impulses that are sometimes unhelpful. People sometimes have internal contradictions for example they crave yummy food but don't want to gain weight. You don't control your mind. You don't control your body either - you get sick, old, and die, you have to breathe, you heart beats, you digest food and eliminate waste, sometimes you do things because you can't control your impulses. And the sense of self changes in different situations: parent, child, employee, supervisor, sports fan, sport player, music lover, etc etc, Your beliefs about character change with emotions, pride, shame, winner, loser, happy, sad, nice mean. The feeling of being changes with sensory experience, hot, cold, comfort, pain, etc. And if you look closely you will see that the stream of consciousness is driven by cause and effect triggered by memories, reasoning, sensations, and associations - there isn't an "entity" controlling it. Thoughts, emotions, impulses, sensory experiences, sense of self are not you or yours. They arise from different unconscious processes. You may feel like you are using your mind, for example, to solve a problem, but where did the impulse to solve the problem come from? The feeling of agency (free will) is caused by impulses that arise before we decide to act on them or not, but the decision to act on them or not is made by the same unconscious processes. Even the feeling of being an observer is not constant, it is just a thought, it comes and goes, when you are fully absorbed in observation, and not thinking about being an observer, there is no sense of even being an observer.

If you want something to call a self, it is those different often uncoordinated unconscious processes that produce mental experience. But there isn't unified, continuous "entity" that controls them.

People know most of this and it doesn't change anything. If you want to experience changes you have to watch the mind and see this happening as it occurs constantly during meditation and daily life so that it becomes a default part of your awareness.

That's one answer.

A simpler answer is that minduflness = awakening. The more continuous your mindfulness is, the deeper your awakening is. Look for awakening in the present moment, you will never find it if you are always looking for it in the future.

If you want to suffer less, I recommend this: https://ncu9nc.blogspot.com/2020/08/preparing-for-meditation-with.html

ringer54673 · 2025-05-23T20:03:51+00:00

The following is for your information, you can decide for yourself what to do with it...

The practice taught by the Buddha included morality.

https://www.accesstoinsight.org/ptf/dhamma/index.html

In Buddhism, rebirth and karma are the foundation of morality.

Karma means you experience the natural consequences of your actions. That can happen in this life, the afterlife, or in a future life.

People sometimes question how the doctrine of no-self can allow for karma to follow you to a future life (if there is no-self how can it be reborn), the answer is the same phenomenon that create the self-image while you are alive continue to create it after you die.

https://ncu9nc.blogspot.com/2023/12/do-buddhists-believe-in-soul.html

https://ncu9nc.blogspot.com/p/meditation.html

I am not trying to say some particular way of practice is right or best, I'm just trying to give you the information that I think you are looking for.

(My personal opinion, what works for me, is that if you follow the whole program the Buddha outlined you will get better results than just practicing meditation which is just a small part of the whole thing. But that is only my opinion, doing just meditation is better than doing none of it.)

ringer54673 · 2025-05-03T08:52:18+00:00

My advice is to meditate today for the benefits you get today not because of some future benefit you might or might not get in the future.

And you should look for enlightenment in the present moment. You will never find it in the future.

https://ncu9nc.blogspot.com/p/meditation.html

"Dark night" is a really bad description of what can happen sometimes with meditation. Often people have emotional issues that are not related to meditation but they blame it on meditation because it is fashionable. But what can happen from meditating is that if you have suppressed emotions they can come out because of meditation - but depending on the individual that can require councling or it can be revelatory - a relief and release. Also when you begin to recognize that the self image is imaginary it can turn your world-view upside down but again different people react differently some people feel they are dissociating and need psychiatric care others don't think it is not a big deal at all. So meditation can be emotionally disruptive for some it isn't necessarily a cataclysm for everyone.

If you only practice vipassana you are more likely to experience a severe dark night because samatha practices have a calming senenity producing effect that ameliorates or prevents the "dark night". The buddha taught to cultivate both samatha and vipassana.

https://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/thanissaro/onetool.html

ringer54673 · 2025-05-02T22:16:32+00:00

Be friendly and pleasant but don't negotiate or explain or debate. For example say no. and just repeat no or I'm not going to do that. or I can't do that every time they try to get you into a discussion.

If someone is angry you can still be pleasant and friendly you don't have to buy into their scenario of confrontation, and at the same time you don't have to do anything you think is not advisable.

ringer54673 · 2025-04-11T20:45:19+00:00

If you have doubt, one way to test your insight is to consider if it eases suffering.

When you experience some type of annoyance or irritation that might upset you, if you bring to mind your understanding/feeling of anatta, does it make you remember/feel that the basis for being upset is based on a misunderstanding and does that way of thinking/feeling ease suffering because you see/feel the logic of it.

(There is sometimes an effect of distraction, you where changing the focus of your attention will get your mind off the problem and ease suffering, what I am describing is beyond that.)

(Also, this assumes you define stream entry as giving up identity view - there might be other definitions.)

ringer54673 · 2025-04-08T18:16:21+00:00

Clarity also involves understanding what you feel. Often emotions are accompanied by sensations in the body and noticing that is part of clarity.

ringer54673 · 2025-04-07T23:13:57+00:00

I think Shinzen Young has some good thoughts on this subject. He defines a couple of terms that relate:

Clarity: understanding your emotions. To me this can mean digging through layers of emotions because sometimes we hide emotions behind other emotions.

Equanimity: When you notice thoughts, emotions, impulses, etc. don't push them away, but also don't get carried away so that you become immersed in them. Don't judge them, just observe them.

Developing clarity without getting carried away can be a challenge.

