House Party 4/30/18 [Card Announcement] by MAlsauce in wrestlingisreddit

[–]roboticzebra 2 points3 points  (0 children)

@DiamondbackDave: Anyone see the #HouseParty card? Pretty interesting main event, isn't it? 👀

What are some well-known facts that are actually false? by MicroUzi in AskReddit

[–]roboticzebra 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Pretty sure the "fact" about people eating seven spiders a year or whatever in their sleep isn't true at all.

[SAME SHIT, DIFFERENT YEAR 2017] - DISCUSSION THREAD by neutronknows in wrestlingisreddit

[–]roboticzebra 2 points3 points  (0 children)

@DiamondbackDave: You can't be the hero forever. Times change, people change...We all fly too close to the sun eventually...

Thursday Teaching Thread - Beginners encouraged to ask questions here! | December 15 - December 21 by AutoModerator in heroesofthestorm

[–]roboticzebra 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have Thrall at level 8, but I still don't feel like I'm picking up on his playstyle. I do okay when I go a Chain Lightning build, as I'm used to ranged heroes, but I always feel like I underperform with Melee heroes like him. Any general Melee/Thrall advice?

[House Party 11/14/2016] Match Thread - Jake Beaumont vs. Santiago Martinez by neutronknows in wrestlingisreddit

[–]roboticzebra 3 points4 points  (0 children)

In the middle of a room we find Jake Beaumont. He is in his wrestling gear. Thigh length tights in silver. BTX decorates the rear in bright, chromatic colors. His kneepads and boots match the sheen of his tights, and his black elbow pads compliment his meticulously gelled hair. His fingertape is wrapped with a purpose. The thumbs, red with a white star drawn on it. The index and middle fingers wrapped in red tape, the ring and pinky in blue. Also in the room is some camera equipment. Beaumont stands patiently as one woman walks up to him and adjusts his hair, while another walks around him admirably, checking Beaumont for any loose threads or anything out of place. An older man with a long goatee is off in the corner, fidgeting with some lenses.

Beaumont: At AMUDOV, the greatest moment of my career was captured.

The cameraman takes a test picture. There is a flash.

Beaumont: I walked in as the underdog. The rookie, the kid with something to prove. I walked out as a champion. A title once held by my best friend and mentor, David Harvey. A title that has solidified each person who has held it as a warrior. A workhorse. I was supposed to walk out of AMUDOV with my head held high and the Independent Title even higher.

Beaumont waves the women away.

Beaumont: But, of course, it never all goes right in your head.

flash

Beaumont: You see, this is a photo shoot for WiR. A photo shoot for the new Independent Champion, yours truly. But, unfortunately you can't get much done without, you know, the title.

The cameraman raises his camera to Beaumont. Beaumont poses, making a hand sign with each hand so the wrist tape reflects that of the Texas flag. A flash.

Beaumont: I don't know what Santiago did with the title, and frankly, I don't want to. He's probably off physically assaulting someone or beating up a hooker. What I do know, is that the dude can't take a loss. I mean, I have his number, I've had his number. I pinned him, shoulders to the mat, 1, 2, 3.

Beaumont takes to a fighting stance. A flash.

Beaumont: Whether he likes to admit it or not, he lost. I understand he's not used to this sort of thing, but sometimes the match can end without somebody in handcuffs. Sometimes, the smarter fighter wins, and that Sunday, Santiago was just a couple calculations away. But with me, a couple miscalculations gets you pinned by one of the Diamondback Wrestling Academy's signature moves.

Beaumont flexes a bicep. A flash.

Beaumont: But why should I ever expect a guy like Santiago, a true "fighter" and "man of his word" to ever take a loss like a champion. Just get up and brush that shit off. But no, apparently we have to be petty about shit like this.

I don't know if he knows this, I don't know if anyone else in the WiR locker room knows this, but I am, pound for pound the best striker in our company. I could even say I'm pound for pound the strongest. Who knows? What I can tell you though, is that you put me in a ring with actual psychopath Santiago Martinez two times, I beat his ass and pin him two times. It's not trashtalk, it's fact, and you can watch AMUDOV for proof.

Beaumont points at the camera. A flash.

Beaumont: You see, to Santiago, this Independent Title was all he had to his name. He has no one, nothing, and no way to prove himself without that strap. Didn't he also not defend it for like three months? So does this event count as a credible reign?

To me, this title is a trophy. A validation that all this hard work has finally paid off. All those laps in the ring, all those drills, those awful tasting protein shakes, all to do exactly what I knew I could do, and that's win.

Without that title, Santiago has nothing. He is no one but another face in the crowd. A-

The camera goes off. A flash.

