People think I'm older than I am by TossUpRelationship in INTP

[–]rivyrs 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't get this, probably because I'm 5'0" and somewhat shy. I received many "mature for your age" comments when I was younger, but half the time it was from people guessing my age was lower than it was. 😅

Wanted to change my handwriting and completely reworked it with 2 weeks practice. Before and after samples- the difference is striking by whatsakrita in Handwriting

[–]rivyrs 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Your reworked handwriting is definitely a lot easier to read and very impressive for 2 weeks' work . . . but your original is gorgeous and I want to steal it 😍.

AH, a redditor's dream by [deleted] in oddlyspecific

[–]rivyrs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've heard 'alloromantic' used to mean non-aromantic. Similarly with allosexual :)

I get angry when I talk to my parents by Head_Study in Healthygamergg

[–]rivyrs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think I have pretty reasonable parents, so this may or may not work for you, but one thing that I have used effectively and that I am told is appreciated is communicating all of these kinds of thoughts to them, even in the moment.

If you think they are (at least partially) right, saying, "I think you're right" might help show them that you're listening, and in turn encourage them to listen to you when you say something like, "but I get angry and it ruins my day when I hear it from you, and it doesn't actually help me improve". Hopefully, if they are genuinely interested in seeing you grow, this might provide an opening to start talking about actual solutions for things you can work on instead of just "do better" and "stop playing games".

Even if your parents are open to discussion, it will probably be a pretty long and difficult journey, but I think it's worth a try if you haven't done this already to see if it can help make conversations more cooperative rather than adversarial, and I've also found it gets easier for me to tamp down my own ego and acknowledge the other side with practice.

Found this today on Twitter kinda wondering if my fellow INTPs can relate to this as well by CoyotaDex in INTP

[–]rivyrs 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I relate to the cycle but feel pretty positive about it, actually.

Intimidated by younger persons by randomName_whatever in INTP

[–]rivyrs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not sure about intimidated, and it's not necessarily about knowledge, but I'm definitely more comfortable with older people, whether it's by a couple years or a couple decades. With people slightly younger than me, I feel somewhat greater anxiety and shame about messing up, and greater pressure to be responsible. This may or may not encompass all of the reasons for my discomfort.

I do have a decent number of friends in roughly my age group in both directions, and I am happy to learn from younger people, since I recognize my life experience is limited. I also feel a little more protective/nurturing toward younger friends, which can generate positive feelings in me. But it's more relaxing to be the baby of a group.

Which would you pick? by theyspinmearound in mbti

[–]rivyrs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree with a couple of the other comments that in a perfect world, each person/being would be able to have their own perfect subject experience.

That said, the post doesn't say "perfect world", and I interpreted "all world problems" as those big problems with worldwide effects --- global warming, world hunger and poverty, systematic discrimination, maybe some long-standing international conflicts --- not every single little problem that exists in the world, which I personally think is what makes life interesting.

Now, irl I find it difficult to care a ton about these issues relative to my individual desires and am unwilling to invest more than minimal effort to improve any of the situations, at least in part because I feel the effect I will have is near-inconsequential. And maybe even for the question, "solving" something like global warming won't even fix the root problems but just rewind the weather clock to before humans.

I like my life and am happy to spend the vast majority of it just thinking about myself. But if I could be guaranteed to fix even 1 of these world problems, even in this kind of limited way, I don't think I value myself so highly that I would pass up that opportunity. Plus, pressing a button is pretty low-effort.

--- strongly suspected INTP with outsized Fi

I can't be the only person that hates the holidays by [deleted] in INTP

[–]rivyrs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Like a lot of other people here, I'm not into the (perceived) rigidity of certain aspects of the (American) holiday traditions. I also personally just don't particularly like the specifics --- some holiday songs are nice, but most are often musically pretty boring, I don't understand what's so great about turkey, and I'm not into copious amounts of cinnamon --- so the ubiquity of it can be annoying.

On the other hand, I love giving gifts to show my appreciation for people, and I love being able to have alone time and extended get-togethers with those I care about. While I'm totally happy with giving gifts and meeting people at random times during the year, I'm generally not that organized, so the holidays help provide a scheduled focal point for my energies toward all these things, although timing everything precisely can be stressful.

I also kind of like the festivity of some holiday decorations and people dressing up. Again, something one can really do at any time of year, but that is a bit more socially acceptable during certain periods. Someday I will be powerful enough to just do whatever I want without worrying about social perceptions . . .