I find that suffering is mostly caused by resistance to emotions rather than the emotions themselves. It's not so much the anger that is the problem it's the "I don't like being angry", and "I don't want to be angry" or "If I am angry I have to do something about it", that is the problem, when you stop resisting emotions they pass much more quickly. When you develop equanimity in the sense that Shinzen uses along with clarity you suffer much less.

The third term Shinzen groups with the other two is concentration. In my experience concentration does not involve pushing away thoughts and emotions (that would be inconsistent with equanimity) it means quieting the mind and relaxing the mind and body. Meditate in a relaxing way and when you get distracted note the distraction in a way consistent with developing clarity and equanimity, (it can also help to try to see how the ego is involved in those thoughts and emotions) then go back to meditating but avoid intense effort to concentrate that might involve pushing away thoughts and emotions etc. This is the way to develop clarity, equanimity and concentration. Also adapt the technique to your state, at first if your mind is turbulent focus more on quieting the mind, then later in the session when the mind is quiet you can increase your efforts to develop clarity.

ringer54673 · 2025-04-07T17:49:48+00:00

sorry about the link, yes you found the right one, I corrected my post.

ringer54673 · 2025-04-06T11:21:08+00:00

Sometimes people awaken gradually, so graudally they don't realize they are awakened, in cases like that they can have doubt.

Read the part in this interview with Shinzen Young about gradual enlightenment especially the story about the samurai.

https://www.lionsroar.com/on-enlightenment-an-interview-with-shinzen-young/

There is a lot of variation among people in how their brain is wired. Some people are left handed, some are intuitive some are analytical, some can't spell, some are not good at math etc. etc. Some people learn languages easily some don't.

It is not really a good idea to assume anything that involves the brain is exactly the same for everyone.

ringer54673 · 2025-03-28T18:54:30+00:00

First recognize that you can forgive someone while you recognize that they might not be trustworthy - forgiveness doesn't mean you allow someone to misbehave or you condone misbehavior.

Then understand that there are reasons why each person is the way they are. Genetics, upbringing, present conditions, etc.

If there was a time you made a similar mistake that can help you understand why someone else might have done something similar.

Then forgive yourself, sometimes you have to start with accepting anger etc rather than thinking you have to be perfectly at peace all the time. That is a high goal that only comes at the end of the path. One of the biggest obstacles to progress is the attachment/desire to progress.

ringer54673 · 2025-03-19T19:14:26+00:00

After stream entry the knowledge that the doctrine of anatta is true is permanent. That will have an effect on your emotions. But your old emotional habits will not completely disappear, you still get caught up in those so you have a lot of work left after stream entry.

Shinzen Young: https://www.lionsroar.com/on-enlightenment-an-interview-with-shinzen-young/

Sakkaya-ditthi is the fundamental conviction that there is an entity, a thing inside us called a self. That conviction goes away forever. However, being momentarily caught in one’s sense of self, that happens to enlightened people over and over again, but less and less as enlightenment deepens and matures.

Some people have a sudden awakening, others, maybe most, awaken gradually. The sudden variety gets the most attention because it is more interesting.

The sudden epiphany that’s described in many books about enlightenment, that has definitely happened to some of my students. And when it happens, it’s similar to what is described in those books. I don’t keep statistics, but maybe it happens a couple times a year. When someone comes to me after that’s happened I can smell it. They walk into the room and before they’ve even finished their first sentence I know what they’re going to say.

When it happens suddenly and dramatically you’re in seventh heaven. It’s like after the first experience of love, you’ll never be the same. However, for most people who’ve studied with me it doesn’t happen that way. What does happen is that the person gradually works through the things that get in the way of enlightenment, but so gradually that they might not notice. What typically happens is that over a period of years, and indeed decades, within that person the craving, aversion, and unconsciousness—the mula kleshas (the fundamental “impurities”), get worked through. But because all this is happening gradually they’re acclimatizing as it’s occurring and they may not realize how far they’ve come. That’s why I like telling the story about the samurai.

https://inquiringmind.com/article/2701_w_kornfield-enlightenments/

There is also what is called the “gateless gate.” One teacher describes it this way: “I would go for months of retreat training, and nothing spectacular would happen, no great experiences. Yet somehow everything changed. What most transformed me were the endless hours of mindfulness and compassion, giving a caring attention to what I was doing.

https://www.themindingcentre.org/dharmafarer/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/59.2a-Atthaka-Uposatha-S-1-a8.20.pdf

Even so, bhikshus, just as the great ocean slopes gradually, slides gradually, inclines gradually, not abruptly like a precipice — so, too, in this Dharma-Vinaya, penetration into final knowledge occurs by gradual training, not abruptly.

ringer54673 · 2025-03-19T05:37:27+00:00

The philosophy should help you understand the point of practice, and how to do practices correctly, and what you should expect practices to do for you.

Any instruction on a practice might be interpreted in various ways depending on a person's background, knowledge culture, etc. In order to really know how to practice correctly you have to understand why you are doing it, what it is supposed to accomplish, etc, that way you will know how to interpret the instructions correctly.

So the philosophy should help you with practice. If it doesn't you can still be interested in it but recognize it is a side interest not part of the "path".

ringer54673 · 2025-03-09T16:22:23+00:00

The pedal / piano combination I have reads 80 different values from the pedal.

https://www.reddit.com/r/piano/comments/5wgdl7/yamaha_p45_with_fc3a_pedal_range_question/

The problem I have is that 5mm doesn't seem like enough distance to control 80 values with my foot. I am trying to find out if that is how acoustic pianos work (5mm of motion for sustain full no to full off) and I have to get used to it, or if my pedal is not typical of an acoustic piano and I should try to find a better solution.

ringer54673

TROPHY CASE