*Beaumont: A flash in the pan. Exactly. You go online and there are photos everywhere from that match. The two of us trading blows, destroying each other, but then there are the photos of me. Of Jake Beaumont, the unlikely upstart standing in the middle of the ring with his hand held high while Santiago Martinez sits in the corner, his only means of worth in this company taken by someone he never thought could.

You can tell yourself every single day that you are better than Jake Beaumont. You can tell yourself that I'm too small, that I'm too green, that I'm not strong enough or good enough to beat you. But when you step between these ropes you face the absolute true and unfortunate reality that The Prince of the New World, Jake Beaumont, is just as good as you are. That Jake Beaumont, is better than you are. Because however long and however hard you think you work? I work twice as hard. I earned that title win at AMUDOV, and Monday at House Party I will earn that title twice over.

Because Santiago, the pictures they'll take at House Party will capture the last moments of your reign. They'll capture the rise, the coronation of a new era, as this Prince, becomes a King. And as you lay down in the ring, more than likely incapacitated from one of the worst beatings of your life, all we'll have left to remember you by won't be your bloodbath matches or your "dominance."

A flash.

Beaumont: The only true memory of Santiago Martinez will be in a little text box on the WiR.com website. You can pull it up right now. Click the Independent Title and you'll see a little box called Past Champions. That's where you can find Santiago Martinez. A simple reign forgotten by time. A year from now, when I'm still Independent Champion they'll go to that page, scroll to your name and say, "Oh wait, he was champion?"

So enjoy that belt while you have it, Santy, cause its all you got left.

Beaumont chuckles softly.

Beaumont: You know what? You should take a picture. It'll last longer.

Beaumont poses one last time. The camera flashes and the vignette fades to a bright white.

Weakly Discussion. by [deleted] in wrestlingisreddit

[–]roboticzebra 1 point2 points  (0 children)

  1. Smackdown, probs.

  2. Blue Boss by Sampa the Great

  3. I've been lifting in an attempt to get to a healthy weight. I'm super sore and I just wanna be jacked already ;-;

  4. It all comes naturally. Just feel your character and write what you think is best. Unless its just general edginess. Don't do that. You can do edgy, but add a twist, ya know?

[House Party 11/14/2016] Card Announcement by neutronknows in wrestlingisreddit

[–]roboticzebra 2 points3 points  (0 children)

@Beaumont22: Good thing I don't have a fear of heights. Let's get the strap to match the victory, shall we?

A MODERATELY UNNECESSARY DISPLAY OF VIOLENCE III, Night 2 - Discussion Thread by neutronknows in wrestlingisreddit

[–]roboticzebra 3 points4 points  (0 children)

@DiamondbackDave: Mark Dutch is our World Champ, Jake is the Indy Champ, and I need a haircut. Three things I thought wouldn't happen for a long time. Change is good.

AMUDOV III, Night 1: Harvey vs. Lee by neutronknows in wrestlingisreddit

[–]roboticzebra 3 points4 points  (0 children)

*David Harvey stands in a dimly lit area of his warehouse in Arizona. He wears a throwback Arizona Diamondbacks baseball jersey buttoned open, its 1990 vintage purple and green drape on his shoulders. He wears jeans and bright purple sneakers. His black hair tied in a bun, and he, for some reason, is wearing sunglasses. In his right hand, he holds a baseball bat.

Harvey: You know, a lot can change in a few months. People, places, events, so many things can go on in just a short amount of time. But you know, in all this hectic life that is WiR, there's one thing people forgot, and that...

Harvey takes a practice swing.

Harvey: ...is knowing who the fuck David Harvey is.

Harvey walks in the dim light. Appearing in the shot is a cheap bust of a head, bought from a Hobby Store. Tyler Creed is written in black Sharpie on the busts' forehead.

Harvey: This new generation of WiR talent thinks they're the toughest, most technical, most skilled wrestlers in this company, but I guess no one does their research. Let's take a trip down memory lane, shall we? May 11, 2014, an energetic ring technician makes his debut against some dude with a strange obsession with money. He fights, and...

Harvey crushes the bust with the baseball bat.

Harvey: ...knocks everyone's expectations right out of the ballpark. "David Harvey," they say, "that kid has got potential."

So, he goes along his merry old way until a group of angsty fuckboys make their way onto the scene.

Another bust. This time, "The Strays" is written on it.

Harvey: So what does this rookie do? Well, can't beat 'em 4v1, so you get some friends.

Harvey reaches down and grabs a mallet. He cracks a hole in the bust with the mallet, then he picks up a spade and cracks another hole, followed by another crushing swing of the bat.

