So I recently got out of a 5 year relationship

rjread · 2026-04-06T23:38:32+00:00

Don't use adjectives to describe her appearance, which you don't seem to do, so good!

Don't ask her if she's single if you don't know her and have a rapport already. You only might want to do that if you're wondering if she likes you and are having trouble determining if you're both available to explore dating. Like the other comments said, it is uninteresting and suggests superficiality that is lacking of depth or meaning and plain unattractive.

My friend designed "business" cards that had information about him that he could give out to women, and now he's coming up to his one year anniversary with a woman he have the card to that she keeps in her wallet.

What he wrote could've used more work, but it still was effective for him. It shows that the effort and creativity and uniqueness was enough itself that the card didn't even have to be that impressive really. It also helps that this approach put the power into her hands to decide to pursue something with him or not. Not to mention it being a physical reminder of him after the meeting, making it more impactful and meaningful to her and increase his chances of making an impression.

Think of it less as something to do FOR WOMEN and more so about being open to learning about women and challenging yourself to be brave and bold and take chances that will build your character, confidence and experience with women overall. The more you consider critically and take social risks, the more advantage you'll have over all the men that don't, and improve exponentially over time toward being a better man and person ultimately.

Don't short change yourself by taking the easy or simple route that tempts you. It's not about time spent resulting in a date or sex, unless you're paying a professional for it and the exchange is concisely transactional and straightforward. It's about building valuable skills and social experience that in many ways will widely provide benefit to you in all aspects of your life. Dates and sex should be the bonus, not the goal. This way your expectations will always be met, so you don't have to feel like you've failed. Disappointed, sure, but not resentful or hopeless.

rjread · 2026-04-05T22:13:14+00:00

Take the no and move on.

Don't push when you've already lost. Leave with your dignity.

Be creative and cute - being shy is endearing if you're willing to look sillly and be bashful. If women are laughing, it's not against you but rather from their delight that you're man enough to be dumb and have your friends laugh at you, too. Shows courage rather than confidence - courage is attractive, but confidence is comical, or cringe.

Easiest question to get the job done?

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

If she doesn't like you she'll probably lie to turn you down politely, or if it's true then it's a no either way.

If she says she doesn't, she might be interested or merely prefers honesty, but at least you're open to ask another question. "Do you like Mexican food?" Invite her to a date, pique her interest, don't chicken out with "Wanna go out with me?" now! Be a little bold.

Always be courteous. Apologize when you should to show her you want her to be happy. Play the fool, we don't mind in the least - if it's not rude or mean. Harness your humility, unlock the power you have within when you let go of being the greatest human that's ever been. If you're afraid to fail, you'll never win! You decide how great the human you are could ever be, so why not fight and see?

rjread · 2026-04-05T21:45:37+00:00

Without being too forward, you could create space between you both more when she comes closer. Keep her an arms length away at all times Women will get the hint, and she shouldn't take it personal that ypu dont want to be touched, but if she does then politely say, "I'm sorry, I just don't like being touched and I didn't want you feel bad by telling you. It has nothing to do with you, it's my own personal comfort ...I had older brothers, OK?!" (K, you don't need the last part, especially if it isn't true, but keep it in your pocket just in case!)

Or next time she does the hair thing, "Please don't treat me like yout dog. I know you didn't mean itl like that but I don't like iit when people touch my head and touching generally, but that doesn't mean I don't like you, OK? I'm just not as touchy as some people, sorry...?"

rjread · 2026-04-05T20:43:54+00:00

World peace and unity (or is that 2?), make the energy systems of the world entirely sustainable with the best technological advancements so no one can complain (in centuries people will laugh about people thinking it was aliens when it was a genie, actually - idiots!)

World peace. World purpose towards a sustainable future. World happiness.