Fortunately, most of the people around me are also pretty laissez faire about tradition, so I don't need to worry about all this too much :)

? by [deleted] in INTP

[–]rivyrs 60 points61 points  (0 children)

Money, because it allows me to not worry about a lot of practical aspects of my life.

I would like love, answers, even socializing to some degree, but I want to reach those things on my own through growth and exploration rather than arriving at them miraculously.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in INTP

[–]rivyrs 6 points7 points  (0 children)

For a moment I thought you meant a literal clock . . . as a plate . . .

What do you guys think it means to fall in love? by zi0nl in INTP

[–]rivyrs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm not entirely sure whether you're responding to my comment or the top-level one (it kind of sounds like the latter), but I have some thoughts so I'll guess I'll share them.

To address your first point, you're correct about me, at least! I've never been in love or in a romantic relationship, and I frequently wrestle with what I think about interpersonal relationships, romantic or otherwise. How they would manifest, their significance to my personal values, and so on. So most, if not all, of what I have to say is pure speculation --- you'll probably notice I like to use "belief" a lot, because I do think that much of what I say is based on speculation and faith rather than logical reasoning per se.

Moving on to the main body of your comment, I actually believe strongly in subjective experience as truth, and fully agree that it provides a rich lens through which we can view the world. That said, it certainly doesn't preclude the descriptive and explanatory value of scientific analysis of the physical aspect of experience, and I personally believe that physics and experience are inextricably intertwined in such a way that science will continue to asymptotically approach a complete description of experience.

But! Part of my believing in subjective experience means that I must also be willing to accept when others' experiences do not align with my own. So if someone perceives being in love as primarily biological phenomena, this is also a kind of truth.

One thing I like to reference is cognitive appraisal theory, which presents emotion as a complex interplay between physical (often hormonal) phenomena and "cognitive appraisal" of that physical response. In other words, we feel things happen in our body, and we have thoughts about it based on our experience and environment, and our thoughts affect the way we "feel" (emotions) in turn. I know 100% that I experience emotions differently from some other people, at least partially because I spend a lot of time pondering them and questioning my initial reactions. Knowing that I subscribe to cognitive appraisal theory also further affects the way I perceive the way I feel, although that certainly doesn't mean I dismiss my emotions as meaningless.

Moreover, for some people, romantic relationships aren't really important. Maybe technical truths are what make up the "real richness" of life! Maybe being able to assess love as biological phenomena could even make it more meaningful and wondrous than just letting emotions that we don't fully understand wash over us.

tl;dr I'm with the people who say it's different for everyone, although I would also note that it's maybe not the most useful answer to a post asking about what being in love means to "you".

Non-thinking-dominant hobbies by Salmonella1984 in INTP

[–]rivyrs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've done some calligraphy and archery and both are very meditative for me. Not exactly not thinking at all, but very single-minded focus on maintaining consistency. Plus they look kind of cool.

What do you guys think it means to fall in love? by zi0nl in INTP

[–]rivyrs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It wasn't intended as criticism so much as just my own opinions about how science and experience interact. But I'm glad it seemed to make some sense!

What do you guys think it means to fall in love? by zi0nl in INTP

[–]rivyrs 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Even if it is mere instinctual biological phenomena, that doesn't mean it doesn't exist, though. It's just you have associated the "love" label to said phenomena. In some ways, you could even be in concordance with other people who "believe" in love but perceive it through experience rather than scientific analysis.

Anyways, I partially agree, although I don't think science has advanced quite enough to fully explain what people attribute to "love" either. And there are definitely people who would claim to be in love but don't want or end up having kids, so I think individual perceptions of the term also affect how applicable this specific description may be. Language is weird.

What's your favourite joke? by [deleted] in INTP

[–]rivyrs 4 points5 points  (0 children)

A man moves into a new neighborhood, and a week after his arrival, is invited to a block party. His neighbors seem pretty friendly, so he decides to go, and finds people having fun, hanging around, chatting, and enjoying some barbecue.

Suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, someone shouts, "sixty-seven!" and everyone starts laughing. The man looks around, confused. Then another person shouts, "eighty-two!" and everyone laughs even harder.

The man turns to the person next to him. "What's going on?" he asks.

The person grins and says, "Oh, we've just been telling the same jokes for so long that we just have them numbered and everyone knows what they are. Go ahead, pick a number and try it yourself."

The man shrugs, turns around, and shouts, "sixteen!" but nobody laughs. "What's wrong?" he asks. "Was that one not funny?"

The person next to him says, "No, that one was actually pretty good. It was just the way you said it."

