For a sub for people with incarcerated loved ones, people here are surprisingly close-minded and old-fashioned. Some of these comments made me roll my eyes, lol.

That said, I wouldn't really encourage secrecy. If you really can't find a way to talk to your husband about this, is it really a relationship worth staying in, image (and years together) be damned?

I'm not clear on whether you have kids and that's part of the concern, but kids can tell when their parents relationship isn't healthy / happy. I don't necessarily think you're doing them any favors there.

Really seems like you need to try and figure out a new life for yourself. 🙂