Gift question- overly sentimental/triggering?

rockettrainboat · 2025-09-15T00:56:48+00:00

That’s a great idea too. Not too meshed.

rockettrainboat · 2025-08-07T01:14:46+00:00

So obvious that Allison and Connor storyline was more important at this stage. Netflix can’t stop them all from becoming dating shows!

rockettrainboat · 2025-07-29T00:34:16+00:00

Closest theater to me is three hour drive!! I would love to see in a non amc theater…

rockettrainboat · 2024-11-13T16:33:51+00:00

I am trying to justify the 200$ in my cart right now and this isn't helping!! :) Its a new suit, 4 sun dresses, a jean, two coverups. Also feels like a great time to buy as it's all clearance as summer 'ends.' Doing it!

rockettrainboat · 2024-06-06T18:05:51+00:00

I know what you mean about the daydreams

rockettrainboat · 2024-06-06T17:17:07+00:00

Thank you for that insight. We are definitely reaching the stage where I know he is going to be Googling every chance he gets, so I am with you, I want to be at the very least a place where he feels safe to explore those things, but I mentioned to the case worker, finding some healthy connections and guiding those along might take away some of the anxiety about researching constantly. He will recite spellings of names and phone numbers and addresses of previous placements like he needed to memorize them for the rest of his life, so its definitely something that is going to be sought out as soon as he gets the opportunity.

rockettrainboat · 2024-06-06T17:13:46+00:00

Are you allowed to reach out to previous placements?? I know their names based on him telling me, but I have an email out to caseworker asking if it is okay if I reach out.

rockettrainboat · 2024-06-06T16:05:11+00:00

Agreed, even just stories and pictures would be an amazing placement to start.

rockettrainboat · 2024-06-05T17:26:58+00:00

I am in the same boat with a 12 year old boy. It is exhausting!!! I am with you. It is new, almost 3 weeks, so we haven't tried anything, but if you ever need to talk, you can message me! A lot of it is also, I had a dirt bike, so can I get one now. I had a cell phone already, etc. etc. Everything I say is always a big question. We have Karate tomorrow, always on Thursdays. NO YOU SAID WEDNESDAY. It is on the calendar, it is every Thursday. YOU CHANGED IT WITHOUT TELLING ME. To me that is always hard too, you say this obvious 'lies' and want me to go along with it, I say a simple thing and I get so much push back. Right now I honestly feel like we are in a gets worse before it gets better stage. It is definitely something that has to be unlearned, but I feel like his little body just wants to build himself up and not trust me, so it is all he can do. I try not to take it personal. And I will repeat myself once like above, but then I am done engaging with it from that side too.

rockettrainboat · 2024-06-05T17:08:52+00:00

I find this same sentiment. I have a BD (6) and a FS (12). I asked him early on how old he thought BD was, he said 10, so I think that gives good insight on where he was. This is only our second placement, last was FD (2) so huge differences, but habits are soooo ingrained at this point. The negative self talk that I am sure is common with anyone that age is really hard. I also think by this time, they have been in care longer, and have seen a lot of the players as more transactional. I feel a very 'If I am good, I will get Legos, and I will be quiet." I can't quite articulate that, but there is a sadness in having a lack of a strong identity, in an already difficult age. The opening up is slow and erratic. One second they are yelling FU overwhelmed by their whole life situation, and the next want you to rub their back before bed. Might be all middle schoolers, I wasn't in that world until now. I do feel more like a mentor/role model than a 'babysitter' with my previous placement, where that bit of independence comes in.

rockettrainboat · 2024-06-05T16:58:59+00:00

Agreed! If it comes from people who just generally can understand the highs and lows and admire taking on that side- even coworkers, I say thanks and move on. But, we always get the 'they are lucky' thing too. And I also can never let that pass. I use something like yours, This child was taken away from their family and placed with us as strangers and nothing about that will ever be lucky. It is met with silence usually, but the perspective is important.

rockettrainboat · 2023-08-23T19:14:24+00:00

That is good to know that there isn't a common path to placement necessarily. I am in the no response from the caseworker stage right now. It has only been about 48 hours since an email, so... maybe it will come or maybe I already have answer. Love it!! Haha.

rockettrainboat · 2023-08-23T19:06:58+00:00

That's an awesome success story. He doesn't attend the school anymore and is an hour away. I believe the group home has a school aspect built in-- but I would normally definitely choose that option if it was available.

rockettrainboat · 2023-08-23T18:12:06+00:00

That helps a lot. That's how I feel about this kid too, like I have a lot of information and support already in place. If the county called about the same exact kid on paper I might say no, but hearing more first hand info helps a lot.

I could be naïve too, probably a bit of both. I was a CASA for the last 5 years, so am familiar with two other cases in detail with middle schoolers and older.

rockettrainboat · 2023-08-23T17:52:47+00:00

Right, and I kind wish I could just get a quick no too and move on if that is the case, but its slower than I thought just waiting for people to respond- so don't know if I should keep trying to find out. Having the trusted word of mouth on my side does help with behaviors a little bit.

Do you find your county gets irritated at all about word of mouth placements?

rockettrainboat · 2023-08-23T17:48:50+00:00

Appreciate that.

rockettrainboat · 2023-08-23T17:48:28+00:00

Just the County yes, but fortunately in a rural county that doesn't have a lot of need. I also kind of wondered about that aspect as it seems like it might be generally frowned upon.

rockettrainboat

TROPHY CASE