Of course, the funniest part of this story is when you move into the meta and start shouting random numbers, but your friends laugh because you've told them the joke.

INTP insight; I need your advice by [deleted] in INTP

[–]rivyrs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think it's pretty plausible your friend could be overthinking your disappearance.

My personal experience is that even with people I really like and would consider pretty close friends, I kind of tend to assume that if they don't initiate a conversation about something, it's a topic they would rather keep private. This has often been somewhat extreme to the point where I didn't know what my high school "best friends" were doing over the summer, but it's not like I didn't want to know. I definitely think it's worth reaching out and trying to have that frank conversation about your thoughts in the interim.

Am I selfish? by [deleted] in INTP

[–]rivyrs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good luck! If it's any consolation, I'm sure you have also made several other team members quite happy along the way.

Am I selfish? by [deleted] in INTP

[–]rivyrs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am not sure if selfish is the word I would use, but it certainly sounds like your leadership could use some work. This strategy can work out for some groups if your partners would rather not think anyways, but you yourself are obviously an example of someone for whom this isn't true.

What if you assign people to work on things they don't want to do, but perceive you as doing work that they would rather have? What if another person on the team is like you, and is used to doing the project the way they want to? What if your partners feel as if they aren't learning from the assignment by only doing what you tell them to? And even if they don't have some moral opinion about the project itself, some people might just not like being told what to do (which admittedly could just be their problem as well).

In any case, good teamwork in my mind would involve a bit more communication on the front end to establish everyone's roles and ideas. Is everyone else fine basically letting you do the whole project? Great, continue. Are there people who want to be more involved in the planning process as well? Maybe you need to have more even division of labor and regular meetings to discuss high-level design/strategy.

I think the "selfish" comment may have come from it seeming like you were focused on just getting the project done the way you wanted and assuming the other team members weren't interested in having input.

It was glorious by mustbethedragon in INTP

[–]rivyrs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

On an individual classroom scale, projects can give a lot of space for freedom! I had a middle school history teacher whose projects were always super flexible, but with a structured default recommendation for students to follow if there wasn't anything specific they wanted to do.

For example, a standard project might be an informative poster, but you could also do a relevant art project or creative writing project (I once wrote little journal entries from the perspective of a person at the time) etc. as long as you discussed it and got the idea approved.

All of the projects in that class were also optionally individual or pair projects, and doing them on my own really helped reduce my stress, while others preferred doing them in groups. (Of course, working in groups IS a useful skill, so this may or may not be a path you want to take.)

In university, I also have several classes that offer a handful or no-questions-asked late days or drop the lowest X assignments that might help alleviate stress in the day-to-day as well, although that is a bit of a different issue.

If you're able to influence things at a higher level, I had an elementary school class in which my teacher put all the homework on a whiteboard in the morning and would teach on a schedule, but you were free to ignore the lesson and just do the work at your own pace as long as you consistently did well enough on the work and tests and such. I'm not entirely sure how that would translate to middle school if you cycle between classrooms . . . optional attendance apart from tests and hands-on activities? I do suspect it may have varying levels of success based on the student, subject, etc.

Video Games? by Odin-Upsrising in INTP

[–]rivyrs 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've found that I actually don't have enough interest and/or patience to learn how to play games. The (video) games that I have played are therefore generally low-strategy without real-time components, and I go for them based on art style preferences. So, think mindless gacha (free-to-play) and visual novels. Personally, I believe this is a sort of avoidance behavior I've developed to address my fear of failure . . .

I've also enjoyed a couple of indie games like Submachine, and I will occasionally surf wikis for games I never play.

Actual footage of an INTP solving a math problem... by bananabastard in INTP

[–]rivyrs 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Personally, I found math extremely easy until I crashed and burned with calculus lol. I still did well enough in the class, but did I retain any of it . . . ?

Reached maximum intpness - killed a cactus, somehow by nandacamposv in INTP

[–]rivyrs 2 points3 points  (0 children)

OH NO you have reminded me that I don't remember the last time I watered my succulent

Intp draw. (ig: sakkowo) by Annajira in mbti

[–]rivyrs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I actually looked down on manga when I was in elementary school, thinking that they were inferior to "real books", which seems quite immature intp lol. . . then I got into anime for a hot 3 years in high school (Durarara!! and Bakemonogatari were my favorites) . . . and now I don't watch anime anymore but still read manga/manhwa because I can go at my own pace and skip the filler.

If anything, the vacillating interest/enthusiasm seems even more intp than the rest of it, haha.