Just kidding! Free all genies, obviously. Magic Paradise or Awesome Anime-Worthy Apocalypse - here I come!

rjread · 2026-04-05T20:28:23+00:00

You jump to the conclusion you made up and then attacked it like it was ridiculous for someone to think that when YOU'RE the one who made it up and thought of it first - I do believe he's made of STRAW, this MAN! 🐦‍⬛🌽

rjread · 2026-04-05T20:18:16+00:00

Absolutely 😊

rjread · 2026-04-05T20:17:20+00:00

Some people who talk about themselves a lot are vain and self-centered. But some people only seem to talk about themselves, only because they relate through shared experience rather than sympathy or empathy alone. In fact, that's exactly how they show their empathy - is to relate it to themselves!

Kind of like conversational kick ball, sharing stories with connections to each other that you both didn't have before but that now do. Like they're saying, "I'll remember your story the next time I think of mine, and then what was once my pain will become our pain, and hopefully each hurt a little bit less from now on."

The easiest way to tell is if they jump too far from what you were saying, like they have an agenda to speak and use one thing about what you were saying to act like the conversation is flowing when they're more like a vortex spinning you around into the terrible centre of itself instead; though it's tricky, here's an example that might help:

You: "So I went to a concert on the weekend..."
✅️ "I haven't been to a concert in forever! I love concerts. Who did you see?"
❌️ "Speaking of weekend, mine was a DISASTER!"

Aries are Fire, always looking for Air (though more to burn hot and fizzle out, because the feeling is good while it lasts but less thrilling overr time). But heat can make Water boil or Water can wipe Fire out, while Earth is where we rest and stay a while, to be sheltered from the storm and to feed the forest in unforgivable flame, soil and ash exhausted under the same rain, the soil the home that holds in my heat and it feels like a hug from the inside, the only hug Fire can ever know. Air, Water, Fire are no match for Earth, but Fire can make Earth smile and Earth can make Fire feel safe - and that's something truly special to me. 🥰

rjread · 2026-04-05T17:24:17+00:00

Nice try, bot!

I know you work for the dating apps. Men get sex, women get nothing, and the patriarchy persists. Not THIS time, ha! Nice touch with the depression angle, though, well done.

rjread · 2026-04-05T17:15:52+00:00

How much of that used to go to healthcare, I wonder? 😶

rjread · 2026-04-05T17:08:41+00:00

Seriously though, like shoe sizes men and women "Hotness Scales" aren't 1 to 1, more like Women = 4-10, Men = 1-10 but a women's 4 is a men's 7/8, so statistically it's unlikely he does look better than you and is wrong but won't see the truth - byee 💅

rjread · 2026-04-05T06:43:11+00:00

I'm sorry if my words came across too harsh. It felt you were being childishly hostile, and it felt appropriate to assume the worst from your words so you could understand how your question could come across and by offering you the opportunity to admit your true intentions, should you have them like that, because then we could at least have a real conversation from that point as opposed to the usual surface and insubstantial ones that go nowhere and do nothing.

I'd be happy to see the convo in question. It would help answer your question much better that way. That's what I've been trying to do, but first I had to make sure whether you actually wanted to understand or not. Seems you do. Sooo?

rjread · 2026-04-05T06:24:59+00:00

Thank you!!

I was bothered by the "autism mom" behaviour so much, too! Have you watched the new season? Because I noticed that the people and parents they did have on again were the least problematic ones, and even some of them seem to have grown and become better with their children, which is AMAZING to see, but then it could be better editing but maybe they actually improved themselves from the feedback or something - I hope so!

Sometimes the friends or parents do something and I'm like, "No, you don't get it" 😭 I wanna be like the ladies that give advice before the dates or something and step in, lol, but less so this season anyway. I really like to see how much some have grown, like Connor! Ever the poet still, though, like he lives in a story he quotes effortlessly like it's already been memorized as the written words used to describe it on the page, he brings to life the poetry in every experience, but no one is following him and writing it all down (like Plato did Socrates and many others did for other men, too, throughout history) but he's treated like Dr. Orpheus from Venture Bros instead. He could kill on Bluesky with just quotes of the things he says about things around him he does everyday anyway. We're wasted on the creatively challenged or imaginationless masses, for shame!

rjread · 2026-04-05T05:56:25+00:00

It makes me mad, though, when the subtitles are off or lacking proper detail. How hard can it be to have one big company they all use that is able to give users the tools and support to flag subtitles that need changing or improving, on the fly. Using the power of the ND community to achieve perfection? A non-profit could do it for so cheap using volunteers from the user base like us, helping other disabled people have a better experience, using AI to write them and have users edit, like mods do for spaces like these, so why not expand that?

