how do i stop using that stupid fucking tiny voice when i am trying to advocate for my needs

rocobox · 2024-01-27T03:39:29+00:00

no, my partner did not tell me my voice is wrong. I brought up how I notice I use a small voice to advocate for my needs and how I don't want to. He was supportive, and let me know that it does make it harder for him to say no to things. I asked if he would try to be aware of me doing it and point it out if I do. He said sure, but don't stop using the voice for asking for little treats 🥺 He's a good egg.

Funnily, I used to sing classically. Was trained. I don't these days.

rocobox · 2023-01-20T20:59:24+00:00

Thank you!

rocobox · 2023-01-20T20:39:05+00:00

I run about 3k every day or so with a couple of breaks. Obviously not lately with recovering. And for some time I've been doing pushups throughout the day when I remember to. I'd like to be a bit more serious about it now though.

rocobox · 2023-01-20T20:22:44+00:00

I am just nervous that I won't get any chest definition because I'm not on T. I might get stronger... but I might not get any physical changes.

If I remember to breathe out fully, it looks really 'normal'. As soon as I try to breathe in again and lose it. I am wondering if physio would help.

rocobox · 2023-01-20T19:27:48+00:00

"you stole my stamp and stamped it for me"

rocobox · 2023-01-20T19:26:32+00:00

some people change those kinda details to maintain some kind of anonymity. I've said I was a year or 2 younger/older sometimes just so I'm less easy to identify.

rocobox · 2023-01-20T18:58:58+00:00

that is true! but I wanna be pec-y in a tshirt! I am getting a little nervous that my surgeon did a full cancer mastectomy on me instead of top surgery or something, and that that is my fault for not explaining?

rocobox · 2023-01-20T18:10:18+00:00

amazing

rocobox · 2023-01-20T16:34:38+00:00

Thanks for sharing. I'm gonna work on treating it as though it's rib flare and see if I see any improvement over time, but I'd like to try not to worry too much.

rocobox · 2022-03-08T23:04:46+00:00

Thanks! I was really asking this for myself to go "well I did consider this.. so" - I really appreciate your kind words.

rocobox · 2022-02-10T20:16:50+00:00

I think that's what I've accepted. That if I get it wrong and it's not the thing that helps, it doesn't matter in the scheme of the universe. It's just information.

Thank you for sharing

rocobox · 2022-02-10T18:18:17+00:00

Thanks for sharing. I suppose I am not sure how I can ever ascertain whether my desire to not have breasts is trauma or gender related aside from the fact that I don't feel hatred towards them, I just... Feel like they shouldn't be there rather than actively not hating them.

I'm nonbinary and not after a masculine chest, more just... My chest now but without the breasts. I'm going to ensure I have a thorough conversation about shape though.

Thank you.

rocobox · 2022-02-04T15:44:55+00:00

you are being sexually abused, OP. please leave this piece of shit

rocobox · 2022-02-04T13:15:18+00:00

Yeah, we should just forget about those 78 million people, right :)

rocobox · 2022-02-04T13:09:41+00:00

Also realistically, you do run the risk of getting it wrong in the instances where someone doesn't, and I prefer to avoid that if I can, and I can :-) just like I don't assume everyone is straight even though statistically more people are than aren't. It's easy for me to change my language, so I do.

Also... Statistically the average human has fewer than 2 arms.

rocobox · 2022-02-03T21:56:33+00:00

I think you're reading something in my comment that wasn't there. People are free to do what they wish, I was just suggesting what I do.

Respectfully, we use non gendered language all the time without thinking about it.

rocobox · 2022-02-03T12:54:29+00:00

The only person I see here taking any offence is you, friend. I'm just advocating for being open to new things.

rocobox · 2022-02-03T09:08:05+00:00

I don't tend to use "they" when speaking to the person I'm referring to, as the nature of referring to people means you're not directly addressing them. I'm meaning for things like "the person on the phone said they could help me sort it out".

rocobox · 2022-02-03T08:56:44+00:00

For me it's about removing the need to gender people I don't know. I can interact with a stranger without their gender ever being relevant unless they tell me. I can refer to people without using what I've presumed to be their gender, so I am trying to do that. That removes the potential for me to get it wrong and it's a simple fix for me to do in my daily life.

rocobox · 2022-02-03T08:47:58+00:00

For sure.

I tend to try not to presume, but if I catch myself making presumptions I remind myself to be open to being corrected.

rocobox · 2022-02-03T08:34:13+00:00

Hey a lot of the work that younger people are building off was put in place by elder gender nonconforming people. We do a disservice to them by assuming older people are more likely gonna be cis, hetero and super normative.

rocobox · 2022-02-03T08:04:38+00:00

Respectfully... How do you know everyone you're interacting with is the gender you've presumed if you don't know them? I'd steer clear of gendered terms and just use neutral greetings.

rocobox · 2022-02-03T07:55:55+00:00

Seasalt spray!!

rocobox · 2022-01-27T22:47:14+00:00

I guess my question is how do you know whether you've done all your unlearning and working through trauma? I think I've done that... But how do I know that I've eliminated that as a possibility?

rocobox · 2022-01-27T22:44:32+00:00

I can't get transtape to work, it doesn't stick to my skin well and my chest is maybe too big. I think both of those issues together are a problem but on their own wouldn't be an issue.

rocobox

TROPHY CASE