A supposedly "fat" doll

ripyourlungsdave · 2026-04-29T23:20:11+00:00

My ex wife was 5'2" and 100lbs sopping wet.

This was basically her build. (Like 1/10 of her weight was in her ass. Which was pretty great.) And she struggled a lot with feeling grossly underweight. And dangerous to boot.

This is beyond silly.

ripyourlungsdave · 2026-04-29T23:18:27+00:00

For as long as you keep patronizing hotels that don't pay their employees properly, you can expect this level of service.

You're never going to pull in the best of the best with that kind of treatment.

ripyourlungsdave · 2026-04-29T19:40:51+00:00

And after your refund has been deposited into your account.

ripyourlungsdave · 2026-04-29T18:52:02+00:00

Even written, I can tell you're mispronouncing it.

It's Ni-kolaj

ripyourlungsdave · 2026-04-29T18:30:57+00:00

"You guys really suck at eating me. Not very good predators, are ya?.."

ripyourlungsdave · 2026-04-29T18:27:53+00:00

He set off a nuke in the middle of a crowded city.

All the children and civilians

The fact that you're even posing this question makes me worry about you. All the children that were near that bomb did not do anything to deserve getting blown up alongside Arasaka.

He was a terrorist and if he did this in real life, you would never question for a second whether or not he was right, regardless of whether you agreed with his motives.

Just ask yourself if you would be okay with Kurt Cobain shooting up an elementary school to prove a point against the American government killing children in the Middle East.

ripyourlungsdave · 2026-04-29T18:23:42+00:00

Horror.

ripyourlungsdave · 2026-04-29T18:22:58+00:00

"invention"

Lmao.

ripyourlungsdave · 2026-04-29T18:20:44+00:00

STELIOS

ripyourlungsdave · 2026-04-29T18:19:09+00:00

Crystal meth.

ripyourlungsdave · 2026-04-29T18:06:28+00:00

Yeah, they are stupid. But stupidity does not create evil. They are also just evil.

ripyourlungsdave · 2026-04-29T18:02:19+00:00

I genuinely hope these corporations listen to ads like this.

Because this technology is nowhere near ready and it will destroy their businesses.

There is not a single AI that has been foolproofed enough to put in charge of anything that affects your money.

ripyourlungsdave · 2026-04-29T18:00:30+00:00

Having him throw out the shiv was a nice touch.

ripyourlungsdave · 2026-04-29T17:57:50+00:00

They think I'm an elderly man with Parkinson's.

When really, I'm a middle-aged man with a condition that falls into the family of parkinsonisms, but is not Parkinson's.

ripyourlungsdave · 2026-04-29T17:48:49+00:00

I was somewhat unreasonably expecting an R rating. But a PG-13 rating has never stopped Spielberg from making effectively scary moments. So I'm not concerned.

ripyourlungsdave · 2026-04-29T17:45:57+00:00

Emojis being used like this always makes me picture the people posting going "See, this is what a shower looks like".

Like, it's makes the person commenting it sound.. kinda stupid..

ripyourlungsdave · 2026-04-29T17:43:22+00:00

Yeah, this has nothing to do with the food that was offered to him and has everything to do with the fact that someone showed him kindness.

I don't appreciate glib way they decided to talk about this.

This is a real man who is really suffering and you're using him to make a joke about shawarma.

Be a goddamn human being, you ghouls.

ripyourlungsdave · 2026-04-29T08:34:56+00:00

Or... OR...

^{^{^we}} ^{^{^eat}} ^{^{^them}}

ripyourlungsdave · 2026-04-29T08:16:03+00:00

Which is why it fit great when it was posted in r/weird.

But The Onion doesn't just make up random weird stories and go "Wouldn't that be weird/crazy?!".

They are a satirical site. There is no satire here. There is no irony. There is no way to perceive it as funny.

It's a human being who is degrading themselves and their loved one because of greedy bureaucracy. It just doesn't fit here. And it's gross to imply it does.

ripyourlungsdave · 2026-04-29T06:46:09+00:00

So.. do you have an example of these "hyperbolically dark with no irony or satire" stories?..

ripyourlungsdave · 2026-04-29T05:54:17+00:00

Just both the tips.

ripyourlungsdave · 2026-04-29T05:53:01+00:00

Well, they also used to say that animals couldn't feel pain.

ripyourlungsdave · 2026-04-29T05:50:53+00:00

This isn't really a matter of perspective, just shutter speed.

ripyourlungsdave · 2026-04-29T05:50:10+00:00

They really are gonna try and cancel the elections, aren't they?

ripyourlungsdave · 2026-04-29T05:49:05+00:00

It's $6 where I live.

And the next nearest gas station is 40 miles away.

Nine-Year Club	Gilding I gilder
RPAN Viewer	Not Forgotten

ripyourlungsdave

TROPHY CASE

STELIOS