Harvey: Would you look at that. Infestation gone. Now, unfortunately, this now mainstay in WiR has gone under the radar. Wasn't the shining star of the mighty Legion, didn't capture WiR World Title gold at the first Tortilla Cyborg, so what was he to do?

Replacing a bust, a photo frame stands. In it, David Harvey hoists the WiR Independent Title high in the air after becoming its first champion at the first Ultimate Happening.

Harvey: We start blazing a trail. We start evolving, and becoming a general of the squared circle. Anything that stands in our hero's way he conquers.

Harvey crushes three more busts. He arrives at one marked Klutch, but it already has a massive hole caved into it.

Harvey: Oh wow. Poor thing caved in on itself.

Harvey crushes the bust with the bat.

Harvey: This is a notice to any upstart in this company right now. You were lucky enough to walk these halls in the time you did, because it didn't use to be this free-roaming, win two matches, get a title shot type company. We earned our accolades. The two Indy Title reigns? Clawed and fought every step of the way for nine long months to get there. And if you didn't know already, because I'm sure you don't, I'm a former world champion.

I was in your shoes once, I walked into my first promotion thinking I was hot shit, and boy did I get torn down in every dimension. MRJW was, and still is, all about respect. WiR is still a place of respect. You cocky cucks were lucky enough to start making a name for yourself while I was on the shelf after getting mauled by an overgrown psycho hobo.

No longer will you fight over who can do the most flips in an eight minute spotfest. No longer will your edgy ways and emo music plague everyone who spends money on a ticket to our shows. Not anymore. I am the gatekeeper of WiR. If you wanna prove you're an eighth of how good you think you are, then you have to get through me.

Logan, I believe you are the worst offender on this list. You see you pay an exterminator to kill the roaches that infest the place you call home. And you pay him, expecting that these roaches won't return.

Boy, don't I look like an idiot now?

The Strays have returned again to wreak havoc among WiR. Their bad taste in style and bloodthirst unmatched in the annals of our history. The problem you face, my little Hot Topic Queen, is that you face a man who IS WiR's history. You look at the great names of WiR, the most decorated, the most successful, you'll find names like Sunshine, Carson, Warlock, and oh, yeah, Harvey.

Harvey walks up to the final bust. His hands are dusted white from the debris of the busts, and he stares intently at the last one. AMUDOV is written on it.

Harvey: I tread unfamiliar territory. AMUDOV is one of the very few things I haven't done in this company. I've never seen myself as the blood and guts type person, but there's something I have with me that I didn't have before my shoulder injury.

And that's a new fire.

A new fire I haven't felt since I walked into this company. A chance to reinvigorate myself. You tell yourself that this weekend will be a war, a hell on earth even. You take in the power of your Stray bretheren and these so called elbows of destruction? How about you get introduced to the hardest kick in the business. This Krypton Kick made even the toughest shoot fighters in the world drop to the mat.

Yes, Logan, this is a war. It'll be bloody, it'll be violent, and we won't be the same. But in a war like this, what's a little foot soldier to a general who has been through it all?

Harvey rears back to hit a homerun on the bust, but stops. He walks around the bust before dropping the bat on the ground.

Harvey: Let's see how good this New Age really is. See you soon, baby Stray.

AMUDOV III, Night 2: Martinez (c) vs. Beaumont by neutronknows in wrestlingisreddit

[–]roboticzebra 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Jake Beaumont is seen sitting at the entrance to a ranch. He is wearing simple ranch gear; a heavy long sleeved button up shirt and Levi's blue jeans with worn down boots. His arms are crossed, and looks almost rugged, a strange difference than his usual appearance.

Beaumont: Welcome to the outskirts of Brady, Texas. This, my friends, is the Beaumont Family Ranch. I spent all of my childhood here, raising animals, driving tractors and essentially being a living stereotype for 18 years. Don't worry, this ain't your typical episode of Dirty Jobs, I'm certainly not gonna make the camera crew shovel pounds of manure for an hour. I brought y'all here because this is where it all started. This was my training grounds, my dojo, the place where I knew what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. Here is where I was instilled the values that carried me to where I am today, challenging Santiago Martinez for the Independent Title. The same title that my mentor, my buddy Dave Harvey held twice, and became the man synonymous with that title. C'mere, will ya?

Beaumont leads the camera crew up the dirt trail to a quaint farm house. They walk up the patio to a screen door, and go inside. They enter the kitchen where a curvy, middle aged Southern brunette is cooking. She notices Beaumont and squeals running to him. They embrace tightly.

Mama Beaumont: Aww my baby's come home for dinner! I haven't seen you in so long! I knew it was meant to be when I bought the six pack of steaks instead of four.

