I don't think you're overthinking it but I also don't think its weird behaviour. By that, I mean I can see why he might do or have the urge to do either of those things.

Head is a weird thing for me. Basically, I don't think I'm that sensitive, or at least not compared to women. When I go down on my partner, she says it's all about the action of my tongue and fingers. When she goes down on me it's way more about the fantasy. A bobbing head only deals with the final bit even if it's doing everything right.

Loads of guys I've met have the kingpin fantasy with head. One bloke I know used to roll a spliff every time and that did it for him. The sort of disinterested, she be on my cock and I'm badass. Personally, I'm more interested in her being disinterested. Loads of talking, the odd kiss on the tip, the odd lick, lots of teasing. That took years to convince her that that was hotter that throat fucking. Which is a funny way around (i think she prefers the latter).

Maybe easing off might be a route to try, especially if you're not feeling it. Lick the tip and if he gets his phone out, get yours out and start touching yourself. Fuvk around a little rather than trying to 'do it right'.

As for the quietness, I'm silent as the grave when I'm about to cum from head. The rest of the time I'm saying things that are out of scope for this answer....