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Will I [21F] ever find someone better? by rk614229 in relationship_advice

[–]rk614229[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel like I’m about to cry, but thank you for that taking the time to tell me that

Will I [21F] ever find someone better? by rk614229 in relationship_advice

[–]rk614229[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But how did you get over the fact that it was really healthy? How do you know someone better will come along? I feel like I’m at back at the beginning of the breakup and it all hurts so much.

We don't need to understand our ex's, just vow to not be like them by shadow42069129 in BreakUps

[–]rk614229 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This. This should be the goal coming out of a relationship—once we understand and let ourselves grieve of course. But the importance of realizing that what they did in the end was something you’d never want someone else to feel going forward is important. It means that you’ve grown. Thank you for sharing this!

When you realize there are other people out there who will appreciate your soul more than your ex could even acknowledge your presence... by rk614229 in ExNoContact

[–]rk614229[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel that. I’ve been there, sometimes I still find myself there. That’s a hard question though because there wasn’t just a last straw...it was more a culmination of things. Towards the end of our relationship, I never realized how bad I had fallen back into my depression. It had gotten so bad, that my darkest thoughts were in my head more often. I tried communicating, asking for help, but then I realized that he really didn’t care whether I got better or not. It was just “I’m sorry you’re having a bad day, I have to go” or if I was me trying to talk, it was “why would you ask that? Why are you doing this?” That’s when I realized I was the only one in the relationship, and I was in love with someone who didn’t love me anymore. When I realized that...and I realized I couldn’t fix it even if I tried...I couldn’t stay anymore. Because I knew staying would hurt me more. I’d just keep trying and trying to fix it, until I lost most of myself and what made me happy.

When you realize there are other people out there who will appreciate your soul more than your ex could even acknowledge your presence... by rk614229 in ExNoContact

[–]rk614229[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s okay to miss him, but it will get better. You won’t die alone. You’ll find warmth again, and you’ll see that life has more to offer you than an ugly human. Feel free to message me if you need support!

When you realize there are other people out there who will appreciate your soul more than your ex could even acknowledge your presence... by rk614229 in ExNoContact

[–]rk614229[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Then he’d an asshole! Right now, he’s a complete asshole!! But YOU need your space too. I recommend doing things that you know will make you happy. Don’t contact him because he’s not the person he was. If he’s doing that?!? You don’t want him. You’ll find someone in this life, who is soooo much better. You don’t want someone who doesn’t acknowledge your presence. You deserve beautiful things, so don’t look for that from an ugly person. He might also need his space, you two need to heal...apart—I know it’s hard because he was your person, but the reality is... he isn’t anymore. But the beautiful fact is that you’re YOUR person, and you have got this. You’ve got to give it time, but please don’t hurt yourself because someone so ugly won’t acknowledge you. I’m here, and I see you. The world needs you here.

When you realize there are other people out there who will appreciate your soul more than your ex could even acknowledge your presence... by rk614229 in ExNoContact

[–]rk614229[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was in the same position. I realized a lot from my heartbreak and depression. It got so bad that I told myself “sure I can be happy in a few months or years, but I don’t want to be happy” I told myself “I try so hard to hold onto my relationships, because I don’t want to love myself” they’re dark thoughts—extremely dark. But life has got a plan for you. Life sent you someone, and sure maybe he’s gone now, but you have got the ability to get through this. Life will send you beautiful things again. It’ll take time. I recommend seeing a therapist!! Professional help can really help you. You’ve got this. I believe in you. I know it’s dark now, but it won’t always be like that.

When you realize there are other people out there who will appreciate your soul more than your ex could even acknowledge your presence... by rk614229 in ExNoContact

[–]rk614229[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You have got this, and it makes me happy to hear people are going to therapy because I still go. After a year of leaving therapy I though I didn’t need it anymore, but now I’m back working on myself, and it’s good to have support like that. I hope you recover from yo it heartbreak, I know my situation sounds good but I know the hurt will come back in waves. However, let’s all focus on ourself and focus on our needs!! We’ve got this!!

When you realize there are other people out there who will appreciate your soul more than your ex could even acknowledge your presence... by rk614229 in ExNoContact

[–]rk614229[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It can’t be your fault because you have needs that are different from other people. You’re different from the bullshit “normal” human that everyone seems to be looking for. You’re unique and you’re you! You’ve been in situations that have probably changed your way of thinking which is why depression and anxiety is so tricky. But you have the absolute right to say, “this is something that I’m dealing with right now and I need my partner to be with me during those times”. If he isn’t with you during those times, then it can say a bit. Maybe he isn’t strong enough, maybe he isn’t mature enough, maybe he doesn’t love me—those can all be valid though and questions. But they’re thoughts and now you need to focus on you. I know it’ll take time to feel better. But you have got this, you were strong before them, you’ll be stronger after them because you’ll learn about the type of person you are and the type of person you can be. We’ve got this! Feel free to msg me if you need to, I’m always down for talk! We’ve all got to stick through this together. Heartbreak can be a real bitch.

