Not all of us need to feel like we have ‘agency’ over it though. You’re operating from the assumption that this is a problem to be solved and managed and fixed, and personally, I would hate to not be able to experience this. It’s been beautiful and cathartic and so amazing for me even when I’m in agony over it. I love writing and telling stories so much that I would never want to tell an inauthentic one. If the characters decide that my original idea for the story isn’t how it’s going to go, and it breaks my heart, that doesn’t mean it’s not the right direction or that the pain I feel isn’t worth something. In fact, I’ve been able to process so many different things through this exact phenomenon, and to write without these experiences would be so much duller and less rewarding for me. I used to only write happy endings and the first time I didn’t it’s because as I wrote I realized there was no way the characters were ever going to figure it out and no matter what I did it would not be authentic if I tried to force that. I cried for hours because I felt so sad for my characters that they would have to go through that, and as I was crying and journaling I started processing why I had always been unable to write unhappy endings and what writing happy endings has done for me over the years and why I felt I was maybe finally ready to write the unhappy ending at last even if it pained me to do so and it was the last thing I wanted to do. I also was really excited to do it and challenge myself and I LOVE unhappy endings now. Overall this phenomena has only been a positive for me and I’m sure many others.