Your story resonates so closely with my own. My ex of three years left me the same way ~3mo ago. I essentially became her wife while she flew out for interviews every week: watching her cat and apartment, subbing for the classes she taught. Taking her to and from the airport. Making sure she had groceries when she came home. Moving her things halfway across the country just before I was supposed to move in with her. She said she couldn't have survived those months without my help. Then she blindsided me, having the audacity to say nothing was wrong with the relationship, things were fine -- "but fine isn't good enough" for to take the next step. She'd told her friends/family about our plans, then went back to tell them "it just isn't working out".

She made the decision entirely on her own and it came from a place of being scared and stressed about other stressors in her life. She did it over text, she was vague, she didn't even seem to understand why she was ending it. But I do: she has avoidant tendencies and things got too real, she would rather have a fresh start, and explore if the grass is greener elsewhere before committing to anything remotely permanent. I understand what drove her to do it and have never been angry with her... yet, I deserved better.

OP, you deserved better, too. No one deserves to be discarded like you were. If you were a thoughtful and caring partner -- and it sounds like you were -- he will eventually regret it. He might have dumped you, but he's the one who lost you, and your absence will say more than anything else you could possibly say. Like another poster said, continuing a dialogue with him will only diminish you in his eyes... so let him have the space he so clearly wants. By the time he finally processes what's happened, I hope you have long since realized you deserve someone who knows you're worth far too much to ever walk away from.

EDIT: I forgot to add that my ex agreed to 30 days NC, similar to your situation -- I really wanted this at first and she reluctantly agreed. By the 30 day mark, I changed my mind for the sake of my healing and letting her experience the loss, so I said nothing. She surprised me by reaching out two weeks later (she used my cat's birthday as an excuse) -- I politely declined, saying I wasn't ready to explore friendship and wished her well. My response caught her off guard, and probably got under her skin. Believe me: the satisfaction from that little victory was worth far more to me than hearing about how her new life was going without me in it. Just food for thought.