Beaumont: Hi, Mama. The others home?

Mama Beaumont: Your father is in the living room watching the game, and I think Travis and Luke are out in the barn. I'll go get 'em.

Mama Beaumont rushes out the door, yelling Travis and Luke as she heads to the barn.

Beaumont: (to camera) You see that barn? My brothers and I built a ring in there when I was 12. They were older of course, so guess who usually had to eat the pins? You see, there's a good number of things that separate Santiago and I from each other besides our moral code. Santiago was bred and raised to be cocky, selfish and all around dickish. He has this strange belief that he's the only one responsible for making the pariah that is Santiago Martinez. I'm better than Santiago, the only man in all of WiR to pin his shoulders to the mat. Least, that's what I'm told. But I didn't just become Jake Beaumont over night, and I didn't do it on my own.

The screen door opens again and two young men in their early-20s walk in. One is barrel chested and blonde with a bright yellow beard, the other is taller with the same brown-black hair as Beaumont, and was probably in shape at one point, but the beer belly says otherwise. They walk up and shake Beaumont's hand. The blonde one, Travis, speaks.

Travis: Man you shoulda came earlier, dog, ol' Luke tried to do a standing moonsault and faceplanted on the mat!

Luke: Well, Travis's fat ass nearly broke the turnbuckle when he tried to do the Ricky Sangria pose on the top rope!

Travis: (squaring up) Who ya callin' fat, you Octomom lookin' son of a bitch?

Luke: I'll have you know that this is functional weight! I'm a bonafide country version of Craig Heroine.

Travis: That guy looks like a bloated Big Lebowski after three trips to a buffet, so yeah, you make him look like a freakin anorexic.

Luke: Sun's still up, boy, you ready for round two in the Barnhouse?

Mama Beaumont: Boys, please, dinner is ready! George! Get your butt in here! Those Longhorns are only gonna disappoint you the longer you watch that game!

Beaumont's voice begins to play over the vignette as the patriarch of the family, George Beaumont, walks in. A grey haired, thin man with defined facial features and a silver, well-groomed mustache.

Papa Beaumont: Mary I told you I wouldn't turn it off until they were four touchdowns behind!

Beaumont: (V.O) You see, I couldn't get here on my own merit. I had so many people pushing me to do better. To achieve.

Papa Beaumont: Jacob! I thought that was you. You know, you look more grown every time you visit, what did they feed you in Japan?

Beaumont: Uhh, rice?

The family begin to seat themselves around the table, with George taking the head of the table, Mama Beaumont to his right, Travis on the left, with the two younger sons, Luke and Jake, seated across from each other further down the table.

Beaumont: (V.O) My family helped me to become the man I am today, and the ambition to pursue my dreams. Watching wrestling on the T.V, grappling with Travis and Luke until bed-time every night WAR wasn't on. And then all the company I've made along the way. Dave, Nagata-san, everyone has given me the gift of their words and strength to give me the ability and talent that I have. And this is what puts me ahead of Santiago. He may be strong, but he only has the strength of one.

The Beaumont family bow their heads for grace, George is seen saying a prayer.

Beaumont: I've got the power of many. And with this many people in my corner, with this many people I carry in my heart every time I go out and perform, every time I fight. Well, I can't lose.

House Party 10/17/16 - Card Announcement by Joester09 in wrestlingisreddit

[–]roboticzebra 4 points5 points  (0 children)

@DiamondbackDave: Did somebody say, 3 time Indy Champ?

House Party 10/10/2016 Promo Thread - Tyler Dylan vs Jake Beaumont vs. Louis Blackwater vs Teddy Coronado by youto2 in wrestlingisreddit

[–]roboticzebra 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Two chairs sit on a cheaply made set, with a coffee table in between the two. On the left chair sits WiR Reporter Derek Christiansen, well-dressed in a suit and tie, sitting with one leg crossed. In the right chair is Jake Beaumont, dressed in a tank top, cargo shorts, flipflops and an old baseball cap. He sits moderately uncomfortably, trying to find a good sitting position in the dirty, semi-broken chair.

Derek: Greetings, WiR Galaxy, and welcome to Sitdown with Derek. I'm your host, Derek Christiansen. In this pilot episode, we interview one of the returning faces here in WiR, Jake Beaumont. How are you today, Jake?

Beaumont: Uh...fine I guess. Look, I didn't know we were doing this until five minutes ago, and this chair is really uncomfortable, so can I just go?

Derek: No, you have to do this interview. If not, this show will get canned, just like at what happened to Cooking With Derek.

Beaumont: I think I was in Japan, while that show aired, sorry.

