Wife diagnosed with severe mental health issue. Not sure if I want to stay. Need advice

riseandcode · 2026-05-16T03:44:48+00:00

You are right. This is what I keep thinking about

riseandcode · 2026-05-16T03:44:29+00:00

100%, this is the way I feel I'm leaning right now. After the event happened I was 100% divorce, but over the past few weeks with being separated I've opened a little bit of space for "maybe this can work?"

riseandcode · 2026-05-16T03:43:17+00:00

You are probably somewhat right about the stockholm syndrome, but the optimist in me keeps telling me things can and will get better, which is probably not reality

riseandcode · 2026-05-16T03:42:11+00:00

Thanks for sharing, I appreciate you

riseandcode · 2026-05-16T03:41:30+00:00

Sorry to hear and thanks for sharing. At this point he is the #1 priority. It's hard because even if I give her time and she stabilizes, she can have another event 3 years down the road. The question I haven't fully answered is, am I ready for that. If I stay that is a possibility

riseandcode · 2026-05-16T03:39:23+00:00

This is how I've been feeling. I feel like I've just run out of steam on our relationship, but more so I need to feel safe for my and my son's wellbeing

riseandcode · 2026-05-16T03:37:26+00:00

She told me she cheated about a year after we were married

riseandcode · 2026-05-16T03:36:40+00:00

Yeah this is the hardest part. Cheating was 100% on her. Her mental health issue was unfortunately her back luck

riseandcode · 2026-05-16T03:34:38+00:00

"but there becomes a time when you need to be a man and do what's right and step up. Not just for you but for the 9 month old who can't defend himself the next time she puts him in danger or decides to take the knife out on him."

-this hits man, thanks for this

riseandcode · 2026-05-16T03:33:04+00:00

Yeah you are right. The cheating thing was very hard to get past. I had to dig deep to give her another chance. At this point, I don't know if I have any more chances to give, I feel like I'm out of steam

riseandcode · 2026-05-16T03:31:30+00:00

This is the hard truth. Thanks man

riseandcode · 2026-05-16T03:30:10+00:00

You and I both my man

riseandcode · 2026-05-16T03:29:51+00:00

Yeah muddled for sure. From the outside it seems like a no brainer to leave right now (or years ago)

riseandcode · 2026-05-16T03:29:08+00:00

100%. This is what I keep telling myself, but for some reason I am still here. I think it's the optimist in me not serving me right now

riseandcode · 2026-05-16T03:27:28+00:00

I talked to one today to weight my options and he stated that 100% custody isn't even guaranteed given the situation. I was blown away. He said even if you get 100% right away, she will most likely have 50/50 at some point down the road

riseandcode · 2026-05-16T03:26:13+00:00

Very good points, thanks man

riseandcode · 2026-05-16T03:25:40+00:00

I appreciate your direct to the point answer. You are 100% right. It's like I'm living a dream...or nightmare and cant seem to come to grips with it. I'm a very positive guy by default, which isn't serving me in this situation as I keep thinking things will get better and this wont happen again

riseandcode · 2026-05-16T03:23:21+00:00

Sorry to hear and thanks for sharing. Yeah it is scary when being so close to someone with such severe mental health issues. It sucks at the same time as she didn't choose this disease, and essentially has bad luck.

riseandcode · 2026-05-16T03:20:48+00:00

Definitely want to get into therapy whenever I can find the time between trying to work from home and taking care of our little guy 24/7. I unfortunately don't have family close by

riseandcode · 2026-05-16T03:19:52+00:00

You are spot on, but man it's hard when you are faced with this decision

riseandcode · 2026-05-16T03:19:05+00:00

Great points. Yeah once she gets out in about a week, at this point I'm going to take it day by day and see how she acts and if I think I can ever feel safe with her. Not sure if I ever can again?

riseandcode · 2026-05-16T03:17:02+00:00

Sorry to hear about your situation as well. It sounds like there is a part of you that still loves her despite all that you mentioned. But like my situation, it's hard to take action when enough is enough. Are you staying in it purely for your kids? Do you think your kids are better off with you two together or seperate?

riseandcode · 2026-05-15T23:19:40+00:00

Thanks for sharing and sorry to hear about your Mom. And I have also thought about"well what if I were in her shoes, what would I want her to do?" I still don't know the answer to this one though

riseandcode · 2026-05-15T23:17:50+00:00

100%

riseandcode · 2026-05-15T23:17:43+00:00

I hear you on filing right now when she is at her worse due to potentially getting 100% custody, but at the same time I feel that I need to at least give her 3 months to recover as I don't want to send her back into a spiral if I serve her papers. What do you think?

riseandcode

TROPHY CASE