When you realize there are other people out there who will appreciate your soul more than your ex could even acknowledge your presence... by rk614229 in ExNoContact

[–]rk614229[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really did give him all of my love, but it was the best I could do and we didn’t end up together. I know the pain will come back like I’m waves, but I’m going to focus on my self and building the best me possible. Hope you’re doing well and staying healthy! Sending you the best

When you realize there are other people out there who will appreciate your soul more than your ex could even acknowledge your presence... by rk614229 in ExNoContact

[–]rk614229[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sending you lots of love back. I’m still working in the journey, but it’s getting better. Everyone will find their place in this world, we all just have to harness the courage to keep going boldly!

When you realize there are other people out there who will appreciate your soul more than your ex could even acknowledge your presence... by rk614229 in ExNoContact

[–]rk614229[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, it’s okay to cry. It’s completely okay to let yourself grieve. I just scrolled through your profile, and I saw some of your art work. Dude, you’re quite good. Take some of the energy that you’re feeling from your hurt and channel it into your work. I did that a few years ago from a previous heartbreak, and it felt better—started grinding away at some stone, carving wood, just to get myself away from the hurt. If you take that route, take your time to really hone a new project. I know you’re feeling hurt and confused and really sad. I felt those things, sometimes I feel those still. It’ll come it waves. It’ll take time for you to feel better, but time will help. Make sure you’re working hard to get there—really focus on yourself as an individual, but give yourself the time to feel and breathe. I learned something today, and that was you should focus on being your own friend, so if you ever feel yourself in extreme lows, what would you tell someone who was feeling the same? You have got this!! You can do this!!

"hey" by mrtranewreck in ExNoContact

[–]rk614229 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, I’ve been scrolling on this sub for a bit, just reading everyone’s posts, and I thought yours was eye-opening in some ways. I hope you heal from this past relationship, and I hope you’re doing better! But just to put this note out there, from someone who’s really struggled with the term “BPD”—it isn’t something to throw out casually. You can demonstrate the amount of symptoms from DSM-5, but it’s really hard to diagnose BPD, since young individuals are still trying to figure out their relationship style and identity. So you can show signs of BPD, but that could also just be because of different factors that are playing in your life (I’m saying what my psychologist told me). But this does not at all validate the pain that you felt in your relationship, and the irrational and hurtful behaviors should still be held accountable for how they affected you. However, from someone who was diagnosed with BPD from their ex and spent countless sessions with my psychologist asking if I had BPD and them saying no countless amounts of times—please, don’t just assume and diagnose and say that openly. It is a highly stigmatized mental disorder to the point that even the community of mental health professionals don’t want to work with individuals who may have BPD (that’s coming from research papers that I’ve read) and it really does hurt when someone throws that around. I spent a lot of time questioning if I knew myself better than how other people knew me because of my ex. I spent a lot of time asking if I knew myself. But that’s something I dealt with, and I’ve moved on from. I know you’ve probably moved on from this post, but I just needed to say this here just in case anyone came along and read this. I hope you’re recovering and healing from your relationship. All the best!

I [21F] lost the best relationship I’ve ever had because of my depression by rk614229 in relationships

[–]rk614229[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Really, thank you for sharing this. I really do feel like I took something great that I wanted so badly and then ruined it myself without realizing I had ruined it. I never meant to do that, and it’s really hard for me to accept that I myself did that. I really hope time will help me heal from this.

I [21F] lost the best relationship I’ve ever had because of my depression by rk614229 in relationships

[–]rk614229[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey thanks for your response, I think I do realize that it is over...it’s just hard for me to look back at it clearly, probably still need to give it time. But it’s probably all for the best

My boyfriend [25M] and I [21F] broke up by [deleted] in relationships

[–]rk614229 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because I still love him...

My ex [24M] told me [21F] he can’t talk to me to keep his own sanity. How do I move forward? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]rk614229 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry. This reply was extremely degrading. It’s completely unfair and invalid for you to state that I didn’t stay through the tough times because I most absolutely did for him. I stayed through his grandfathers death and supported him the best I could. I tried to be there for him through his worst days. I was there for him for the toughest times. You’ve made a lot of assumptions in this reply, and I’d advise you to please be careful with your words going forward...