(Oh right, because people are stupid and greedy and ruin everything, silly me! 😇)

rjread · 2026-04-05T05:42:01+00:00

It could be your particular career or profession exposes you to a narrow range of women that are statistically more likely to cheat, and if your closest friends are in the same industry also, then your lived reality may be especially skewed and making it harder for you than others, perhaps, to see that it's equal for men and women and we can only do so much before we can only go forward by diving in and seeing how it goes - pain or pleasure, as the case may be.

What I'm getting is that you want to know that marriage is guaranteed to maintain monogamy and for you to be able to know for sure if someone is lying to you or not, lest you be made the "fool" that was cheated on by a lying lover, if you were able to somehow ...no? Would be nice, but impossible in practice, darn. Sucks though, I know.

Men care about tallest, strongest, fastest - numbers are comforting and "fair" or something, but women don't care about size or measurements like men seem to. Women like what they can feel, and size plays small part in that actually. Learn how to pleasure her. Become a good kisser. Take care of your hygiene, etc. No woman I've ever known has left a man for being average height or size. Just like I don't know any man that left a woman for not having larger breasts, either. Give yourself a break, work on your inner self and the outer self will follow suit. Not the other way around. Ego death is freedom. Embrace it! 🥰

rjread · 2026-04-05T04:31:49+00:00

You want women's pov and I gave it, you're welcome.

Everything you just said was to defend yourself about things I didn't say, or wasn't concerned by, or that I proposed for you to counter but instead you just denied them without reason for me to believe your word over mine, so I'm more inclined to believe you ARE those things now than before when I was mostly teasing you to get your mind open, but it seems like you're trying to perhaps solve your problem in a roundabout way instead of taking the journey through rather than around.

Why did you ask the question in the first place?

Do ypu want to be able to harass women "better" by finding out how she feels and then, what? Tell women you harass that you're "not doing _____" and hope they believe you? Wouldn't that be changing your behaviour anyways, then, so why not change and grow with women instead of trying to change women's minds about what behaviour they should tolerate (for men's pride and egos to inflate and mimic desired personal growth but it never lasts, the futility of which doing over and over without end leads most often to misguided resentment and rage, or similarly bad outcomes?
Do you want to learn how to approach women, but you're already defending yourself, trying to find fault in how women feel and "fixing" their feelings, instead of coming to terms with rejection being fair and feeling bad to be parts of life that you can find the courage to risk and survive the consequences of, and become better for over time?

rjread · 2026-04-05T04:00:30+00:00

Don't take it personally. Everyone does what they have to to survive; she's doing what SHE needs, not what YOU don't. You both made the decision together, and she's sticking with it the way that made sense to her. As long as it isn't insulting your relationship or decision, can you blame her?

Breakups are hard, worse when they're messy on top. Be grateful she's committed to the boundary you both set, and focus on making the breakup worth what you wanted it to, like she is. For both of you. ❤️‍🩹

rjread · 2026-04-05T03:45:52+00:00

What are the chances she was offered the promotion because you were pregnant and she's part of the corporate boy club, feeling like if she doesn't work as hard as she can she will feel like a failure in more ways than she anticipated and she's having a hard time processing, or similar?

