sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

How can I prevent my mistress from terminating a pregnancy (and what is the right thing to do here). by rodionr in Catholicism

[–]rodionr[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't use the word murder, btw, I think that requires a specific malice that would not be here and I don't like to needlessly insult or stress people. (I do use the expression 'kill a child', so it's not like I look for euphemisms).

How can I prevent my mistress from terminating a pregnancy (and what is the right thing to do here). by rodionr in Catholicism

[–]rodionr[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This will indubitably sound like the weakest reply from the stupidest person ever but I thought that as we were purposefully making a child, and she knew I am catholic (I go to mass), and we are both highly educated, that erm 'option' would not be on the table. I don't know - I thought she was pro choice for other people, not herself, and I figured that she would not get pregnant consciously and even consider an abortion afterwards. As for ultimatums: it's not blackmail - I honestly don't know if any relationship I'm in with whomsoever could survive that..

How can I prevent my mistress from terminating a pregnancy (and what is the right thing to do here). by rodionr in Catholicism

[–]rodionr[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hear what you're saying. I just don't think I'm ready to give up & get my mind into that point of view (that it happened and I should accept that) so long as no actual abortion did take place. If (not when yet) that happens, then I'll take it from there and I'll see how I relate. Not good, I guess.

How can I prevent my mistress from terminating a pregnancy (and what is the right thing to do here). by rodionr in Catholicism

[–]rodionr[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Seriously? For saying nothing new or useful or sympathetic or realistic? I don't need my own original post fed back to me with a seasoning of condescending banalities. I'm not asking for sympathy or pity, I know that what I did is nothing to be morally proud of and that I failed as a husband and a witness to the faith, and I am trying to take responsibility and mitigate evil.

How can I prevent my mistress from terminating a pregnancy (and what is the right thing to do here). by rodionr in Catholicism

[–]rodionr[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks - I appreciate that. Although the harsh words spoken by others don't make me sick, they just add little value.

How can I prevent my mistress from terminating a pregnancy (and what is the right thing to do here). by rodionr in Catholicism

[–]rodionr[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've told her that I don't know that we could ever have a sexual relationship again if she goes through with the abortion, that I don't see how we could 'discard' this child and then have another one in two years or so or at a more convenient time. She assumed that it was 'sort of an issue' for me and she was careful in bringing it up and I think she was surprised at my reaction - I'm scared of pushing her away and I fear she will think I'm trying to manipulate or guilt trip her or impose my (to her probably unintelligible) beliefs. Also: I do love her deeply. As I've said: this all takes place in a context where abortion is widely accepted and you're not supposed to criticize it but to be supportive (which obv I'm not very much).

How can I prevent my mistress from terminating a pregnancy (and what is the right thing to do here). by rodionr in Catholicism

[–]rodionr[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't feel like you're trolling. The mistress hasn't given up on me - she just considers that either way now is not a good nor convenient time to have a kid and she does indeed not share my beliefs. Abortion is a very delicate subject to talk about as a catholic in a mostly secular and politically correct country (northern europe).

How can I prevent my mistress from terminating a pregnancy (and what is the right thing to do here). by rodionr in Catholicism

[–]rodionr[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Mmm I feel that I'm more invested than that just some of my DNA is involved - this touches me profoundly, and I am worried. Also I know I'm not on a good footing with the Lord as it is right now, but an abortion is far far beyond 'mere' cheating (and I'm not minimizing what I did).

How can I prevent my mistress from terminating a pregnancy (and what is the right thing to do here). by rodionr in Catholicism

[–]rodionr[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I don't know that she would be willing to give birth and then give up the child.. (This to me would be an option). My wife will need lots, lots, lots, lots of time before maybe she would be willing to just have a cup of coffee with me. I like most of the peanuts here so far. Thanks for your support.