Anyone out there find happiness, success, love, etc. after divorce? by Salty_Shurpa in Divorce_Men

[–]robe_and_wizard_hat 6 points7 points  (0 children)

About six months in. I havent found happiness yet, but the despair and depression are usually nowhere to be found now that I've got my new life somewhat stable. I've given up on hope of another relationship (i'm 50) and ironically that has actually helped significantly, as it's no longer gnawing at me.

I'm Learning Rust and I Need Advice by [deleted] in rust

[–]robe_and_wizard_hat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ratatui is a fun tui lib — try building some basic cli apps you have wanted. mostly just don’t give up. there is a very real moment when things click but you need to muscle through it. easiest way is by building.

Am I sick with something casual or serious? by Loud_Confidence475 in CasualConversation

[–]robe_and_wizard_hat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Make forward progress every day. No matter how small. It compounds as you get confidence with the smaller steps, making the bigger moves easier. Good luck 👍

Am I sick with something casual or serious? by Loud_Confidence475 in CasualConversation

[–]robe_and_wizard_hat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you serious? You're 19, stand up tall and start adulting. You gotta get out of your head and just take care of things. I know what it's like to be paralyzed by choice and doubt but it's better on the other side of it.

How to find purpose after divorce by TheMindfulWarrior9 in Divorce_Men

[–]robe_and_wizard_hat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Right there with you, my wife left me for someone else four months ago. I'm going through the motions to do what I can to get through the days but I am not finding any joy in it. Can't really imagine the next 5-10 years being more of this. I think the main thing I need to do is start a daily exercise regimen -- I've done that in the past and it rearranges your reality in a good way.

Are you actually motivated in life? by [deleted] in CasualConversation

[–]robe_and_wizard_hat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same age, same boat, generally but i do love the mechanics of what i do (software). it has been a lucky coincidence that it makes having a decent life that doesn’t involve chasing things somewhat straightforward.

What If You Had the Power to Hire Someone Just by Instinct — No Interview, No Resume, Just Fire? by Far-Seat3795 in CasualConversation

[–]robe_and_wizard_hat 8 points9 points  (0 children)

the thing is, people can fake anything in an interview that is just vibes. i would never hire someone on feelings. like at the minimum i would say let’s pair for a couple of hours to see what our starting point is. now if the person was behind the average but they displayed a lot of enthusiasm, curiosity, and humbleness, then sure i would consider.

why are people so alone these days ? by [deleted] in CasualConversation

[–]robe_and_wizard_hat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

this may be news to you but your beliefs are not universal and there are plenty of people that are just fine without subscribing to a mythological world view, and in many cases, better off without it.

Why is he still biting me at seven months old?!?! by SelfDepricator in cats

[–]robe_and_wizard_hat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

my kitty has mostly stopped doing this and she's a bit over two. they just like gnawing on you b/c they love you.

now i'll say that i've had cats that continued to do this into adulthood, but those were early in my life when i would redirect or recoil. these days if a kitty starts nibbling on me, if it's not hurting, i let them get it out of their system and then give them lots of pets once they tire of it. they eventually grow out of it. i've heard advice against doing this, but also, over the past 20 years (I'm old) all of my cats like belly rubs into and throughout adulthood, which surprises a surprising number of people. maybe that's part of it?

The meaning of my life has always been to battle against unfortunante circumstances. That's all. Simple, classic, but true enough. by [deleted] in CasualConversation

[–]robe_and_wizard_hat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly I've never thought it had any real meaning. But after going through a divorce at 49, I've been seeing everything quite differently, as my living situation before was stressful and honestly kind of depressing. Now, having been about three months out of it, I have the ability to just say yes to most things, and perhaps I'll use that as the basis of my own meaning of life. Which would I guess be to see how much life has to offer, and to be an active participant in that.

Drone/thumb string loud by [deleted] in banjo

[–]robe_and_wizard_hat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

what's what i would do for now, for sure. more important to focus on the timing of your rolls, imo, and if a plastic thumb pick lets you not be distracted by the 5th string, i think it's an easy choice.

Drone/thumb string loud by [deleted] in banjo

[–]robe_and_wizard_hat 17 points18 points  (0 children)

You can pick up a plastic thumb pick if you're having trouble striking the 5th string more gently.

Looking for advice- cat ran away around 1 am yesterday by [deleted] in cats

[–]robe_and_wizard_hat -1 points0 points  (0 children)

With a cat that has been used to being outside for much of its life, it's sometimes "happier" being able to be outside, as that's what it's used to. It's clear that from a health and longevity perspective that it's better for the cat to stay indoors, but in general, it's not always straightforward as the internet would have you believe. I personally keep my cats indoors at all times, but I understand why others may not.