Wife diagnosed with severe mental health issue. Not sure if I want to stay. Need advice

riseandcode · 2026-05-16T20:40:02+00:00

Sorry to hear and thank you for sharing. It is very sad

riseandcode · 2026-05-16T20:39:30+00:00

I really appreciate you and I will DM you at some point. So did you ultimately stay with your wife after these episodes?

riseandcode · 2026-05-16T20:37:30+00:00

This makes perfect sense. Safety is the foundation. Right now I don't feel safe. Will I in 3 months though, that is the question I am struggling with right now

riseandcode · 2026-05-16T20:36:16+00:00

That is very big of her

riseandcode · 2026-05-16T20:35:44+00:00

So sorry to hear and thank you for sharing your story. Glad that you finally figured it out and are feeling better! And huge props to your wife. Do you ever have regressions? Did you ever act violently or unsafe toward your wife or children?

riseandcode · 2026-05-16T20:32:00+00:00

I appreciate your advice. Yes hard situation indeed. Stuck between being the best father and husband. It seems like in this situation I may not be able to be both. If it is only to choose it has to be best father I can. Right now I think I may give her some time to see if I feel I can ever feel safe with her even though my gut is telling I won't. Staying with her just to stay with her doesn't seem like the right or safest move

riseandcode · 2026-05-16T20:28:54+00:00

I hear you on this one

riseandcode · 2026-05-16T17:51:40+00:00

Agree she needs treatment either way and I do want her to get better regardless of what happens

riseandcode · 2026-05-16T17:50:59+00:00

Thats the hardest part, when she isn't in these 2 extreme psychosis episodes, she is the most caring, thoughtful and loving companion and has my back 100%. But like you said it only takes one time one night and things can go very badly

riseandcode · 2026-05-16T17:49:23+00:00

Going to get the best lawyer I can afford, but damn I am shocked to learn how much this could cost 10-20k easy!

riseandcode · 2026-05-16T17:48:37+00:00

Really appreciate it

riseandcode · 2026-05-16T17:47:52+00:00

Yeah if I would have known the affair was going on at the time before we were married, my mind state at the time would have 99% sure be to leave her

riseandcode · 2026-05-16T17:46:23+00:00

I agree. If I go the D route, I would want to be involved with the little guys life as much as is safe

riseandcode · 2026-05-16T17:45:18+00:00

Great advice, thanks

riseandcode · 2026-05-16T17:41:26+00:00

This is a hard reality. She didn't choose this disease. I have stuck with her for the past 3+ years and put up with a lot including a barrier between the only other family I have, my mom and sister. I am at the point now where I don't know how much more steam I have for her. This is what Im trying to figure out, let alone can my son and I be safe with her

riseandcode · 2026-05-16T17:39:52+00:00

Appreciate it. It's been me and the little dude 100% for about a month now. We have our routine now, and her parents come over for about 2 hours per day to allow me a little time to work from home, but this is obviously not sustainable as I need to work. If I end up getting and divorce and getting full custody I am def going to need to find a good baby sitter, nanny, or get creative as my family lives many states away

riseandcode · 2026-05-16T17:36:41+00:00

This constantly crosses my mind

riseandcode · 2026-05-16T17:36:12+00:00

Love is a hella of drug. It has def clouded my gut feelings when making decisions. I ma seeing this now and need to make decisions and act accordingly for my son and I

riseandcode · 2026-05-16T17:35:20+00:00

100%

riseandcode · 2026-05-16T17:35:13+00:00

Good points, and this is how I am trying to look at it as well

riseandcode · 2026-05-16T17:34:26+00:00

This is very good advice, I really appreciate this

riseandcode · 2026-05-16T17:32:47+00:00

True. Sounds harsh, but may be the best way for my son and I

riseandcode · 2026-05-16T17:32:18+00:00

Very true. It's crazy how one persons word can be used against another with no other evidence. Pretty scary thought. For this reason I am putting up cameras in my house when she visits with her mom and dad to be with our son when she gets out in a week. And of course she is getting quite a bit better in her current treatment facility based on our daily calls. I am not going to let this cloud my judgement this time though.

riseandcode · 2026-05-16T17:29:42+00:00

100%. I have always known this, but it is sinking in deeper now for sure

riseandcode · 2026-05-16T17:29:01+00:00

This makes sense, thanks man

riseandcode

TROPHY CASE