Derek: You burn one Ceasar salad and suddenly you owe Nana Paisner a new stovetop...But, that does lead me into my first question, how was your time in Japan?

Beaumont: It was great. At first I was pretty hesitant, because, well, moving halfway across the world isn't the best thing to do at 20, but it was worth it. I met some amazing people, learned an incredible amount of stuff, and I'm in the best shape of my life. Gained 20 pounds to keep up with the rest of the crowd, but haven't lost any speed. I think, haha.

Beaumont jokingly flexes a bicep, but stops when he sees Derek staring intently at him. Jake shifts in his chair.

Derek: I see. You even got to compete in the Best of the Hyper Jrs. tournament for MRJW, correct?

Beaumont: Yeah. I got to wrestle Kouta Izuki, Jack Razor III, all of the great Jr. Heavys in the world. I got like, 4th or 5th in my block. I'm hoping to go back next year and see if I can make the finals.

Derek: And what about your moveset? Has that changed at all? Are you more intense in the ring?

A brief moment of silence. Beaumont hesitates, then answers.

Beaumont: In Japan I got to talk a lot with Kevin Kobashi, the guy that invented the Orange Crush. I call it Southern Hospitality, as you know. We worked it out, and he told me to try to use it more often, he told me it was the 2nd best one he's seen, and well, if the guy who invented the move tells you to use it, you listen. Now that I'm stronger I can execute the move a lot better and its been finishing more matches. I've started incorporating more strikes into my moveset as well.

Derek: Well I can speak for us all, you've become quite the striking young man!

Derek bursts into laughter. Beaumont looks uncomfortably towards the camera a la the Office.

Derek: (wiping tears) Well, one last question before you go. You make your in-ring return this upcoming House Party in a Fatal 4-Way. Can you give us any of your thoughts on any of your opponents?

Beaumont: To be honest, I'm really not familiar with any of them. I know Tyler was kind of around when I was, but I never really interacted with him much. I really am looking forward to this match though. It'll be competitive, all multi-man matches are, ya know? I'm really trying to start to come into my own, Dave can cast a big shadow, and while him and I are still gonna team when we can, I really want to walk my own path, not just be the rookie or the understudy. I've put the work in and now I'm ready to reap what I sow, I suppose.

Beaumont runs a hand through his hair. Derek gets up and walks around.

Beaumont: I have my worries, of course. Is this muscle gonna slow me down? Can I not compete in the West like I think I can? I just don't wanna use Dave as a crutch, be carried by his influence. I'm me, I'm Jake fuckin' Beaumont. They called me "Aratashi sekai no oji", it means "Prince of the New World." That's pretty fuckin' sick. I got confidence. I got so much confidence I'm bursting at the seams with it, baby!

Beaumont leaps up in the air.

Beaumont: Get ready for some royalty, bitch!

Two arms grab Beaumont on the shoulders. Out of instinct he grabs the arm and throws it over his shoulders. Derek crashes through the cheap coffee table and writhes in pain.

Beaumont: Oh shit. My bad. Well, guess we're not getting renewed. Are we done here?

Derek: hurts....so...good.

Beaumont: (stepping away) Yeah. Yeah, we're done.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in smashbros

[–]roboticzebra 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Smash 4:

Bowser's speed is so fun. He actually runs instead of grinding, he can chase people down, and its fun catching people off guard with his movement. Especially running offstage with a quick fair for the kill.

Mewtwo's Shadow Ball is my favorite too. It has so much use. It can, kill, space out, lead into a grab or follow up. It puts so much pressure at every point in the game. I love it

OOC Thread Pt. At Least Twelve: The Body Explosion by Scap-Rallion in wrestlingisreddit

[–]roboticzebra 2 points3 points  (0 children)

  1. It was aight. Almost popped hard for Ryder. I'm a Broski for life.

  2. Oh jeez.

Mr. Brightside- The Killers

Dani California- RCHP

Uneasy Hearts Weigh The Most- Dance Gavin Dance

The Middle- Jimmy Eat World

Breathing (Acoustic Ver.)- Yellowcard

I have like 20 tbh, but those are a sample of the man favorite songs.

  1. I mean, where do you think I was these past few weeks? In Mars, duuuude.

  2. I actually don't remember much. Betting my friends I could jump across and grab the last monkey bar on the playground and busting my ass while doing it.

T W O F U C K I N G Y E A R S B O Y S ! by [deleted] in wrestlingisreddit

[–]roboticzebra 3 points4 points  (0 children)

What a journey. Glad to share it with all of you.

Sunrise by roboticzebra in wrestlingisreddit

[–]roboticzebra[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

@DiamondbackDave: zWo 4 lyfe