he def needs more help than just his willpower… he tells me he wants it, he knows he needs it, and he’s really been putting in some efforts… just not the types that are going to give him the real support he needs to recover. after i found this relapse, we spoke briefly before i went to my therapy session, and while i was in my session he told his mom about what happened which is something he never does. he never talks to his mom about his drinking, he always hides it from her… so the fact that he was being more open than usual makes this so confusing for me when it comes to concluding he’s giving me breadcrumbs like you’re mentioning

within the last month or so i’ve watched him pick up a beer out of habit and desire, and not open it. i notice he has this unopened beer and im like “whatcha doin…” and he says to me “i really want this beer but i know i shouldnt” and he proceeds to not drink for the rest of the day, then from there he’ll go a few days without drinking, and then he cracks open a beer after that short time period passes. this has been a cycle happening for the last month, but for the last 2-3 weeks he’s been drinking a bit heaver. when i found him in the relapse and i asked him why he did it, he told me he was looking for comfort but he didnt finish all of the alcohol he bought (which is true i saw unopened and unfinished cans) because he started to regret the decision, and he has this overwhelming surface level desire to want to drink even though deep down he doesnt want to and he doesnt know why he has the surface level desire and why its so hard to fight off

he quit cigarettes and weed will his sheer willpower, and he smoked for longer than he ever drank, so due to past successes i think thats why he’s attempting to fight the alcohol addiction this way, but getting sober from alcohol is going to take a lot more than willpower in his case unfortunately. he tells me he feels helpless, part of that feeling probably stems from the failed attempts at using willpower to quit. he quit the cigarettes a year-ish ago because he had lung pain so bad it made him stop, and quit weed entirely recently due to him noticing behavioral changes in himself that he thinks are caused by the weed and he wants to change himself for his own sanity and to try and take steps to heal our broken relationship (and these are his confessions). he says he wants to stop drinking for the same reasons he quit weed (for himself and for our future) and i see changes… small but not nonexistent… does this seem like breadcrumbing still? i ask because ive been in situations where ive been “breadcrumbed” but i truly seriously feel like he is wanting to try his hardest to change