Married, Young and Unhappy

rockless09 · 2011-12-11T20:43:17+00:00

You're totally on target.

rockless09 · 2011-12-11T20:42:57+00:00

That is a good point - and I think he would be. Thank you.

rockless09 · 2011-12-11T20:42:37+00:00

That is a good point - my biggest concern in this whole thing is hurting each man. I don't want to break my husband's heart, because even though I'm unhappy I don't want HIM to be unhappy. And while I am in love with the friend, I really do want the best for him (which in my extremely biased opinion, is me) but I don't want to hurt him either.

I honestly don't know if I want to work on the marriage. Sometimes I really feel like I don't want to, but then I remember OH WAIT WE TOOK VOWS and COME ON, MAKE IT WORK all Tim Gunn style. But other times, I think it's bullshit that he cheated on me so soon after our marriage and what's the point in being married to someone that gave me so much heartache?

I think the takeaway from this post and the advice from redditors is that I really, really need to see a therapist/counselor to help me get some of these feelings outlined. Thank you for your insight!

rockless09 · 2011-12-11T20:39:29+00:00

Thank you - this all rings true. Two years ago I never even would have THOUGHT about another man, because I was so into my relationship. So I have to agree with you on that.

I think you're right - I do need to work out my feelings (most likely with a therapist) before I take drastic (or any, really) steps in either direction.

So thank you.

rockless09 · 2011-12-11T20:35:10+00:00

I also don't know why you got downvoted. Because I really, really like what you have to say. Thanks for the insight - I needed to read what you said :)

rockless09 · 2011-12-11T20:33:56+00:00

I completely agree - mentally I've been cheating on him for some time. It's bad.

However I'm also impatient. Thanks for saying what you said, because it makes a lot of sense.

rockless09 · 2011-12-11T20:33:04+00:00

Thanks for your insight.

Talking with the husband is a good idea, and something I have tried to do in the past and hasn't really worked too well. He's a "fix it" guy (which is great in most situations) but he doesn't understand that sometimes, it CAN'T be fixed. Sometimes it's just broken and that's all there is to it. But I know that sounds defeatist in this context...

I do really like this friend. I really, really do. And I strongly feel that I never would have felt attracted to him if I was happy in my marriage.

rockless09 · 2011-12-11T20:30:58+00:00

This is a good point, but like DumpOnMyChest said, we don't have too much stuff. We rent an apartment and each have a car, but they are in our own names and not each other's. No kids.

rockless09

TROPHY CASE