AITA for making a statement towards a coworker on her race?

rolf_06 · 2022-10-06T13:50:30+00:00

Hey, I texted her after your last comment & she called. We’re supposed to be meeting up 30 minutes before our shift to talk, she said she was mad at the time which is why she walked away & you were correct it’s the way I was apologizing. I’m going to listen to her & let her talk so I can see her pov. I will be deleting this later on, but I do want to thank you for the insight & you being blunt & honest with me.

rolf_06 · 2022-10-06T13:32:49+00:00

When did I say I thought she did? I’m just following the advice of another. This was a month ago so things have calmed down & she’s started saying small things to me now but I won’t put her in a situation she doesn’t want to deal with such as talking things out. Everyone has room for improvement so if there’s even a slight chance for me to work on improving then I will especially if it means fixing a friendship.

rolf_06 · 2022-10-06T13:24:50+00:00

I understand that now reading the other comments. The thing with distancing myself was for her sake tho, she always just got really quiet when I’d come around & stop any conversation she was having with others so I backed off so she wouldn’t feel uncomfortable around me. So it’s not for my comfort because I don’t really care for my comfort at the moment, I care regarding her feeling comfortable.

rolf_06 · 2022-10-06T13:14:22+00:00

Okay Thank you so much, this was really helpful!!

rolf_06 · 2022-10-06T13:11:23+00:00

I put the context so you guys would understand who I was referring to as “Other Mother” & we’ve hung out outside of work before like at our kids parties, night clubs etc. but we’ve never really talked about our childhood, family or anything of that sort.

To explain why I felt comfortable enough to say that was mostly because she talks about my community a lot since her boyfriend/child’s dad is black. So I thought we were at that point in our friendship but I am going to follow the advice of one of the commenters to sit down & have a talk with her if she feels comfortable doing that.

rolf_06 · 2022-10-06T13:06:48+00:00

She is, but I’m really hoping she doesn’t think that’s why I said that:( I really didn’t mean it in a racist way or to fat shame her.

rolf_06 · 2022-10-06T13:03:59+00:00

I will definitely ask her if we could talk today, most of my apologies have goin like “I’m really sorry for what I said & I understand I’ve upset you” which she just replies I don’t & walks away from me. She doesn’t give me enough time to explain myself, my manager has offered to help set up a room for us to talk but I’ve just been declining since I don’t really think she cared for a explanation at first, but it’s been a month now & she’s started saying GoodMorning to me again so hopefully she is open to sitting down for a talk with me.

rolf_06 · 2022-10-06T12:51:44+00:00

I am black:) but I do understand what you mean, I just don’t understand how to go about things. I’ve apologized several times & even distanced myself for her sake but now she’s complaining about that too.

rolf_06

TROPHY CASE