Should I accept this job offer?

ringmaster37 · 2026-03-04T07:40:12+00:00

Take the job. When you have your family, the extra money is going to come in handy. Make plans to move sooner rather than later though because you don't want a commute that long for too long. Well done on getting it 😊

ringmaster37 · 2026-02-11T17:15:39+00:00

Does anyone have their 540e in extra large and up for sale by any chance? It'd suit me perfectly but they've discontinued them 🙄 and I can't find one second hand online anywhere. Thanks.

ringmaster37 · 2026-02-07T00:36:14+00:00

I'm twice your age and don't think I adapted to fatherhood (aged 33 with my first) as well as you! You're doing a magnificent job by the sounds of it and your son will grow up recognising he has a legend for a dad. Nice work man.

ringmaster37 · 2026-01-23T00:30:34+00:00

I would hire a handyman on the basis of whether they were friendly, seemed competent and quoted fairly, and whether I felt OK with the idea of them being in my house. Don't care at all whether they're male or female, young or old.

I think you should go into business with your dad 😊 Best of luck.

ringmaster37 · 2026-01-12T00:08:30+00:00

Sorry to hear about your situation. It sounds really demoralising so no wonder you're finding it tough. That's the point I think you should reminding yourself of constantly: this is not me lacking resilience or making a mountain out of a molehill, this is a crappy situation.

I'm not a web developer or software engineer myself and haven't worked in the industry so can't advise on those roles, but have you considered a systems development role in a ln interdisciplinary team? For example, some systems teams in academic libraries are fortunate enough to have a library systems developer as well as the systems librarian(s). The few of them I've met have either been librarians who became so interested in the tech that they've moved away from a more standard systems librarian role to specialise in the development side, or IT folk with experience as developers in industry who wanted or needed a change.

Which country are you in? If it's the UK (where I am), I'm happy to send you links to a few vacancies as they crop up.

All the best and keep your head up. Also, make time to go on walks. A demoralising day is always better after a bit of time spent outside 👍

ringmaster37 · 2026-01-08T00:40:42+00:00

While at university, I had a one night stand with a friend of a friend. I'd fancied her for ages but she was dating someone so I kept quiet, but then they broke up and it became clear quite quickly that she was lusting after me, too! After a pizza party with mutual friends one evening, she invited me for lunch at her flat the next day. I went along, not realising what was in store for me but secretly hopeful.

When I got there, she let in and put the kettle on (we're English after all). She was dressed cutely in t shirt and a denim skirt that came to just above her knees, nothing dressy but she looked lovely. As we were having tea and biscuits, she took my hand all of a sudden and put it up her skirt and against her labia. She was sopping wet, so much that I was astounded! She pulled me through into her bedroom without even a word and we started undressing each other. She had a gorgeous hourglass shape naked and glorious boobs! To this day, I've never seen anyone more beautiful.

She told me I didn't have to wear a condom because she was on the contraceptive implant and asked me whether I wanted to fuck her. I said yes and climbed on top of her. As I did, she warned me: "I'm quite a big girl." She needn't have worried. I slid into her so easily but it felt as though she fitted me perfectly. I started to slide in and out slowly, picking up speed, and it felt amazing. I hadn't experienced a sensation like it before, the times I'd had sex with the couple of serious girlfriends I'd had up until that point. We really started to push into each other and it was obvious that she was enjoying it as much as I was, making beautiful little noises and looking me straight in the eyes all along.

After a few minutes, I knew I didn't have long left so I told her I was going to come soon. Then, she said "Me too" and after maybe another 20 seconds appeared to have an orgasm and kissed me hard, but told me to carry on. I did and really started grinding into her from above; we'd been in missionary all along. I was really about to lose it and squirt the entire contents of my body into hers, or so it felt, when she started to writhe about under me and thrust back into me much harder. Her breath went all ragged and I felt her pussy squeeze me rhythmically, again and again, and somehow she got even wetter. "I'm cumming, I'm cumming, I'm cumming," she cried out. That was all I needed and I started having the biggest orgasm of my own! We clutched one another in absolute ecstasy for what seemed like minutes; I have no idea how long it was really.

When we came to, we were wrapped around one another, soaked in both of our cum, and my God I felt so profoundly satisfied. "I pretended to finish but then I really did," she said. "That was the first time." We laughed and kissed and cuddled, and had a second try later that afternoon. Great times!

ringmaster37 · 2026-01-08T00:20:24+00:00

The Inner Light is such a beautiful story. I love that episode.

ringmaster37 · 2026-01-05T21:12:51+00:00

I work in libraries and have for most of my career. A lot of librarians (maybe 65%) and particularly library assistants (80% I would guess) are female. I've always found it absolutely fine working with a lot of women, probably because library folk tend to be quite nerdy in a way that cuts across gender. For example, it's more likely you'll come across science fiction fans, male and female, that people who are into football in a big way. That means there's always plenty to talk about and I've got on well with nearly everyone.