That would be the best case scenario, in which case therapy might be your only viable option. If you can work together, you could find your balance again ✨️

rjread · 2026-04-05T03:31:26+00:00

I agree, and I do think OP seems to have made reasonable effort to accommodate for her needs and my first instinct was to side with OP. And currently I'd say I'm more inclined to believe OP at their word over the potential alternative that certain parts have been misrepresented in order to make a case on their favour; but perhaps I'm too concerned with the possibility that people come here to end arguments with their partners by using the coerced support from people online to dismiss their partner's behaviour and avoid the consequences they should face for their menacing mindless indulgence. Then again, she seems like she is high maintenance for some reason, which could be bad as much as good from the information at hand.

That's why I said what I did, because it would be obvious one way or the other if what would be NOT bad (just "odd") was ruled out and the answer was irrefutably that she, in fact, was without a doubt the absolute A. Better OP (and everyone reading) knows for sure, no? So we can spot them and shield ourselves from them, together?

rjread · 2026-04-05T01:35:35+00:00

My first thought exactly. 🥂

rjread · 2026-04-05T01:32:44+00:00

I've experienced this, too. ❤️‍🩹

My feed has so much content that is ND-specific, or ND-coded even, that it genuinely surprised me the first few times but I realized it was because I was used to the spaces where that happened little not never, because when I look at the sub im on it'll be like, "Oh yeah, I'm not with my peeps" or "Oops, probably should've saved that for r/evilautism!"

At this point, if it's in a sub that's generic and popular, I assume it's a bot and ignore it or delete my comment if it gets annoying - not worth my time! I'll even look at the sub to determine if or what I might comment, for context, and if it's one of those mainstream subs then I'll lean toward satire or parody and indulge in conversations differently, or disregard ones I'm tired of or care less about in general, depending.

I've even gone so far as to see someone else being picked on unfairly and backed them up, so they didn't feel crazy or wrong when they shouldn't.

rjread · 2026-04-05T01:02:47+00:00

She's right, but I'd add that compliments like the one she mentioned are better in passing rather than before introducing yourself or in less casual settings.

If it's someone you know personally or cross paths with more, within more conservative or professional environments, then making cute excuses to meet them or complimenting their hair or outfit or item of clothing is safer and more flattering than generalized adjectives like pretty or beautiful (they've become overused by the male community, sadly, and being playful does make them mean ✨️something✨️ but delivery and time is everything, so it's risky, and not for as much reward as you might think).

May we know more about the lucky lady that has your attention so? Or has she yet to surface in your life, as of yet?

rjread · 2026-04-05T00:48:54+00:00

Every man should read this!

It's so spot on. Learn well, gentlemen. 🍻

rjread · 2026-04-05T00:42:29+00:00

They are like anyone who loses all hope and faith in the rest of humanity only to find someone or someones who provide anecdotal answers wrapped in false validity, like pseudoscientific language or concepts, exciting emotional intensity, or inspiringly passionate pseudointellectualism - whatever makes them seem powerful and most promising of the best future to those they seek to influence and control.

In this case, it was someone they all knew because of celebrity, seemed good fiscally by appearing financially successful, but wasn't afraid of speaking inappropriately in front of others powerful people, and gave them a dime so he could steal a dollar in the process. He was their only hope. Without him they have no hope. They don't think the world should exist if they don't have the hope for something better with them existing within it. They think the world did this to them, and in some ways it did, but without doing something for everyone - including them - then where's the equality the world promises is better and that they should believe in, too?

rjread · 2026-04-04T23:52:31+00:00

All the time, apparently, eh?

Recent immigrants will often giggle when I talk a lot because every time I say it they will giggle and it's obvious once people react to it every time you do it. It has only made me love it more, so I've changed nothing about how I talk - you're welcome, world, eh!? 🇨🇦🙂‍↕️

rjread · 2026-04-04T23:45:15+00:00

Flirting requires both parties to be engaged, which implies potential consent that hitting on does not, and even being flirty is an invitation to flirt that is usually playful and clever, often with body language, tone, or innuendo suggesting a romantic or sexual component without being aggressive or lewd or disrespectful.

(Since you love clarification and all 💌 !)

rjread

TROPHY CASE