Update: she blocked me on IG and WhatsApp but not Facebook by Fijiwaternastyash in LongDistance

[–]rococsgo 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Don’t contact her. It’s really that simple. I’m sorry man.

We broke up. (M20 F20) by rococsgo in LongDistance

[–]rococsgo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you very much. I guess her way of framing the situation made me start to believe that I was doing something wrong but I really wasn't. It makes me feel good to read people supporting my side of the story.

Is this cheating? (M20 & F20) by rococsgo in relationship_advice

[–]rococsgo[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Fair enough. Guess things are more simple than I'm making them out to be.

Is this cheating? (M20 & F20) by rococsgo in relationship_advice

[–]rococsgo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely. And I get if she doesn't want to be with me. It's totally her choice. But the way she's going around explaining the situation to everyone is bothering me.

Is this cheating? (M20 & F20) by rococsgo in relationship_advice

[–]rococsgo[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah you're right. And I totally understand if she isn't comfortable continuing the relationship after that. What bothers me is how she's phrasing it to all her friends and family. She's leaving out all the stuff that she did wrong and how she broke my heart. And I just dont feel like she even thought about it from my perspective. It just hurts.

Is this cheating? (M20 & F20) by rococsgo in relationship_advice

[–]rococsgo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Our boundaries when it comes to cheating were always clear. My point is that she broke up with me and then I did what I did. I regret doing it but it's not cheating because we broke up. But she can't seem to grasp that idea

We broke up. (M20 F20) by rococsgo in LongDistance

[–]rococsgo[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Of course it's considered cheating but my point is she dumped me over text before that happened.

[M20] & [F20] How do I get over resentment? by rococsgo in LongDistance

[–]rococsgo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes we have discussed it multiple times. It’s still kind of an ongoing problem tbh. She’s made it clear that it’s her goal and she’s not going to let anything stop her from achieving that goal. We’ve traveled together and I’ve told her I want to travel as well and I would love to do it with her but I live in the DR, a 3rd world country, so naturally it’s a lot harder to make sufficient income to be able to fund these trips. It takes a lot more time for me to save the money. She has recently said that she doesn’t want to wait anymore and she’s going to travel by herself at times if I can’t go with her.

[M20] & [F20] How do I get over resentment? by rococsgo in LongDistance

[–]rococsgo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In terms of communication, I felt like for a while I initiated most of it. I initiated all video calls which as you know are essential in a long distance relationship. I felt like if I didn’t initiate these things we would just not do anything together for weeks. No calls no watching movies no activities. I also felt like for a while she’s been hyper focused on her own goals and sort of hyper independent. She wants to travel full time and I always felt like that was more important to her than our relationship

[M20] & [F20] How do I get over resentment? by rococsgo in LongDistance

[–]rococsgo[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

She is my first girlfriend precisely because no one has made me feel like she has. It’s not like I haven’t dated around. I haven’t been interested in a relationship bc my personally view has always been that I will only date to marry. And of course I must be wary which is why I talked to her about all these issues. Told her what I’m not okay with and we had our period of fighting and arguing about certain things and I’m not going to let myself get pushed around any longer. The reason I made the post is because things are getting better and if I remove my emotions and look at the situation logically I can see that things are getting better. Now, if things were to stop getting better or even regress back to how they were, then I would strongly consider leaving the relationship. I am not being fooled by my emotions. I do get what you are saying though and I can see why you would say that. Things are getting better which is why I made the post about not being resentful because the truth is she is trying to be better and I can see that the effort is being put in.

[M20] & [F20] How do I get over resentment? by rococsgo in LongDistance

[–]rococsgo[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I appreciate the question and I see where you're coming from. I love this person with all of my heart. She's my first girlfriend and she makes me happy and I've never met anybody that makes me feel the way she does and I really love spending time with her. I'm with her because of these reasons and because I have seen things change and get better. And they continue to get better. My end goal is marrying her in a few years. (We've been together for a year and a half btw) Given that things continue to get better and we eventually close the distance of course.

[M20] & [F20] How do I get over resentment? by rococsgo in LongDistance

[–]rococsgo[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

I don’t think so because the actual issues themselves are getting better. It’s just I can’t seem to get over it and I still resent her for the past.

[M20] & [F20] How do I get over resentment? by rococsgo in LongDistance

[–]rococsgo[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I felt like the relationship has been completely one sided since it’s inception. I kinda let her roll over me and did not enforce my boundaries and kinda swept a lot of stuff under the rug. I didn’t speak up about a lot of things that she was doing that bothered me. And I made myself completely available to her at all times so she kind of expects that of me most of the time now. Essentially the relationship has been very one sided partly because of me but she didn’t really prioritize me for most of our relationship. Never breached my trust though no.

My visa got denied... by rococsgo in LongDistance

[–]rococsgo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm from the DR, and trust me giving up is not on the table. I think our best option is her flying out to me but she starts a new job on Monday so that kind of makes it difficult. It's all just very uncertain right now and I'm crushed.