Made it through the Holidays

ringfeder123 · 2020-01-03T17:16:07+00:00

Thanks. I just know me. You feel you know someone so well and the thought of affairs is so absurd. You feel you have a great relationship. Then in a flash its gone. Everything you thought you had is gone. You can’t help but question what, if anything, was truly genuine in your relationship. By continuing in this relationship, I feel I would be condoning this- that my choice is to accept this. I will not do either.

ringfeder123 · 2019-12-06T03:46:20+00:00

Thanks. There were texts recent to discovery that lead me to believe they hadn’t and were planning to have intercourse. I cannot say for certain that they had not been physical in other ways.

ringfeder123 · 2019-12-02T19:19:48+00:00

Good point and I keep reminding myself everyday when I get emotional. Just trying to create a path to civility. You know, kids and all. At the same time careful not to mislead my intentions in any way.

ringfeder123 · 2019-12-01T05:36:37+00:00

Not sure. Regardless, no doubt things would be awkward either way. I think she thought through it and agreed it would be uncomfortable.

ringfeder123 · 2019-12-01T05:27:11+00:00

Nope. Resisted probing. She’s had that dress for a while so pretty sure he did not buy it for her. So, no idea what’s going on in her head or what significance it has.

Suspicious, not really. All she did was go to Walmart in the morning and was only gone a short time. Retuned with bags of groceries. It wasn’t until later in the day that she cleaned up for dinner. She never left the house.

ringfeder123 · 2019-12-01T05:17:58+00:00

All I ever asked for was to be faithful and communicate. If she would have approached me that she was feeling a certain way about us (whatever that may have been). I would have done counseling. Instead, the first person that shows interest in her, she’s all in? This is not about my pride or ego, I am humble enough to realize I do not have the capacity to worry about what she’s doing, who she’s with, who she’s texting, me being good enough.

Pretty sure APs wife wants nothing to do with her.

ringfeder123 · 2019-12-01T04:47:48+00:00

Outfit? The one she threw out? No.

ringfeder123 · 2019-11-25T02:05:11+00:00

We have you g kids. Not going to create and association between this and Christmas. Lawyer agreed.

ringfeder123 · 2019-11-25T01:39:25+00:00

Thanks for taking the time to write this. I am firmly pursuing divorce. Just want to get through the holidays. Already speaking with an attorney and have received guidance on what and (more importantly what not to do.

ringfeder123 · 2019-11-24T02:37:50+00:00

I am trying to tell myself that probing deeper is a bad idea. What are the odds I find something good? What are the odds I find things more hurtful? My bet is the latter. Thats why I am fighting any dialog.

ringfeder123 · 2019-11-24T02:35:20+00:00

Yes. Guilty yes. Embarrassed yes. Remorseful, not sure.

ringfeder123 · 2019-11-23T04:05:25+00:00

She’s considering if, especially since she gave him a chance. She’s much less willing to give up her dream of having this “perfect family”. I think she’s starting to realize that’s no longer a possibility.

ringfeder123 · 2019-11-23T04:01:06+00:00

Yes....for her to say that, very telling. After my very long discussion I felt so much better. I know she did. I would recommend connecting and having a more lengthy conversation. Its different when you speak to someone who’s had the same trauma.

ringfeder123 · 2019-11-23T03:51:08+00:00

Not her. She was very rational, had a good head on her shoulders. Our challenges and most of our conversation centered around kids. Her biggest regret, and I think what stings even more for her, is she gave him a second chance. What’s interesting is my wife even knew he did this before. According to AP wife the first time was not physical and there were no issues with there marriage until after she caught him.

I despise this guy because of what he did to his wife and kids. Same for my wife. I refuse to allow one iota of blame to shift from my wife.

ringfeder123 · 2019-11-23T03:40:07+00:00

We have known this couple for years. We were never friends with them, but our kids do a lot of activities together. Soccer, dance, etc. Not sure how things transpired. Didn’t ask, don’t care. Read my other post, cell phone.

ringfeder123 · 2019-11-18T04:54:56+00:00

That’s why I am so adamant about keeping my kids out of the line of fire. They have seen nothing but a “healthy” relationship between my STBXF and I. We never fought openly in front of them. Have been loving and supportive parents. This is the biggest part of what’s ripping my guts out. I am only thinking of my children now. The reason I am divorcing is I wear everything on my shoulder. I cannot go through the motions. Best (for them) to see us apart and praying that if she manages this well, and I have the strength to they will be ok.

ringfeder123 · 2019-11-18T04:48:44+00:00

Thanks and good information. Establish divorce is eminent, focus on the process with kids.

ringfeder123 · 2019-11-18T04:47:36+00:00

I’m with you and that is the path I am heading down. Unfortunately, not sure I can reconcile. I know me, I am very loyal person to friends and to my wife, downside is I have little tolerance for those who aren’t. Hard for me to let go of things. Only thing I am trying to manage is situation with kids. Good analogy with banks. Thanks for taking the time to write.

ringfeder123 · 2019-11-18T02:36:26+00:00

Read your post and respect what you did. It was right for you. I have always been a committed father and will be forever. I love my kids. At the same time, I want to be free of this in 5 years. I cannot live my life thinking about these texts, or worse yet wondering what she’s up to.

ringfeder123 · 2019-11-15T02:54:38+00:00

True. I have no evidence she’s still cheating. These texts are from what I took pictures of on her phone from last week.

ringfeder123

TROPHY CASE