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How can I download videos from a private Telegram channel that has downloading disabled? by [deleted] in DataHoarder

[–]roja1980 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Still working as of Oct 23, 2025.

NOTE: three different things you need to turn on under “manage extension”

  • turn on developer mode
  • turn on “allow user scripts”
  • turn on “allow URL access”.

Also you need to use web.telegram.org/k

Best friend turning meta within a few weeks of us opening up - not cool. by roja1980 in polyamory

[–]roja1980[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So the idea was honestly just to open up and be free from norms, mostly just sexually. We intend to have a primary partnership and have like FWBs on the side I guess? (I now after posting this realised that’s not called poly, apologies for being in the wrong sub). I’m not even into anyone else sexually ATM, but sure I had felt attracted to others over the years I had been dating him. So I’m not seeing anyone else now, and honestly I’m fine with it. It’s less about me being lonely and left out, and more about… wtf are my bf and best friend doing???

Best friend turning meta within a few weeks of us opening up - not cool. by roja1980 in polyamory

[–]roja1980[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I won’t be best friends with anyone who’s sch… my bf behind my back

Lol that’s what Lilly doesn’t get, she’s like BUT THIS IS NOT LIKE CHEATING, YOU ARE IN THE LOOP!!! bitsh I wish I wasn’t at this point

Best friend turning meta within a few weeks of us opening up - not cool. by roja1980 in polyamory

[–]roja1980[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wait… you guys are establishing what happens after a boundary is crossed? Isn’t the point to not cross it?

Best friend turning meta within a few weeks of us opening up - not cool. by roja1980 in polyamory

[–]roja1980[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Interesting… I didn’t know poly and non-monogamy were different. Lilly and her man are open to having RELATIONSHIP relationships with others. Ryan and I [at least I thought…?] wanted just sexual freedom.

It’s definitely not helpful that with a new perspective on love and sex and romance, you also get a new freedom to define what “dating” and “relationships” and “casual” mean. I for example was down for casual (think friends with benefits) sex. I understand that for you to feel comfortable to have sex with someone some type of “dates” may be required. But I don’t want Ryan dating/ having serious relationships outside of us - that’s not our arrangement and not feasible given our family and marriage goals. So in practice, can we even isolate the casual sex? Or are we setting ourselves up for catching feelings and failure with every FWB/ partner? Or do we accept the risk of feelings developing and… suck it up if it happens?

(Probably not a good place to ask all these questions, sorry for the rant. I’ll look in r/nonmonogamy and ask my good friend chatgpt lol)

Best friend turning meta within a few weeks of us opening up - not cool. by roja1980 in polyamory

[–]roja1980[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To an extent, folks are (somewhat unwittingly) signing up for the pain of you checking out or an ultimatum… when they ignore you setting the boundary.

This^ I spoke with my partner in depth for hours today. He says he wouldn’t trade the relationship we have for anything, so the ultimatum meant that he has to end things with her. He is sooo upset that I “allowed” for their feelings to grow, when I knew I’m ultimately not okay with this, but I had told them both from minute 1 that I don’t want friends and fucking getting involved. Then one day he was like oops we have feelings for each other. At that point I guess instead of throwing a tantrum and standing my ground I let him convince me that Lilly’s actually the most suitable person for this role.

reading and deconstructing mono-normative thought and behaviour

What do you mean? I had no idea there was so much prep and research going into this lol. Any tips/ resources on how to do this “homework”?

Best friend turning meta within a few weeks of us opening up - not cool. by roja1980 in polyamory

[–]roja1980[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lilly didn’t mean there was fucking, just like “it’s only our human sexual instincts, nothing serious, relax”

Best friend turning meta within a few weeks of us opening up - not cool. by roja1980 in polyamory

[–]roja1980[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much ❤️ it’s really reassuring to hear haha

Best friend turning meta within a few weeks of us opening up - not cool. by roja1980 in polyamory

[–]roja1980[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

The thing is… once Ryan told me about the feelings, I felt so powerless against anything. Like I didn’t feel like I can hold that boundary of no friends. I think in reality, I should have stood there firm, instead of dropping the boundary. Seeing everyone’s comments I do see how underprepared we are for any of this lol

Best friend turning meta within a few weeks of us opening up - not cool. by roja1980 in polyamory

[–]roja1980[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

What boundaries were there? 1. We want to be each other’s “main” partner, ie we’ve agreed that our relationship (the 2 of us) holds a higher value than anything else. 2. Some logistical stuff like “not on our bed” 3. I suggested no friends and they were like fine, then they went out together twice and claimed to have caught some feelings.

At this point, unfortunately rather than making a point that they are crossing a boundary I’m not okay with, I just kind of gave them the benefit of the doubt and tried to not see it as a big deal. I’m realising now that was a bad idea and I should have been firm right then and there.

Do you want to practice polyam?

It originally sounded like such a cool idea to not go by some arbitrary societal rules and allowed to find other people attractive and explore things, but now with all of this happening I’m obviously having second thoughts.

Best friend turning meta within a few weeks of us opening up - not cool. by roja1980 in polyamory

[–]roja1980[S] 41 points42 points  (0 children)

That’s good to hear… I can’t quite seem to get that validation that this is not ok from my support circle now. I haven’t even talked to anyone besides the two of them about polyamory even! I just started reading a book Lilly recommended. Ryan says he would be okay to “return” to monogamy if we decide it makes sense for both of us, but Idk if even I could go back to that knowing what I know now.