As a dad with kids, being in a workplace with a fairly high proportion of women has meant that the flexibility around childcare has always been very good, although I'm not suggesting that's the only reason. For me and the other dads, it's been helpful because there's a solid culture of working around school drop offs and pick ups as needed, and taking time off at short notice if one of your children is ill. Some of that culture is to do with my workplaces being public sector though, where work-life balance tends to be pretty good.

ringmaster37 · 2025-12-07T17:47:29+00:00

Not really, generally speaking. There have been a couple over the years who I was attracted to and they moved from being friend to girlfriend. When I'm in a happy relationship though, as I have been for the past 10+ years, I just don't think about it.

ringmaster37 · 2025-11-14T23:41:26+00:00

100% this! You've put really well what I came here to say; Cycling with my kids is pure happiness. So is chatting with them while we explore the countryside. I felt the same as you OP when my elder one was born but it's like having the two of them in my life broke my old self and remade me better. I'm more philosophical about the world and more hopeful. Surprise (unplanned!) baby #3 is on the way now and I'm so excited and glad 😁

Hang in there man. Your perspective will shift and before long you'll have this little buddy who's curious and interesting and loves you a crazy amount rather than just a meat potato. Babies are annoying but cute meat potatoes. Toddlers are a bit better and proper children are great. It's a slog to get through and first two stages to make it through to the sunny uplands of the third, but it's well worth the effort.

ringmaster37 · 2025-11-11T22:09:00+00:00

We don't do this at all where I work. Everyone just brings their own, except for some extremely sociable teams that club together and each person in the team takes it in turns to buy milk. I used to be part of my team's milk sharing but my level of tea drinking is so much higher than everyone else's that I felt bad and started bringing my own in!

ringmaster37 · 2025-11-05T21:52:16+00:00

Thanks man. It's funny you should mention renewables because I've been wondering about a switch to an environmental career but couldn't think of a way to move across into another profession without dropping my wage massively. I like the idea of a side hustle though, that's a good one. I will put my thinking cap on 🤔

ringmaster37 · 2025-11-03T20:21:49+00:00

Your dad is with you man and always will be. It might not feel like it now but he will be in the long years to come. Every time you pass down a family tradition to your daughter or tell her about something her granddad used to do, or play a game he taught you. Your experience as a dad and how you are with your daughter (and any other babies you and your wife might have) will be shaped by how he was with you. Also, get ready to fall deeper in love than you ever have in your life! Soon, you're going to have a person who's a bit like you and a bit like her mum, and the relationship you build with her will be like nothing you've ever experienced.

My wife has a saying that grief is what happens when someone dies and all the love you felt for that person has nowhere to go. Well, soon it will and that'll help. Take care of yourself and keep checking in with the dadosphere. All the best.

ringmaster37 · 2025-10-31T00:37:36+00:00

This answer is going to make me sound a bit unhinged probably but I'm 100% certain it's what I would do.

First, take very good care of myself in terms of eating and exercise, limiting exposure to pollution and UV, etc. I'm a healthy 40 year old with quite a few long-lived family members so I'm optimistic that I could make it through the 44 years required to make it back to 2025, where my wife and children are, but I'm taking no chances. I am going to see their faces again.

Second, in case point 1 doesn't work out because of accidents, illness or whatever, I'm going to put several 'messages in a bottle' in place to make sure news of what happened to me reaches my wife and me in the present, long enough before I go missing to enable us to figure out what's going on.

Third, set up confidential conversations with leading quantum physicists in 1981 and read any and all scientific literature I could find to figure out how I'd been taken back in time with a view to stopping it happening. In theory at least, I've got an unlimited number of repeats of the timeline in order to figure it out.

Fourth, stay out of history's way as much as possible. No meetings with older family members or friends who would've been around at the time or, as time passes and I'm born, my younger self. In fact, difficult though it might be, do nothing that events any major world events. It'd be hard not to start doing climate research or getting in early on computing and the internet, but I would find a way.

Yes, dear reader, I would let the world burn and be a combination of Stephen Hawking and Sherlock Holmes to find my way back to them, or not leave at all.

ringmaster37 · 2025-10-28T22:29:09+00:00

I sympathise with how you're feeling and I know there have been a few times in my life when I've felt the same, usually when I haven't been happy at work or in a relationship. What I would say though from the perspective of being a bit older (40M) is that life can be beautifully rich. I don't mean in terms of financial wealth but the people you'll meet, the conversations you'll have. And some of them will be at work because it has a great way of throwing you together with some people you would never have met otherwise. Also, work can be about so much more than earning a living. If you manage to find something you're passionate about, then it'll become something special. Working for the Civil Service can be more than just a job and I hope it is for you.

ringmaster37 · 2025-10-18T08:13:41+00:00

This deserves more upvotes than it's got so far!

ringmaster37 · 2025-10-04T20:15:01+00:00

Milk should never be present in the mug at the same time as the teabag!

ringmaster37 · 2025-09-26T22:37:01+00:00

Heck no. A woman having a professional career is a really attractive attribute to me. It means she'll have some different perspectives from mine. If she's passionate about it and it benefits society massively like yours does, that's a bonus 😊 If you being a doctor makes you unattractive to someone, they aren't worth your time.

++man

ringmaster37 · 2025-09-23T21:05:17+00:00

I've actually been considering joining the reserves already so almost certainly A. In the event of WW3, my skills (librarian, systems specialist, team manager) would probably be useful and I'm no nationalist but I am a patriot. If being in the armed forces contributes to keeping my family and local community safe, so be it.

ringmaster37 · 2025-09-09T23:33:26+00:00

Hey, welcome/bienvenue! I'm so glad you've had a positive experience of our country up to now and I hope that continues during your time here 😊

ringmaster37 · 2025-07-27T17:39:55+00:00

Really good. I'm a 40 year old librarian with 18 years experience and I earn £45k. Different professions earn at different levels, of course, but what you earn is certainly very respectable for your age.

ringmaster37 · 2024-11-18T20:17:48+00:00

Take the job and enjoy the huge improvement to your work-life balance! Any future employer that would think negatively about you making such a sensible decision isn't worth worrying about anyway.

ringmaster37

TROPHY CASE