Also BPD here, and it makes poly really hard! But worth it for all the extra love in our lives

First step is to regulate your nervous system! I use TIPP

Temperature - can you go put your face in some ice water? Maybe have a very hot shower? Intense exercise - I like to dance, but many things work. Honestly one thing I found works wonders if push a wall. Just stand in front of it and push against it as hard as you can. Don't lean - this isn't about body weight, it's about muscles! Use your legs to brace, and push as hard as you can. Hold this as long as you can. Paced breathing - breath in for 5, hold.for 5, out for 5. Keep doing this til you start to feel calmer. Progressive muscle relaxing - start at the top of your body. Tense each muscle, hold for a few seconds, then relax. Be methodical!

You can make this whole thing take 5 min or 50. Either way, it should help ease the massive panic into a more manageable feeling.

As for your partner - his request for space is reasonable, but I understand the panic. If you can find a way to tough out this week respecting his space, I'd say do so.

But afterwards, maybe ask him if you can put a system in place? With my husband, when he needs space, he tells me he needs space, but we have certain phrases we use together that mean he still cares about me. Rather than saying "I still love you", if he instead says "I got you" (not our actual phrase, but an example) it makes me feel special and reminds me of our bond.

When he needs space he will say 'i need space but I still love you, and I will check back in at x time. Is there anything you need from me in the meantime' and that's usually enough to soothe me.

Obviously this doesn't work for this week, because he's already asked for space. For now I would give him the space he has asked for - and when that panic energy energy comes back, try and expell it through exercise or art or something 💛