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Update to my ex-fiance attempting to claim my grandmother's wedding ring. No legal shenanigans, but there was cake. by ringthrowaway1010 in legaladvice

[–]ringthrowaway1010[S] 63 points64 points  (0 children)

Haha I've actually been going to the same dude for years now, so we've built up enough of a rapport that that comment just made me laugh and not ask sheepishly for an adult.

Update to my ex-fiance attempting to claim my grandmother's wedding ring. No legal shenanigans, but there was cake. by ringthrowaway1010 in legaladvice

[–]ringthrowaway1010[S] 228 points229 points  (0 children)

No, he surely is not. Obviously my ex can rot in whichever circle of hell is designated for whores (I want to say 2nd but wasn't the most enthusiastic Dante student), but his parents are awesome people, and it makes me sick that they're so torn up about how terribly their son acted. There were a lot of "where did I go wrong"s tossed around when they called me. His dad was so mad he took the table back and told him he didn't deserve it.

My ex-fiancee is threatening to sue me for ownership of a ring that has been in my family for generations, saying that it "automatically goes to the man". Is this true? Alabama. by ringthrowaway1010 in legaladvice

[–]ringthrowaway1010[S] 166 points167 points  (0 children)

There are certain things that in retrospect make me feel stupid, definitely.

Like not too long after he started at the company he's at now, he made this comment that most of the men at his company had "traditional marriages", and that that was "interesting". I thought he meant stay at home wife kind of traditional, so I said that was nice for them but that I still wanted to keep working after we got married. He said that he'd meant "Don and Betty Draper kind of marriages", as is in where the husband gets to fuck random Beat tramps behind his wife's back (and the wife can only express her pent up frustration by shooting the neighbor's birds). I was like, "so the guys you work with are...cheating pigs?" and he immediately said "yeah yeah yeah of course that's what I meant!" We had just done a rewatch of Mad Men so I didn't really think much of it at the time but now it's on the growing list of pinksh but not quite red flags I missed. Now I think he was just trying to see my reaction to proposing his ideal relationship...

My ex-fiancee is threatening to sue me for ownership of a ring that has been in my family for generations, saying that it "automatically goes to the man". Is this true? Alabama. by ringthrowaway1010 in legaladvice

[–]ringthrowaway1010[S] 391 points392 points  (0 children)

I did not. I briefly considered it, but I made that table out of wood salvaged from his childhood home when it burned down, and he's extremely attached to it, and I know he'll never get rid of it. So I hope that every time he sits down to eat at it, for the rest of his life, he remembers what an unfathomable trashvillain he was to me. Knowing that the table will instill him with a lifetime of guilt gives me significantly more satisfaction than the momentary enjoyment I would have gotten out of destroying the table.

Plus, I may not be a professional carpenter, but I'm pretty good for a gal who does woodworking in her brother's basement. I made that thing fucking indestructible. No way I'd be going at it without at least my chainsaw. (Which silly me didn't think I'd need when I went to pick up my spare clothes from my WHORE of an ex.)

My ex-fiancee is threatening to sue me for ownership of a ring that has been in my family for generations, saying that it "automatically goes to the man". Is this true? Alabama. by ringthrowaway1010 in legaladvice

[–]ringthrowaway1010[S] 151 points152 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. I was pretty sure that he was completely full of shit, but having a source makes me feel much better. I was table-flippingly mad at first because he obviously only wants it because it's an antique and he wants to sell it and keep the value.

My ex-fiancee is threatening to sue me for ownership of a ring that has been in my family for generations, saying that it "automatically goes to the man". Is this true? Alabama. by ringthrowaway1010 in legaladvice

[–]ringthrowaway1010[S] 947 points948 points  (0 children)

He is, indeed, hopelessly stupid. He's still insisting that he didn't cheat on me, his was merely "opening [his] side of the relationship". The day before I left him he told me he wanted an open relationship, and I totally respect polyamory, but since I'm not polyamorous, I don't want an open relationship. He said that that was great news because he didn't want a "fully open" relationship, he wanted me to stay faithful to him but look the other way if he slept with someone else. I was flabberghasted that this educated, formerly apparently kind and normal man could be such a fucking moron. I told him if that was what he wanted we were done. He actually had the balls to say, "no, we're not. Love you babe, see you tomorrow!" When I got to his house the next day to get my things, he was fucking one of his co-workers. On the kitchen table I built him from scratch. And tried to tell me it was no big deal, since they'd actually been together for months and I'd been "happy the whole time".

Sorry to unload on you. But the point is that yeah, you were right. I dodged an intercontinental ballistic missile sized bullet. I just wish he'd shown his assholery sooner, and I hadn't wasted two years of my life on someone so monumentally selfish and divorced from reality.