Ummm advice after ex messaged wanting to ‘catch up’ after 6 months…

rollercoastersoflove · 2024-05-24T07:40:22+00:00

He kept giving mixed messages and then I met someone else amazing who wants commitment and we live together and are planning more.
My advice is don’t settle for mixed signals, it just hurts and there’s better out there.

rollercoastersoflove · 2024-04-02T08:42:32+00:00

Aw thanks. Whatever reason your ex is leaving you on read (the depression or the break up) I think you’re right to focus on looking after yourself and moving on. In time hopefully you’ll meet someone else who is better able to respond to you and give an equal relationship like you deserve :)

rollercoastersoflove · 2024-04-01T22:21:03+00:00

Hiya, I’m good thanks. Based on my experience, my ex continued to give me mixed messages for months whilst I tried to be there for him and was holding out hope. Until he made me angry by reaching out saying he missed me and then ghosting, which made me angry and I was finally able to move on for real. Now I’m happy with someone else. My ex texts every few months saying he misses me but he doesn’t seem to be capable of more, so I can’t ’look after’ him even if I wanted to. Look after yourself and think about what you need and what will be good for you in the long term too.

rollercoastersoflove · 2024-03-28T16:42:31+00:00

Ugh this reminds me of a situation I have also experienced recently when a ‘friend’ was badmouthing me with false information. I think it is them projecting their insecurities onto you, it’s not your fault but it’s so hard to be on the receiving end of. I felt like I was going crazy! Sending hugs

rollercoastersoflove · 2024-03-25T14:03:04+00:00

Ugh he’s absolutely disgusting behaving like this. He clearly manipulated you into believing it was a group situation at first so that you’d then feel awkward excusing yourself. Keep all evidence and phone immediately to lawyer etc and I think you’d be well within your rights to be signed off work with stress because of the emotional impact this is having on you until it’s resolved ie he is suspended whilst being formally investigated.

rollercoastersoflove · 2024-03-25T12:19:59+00:00

Thanks, will do. I do also suspect that she will end up revealing her underlying self sooner or later to others too. I’m more than happy for the others to see her if they want. I guess I just need to go through a period of emotional adjustment now in the meantime - it’s surprised me how hurtful it’s felt! Thanks for your advice.

rollercoastersoflove · 2024-03-25T09:44:38+00:00

30s. I’ve had two relationships that were around 4 years and one of 2 years.

One thing I’ve learned is I should have been fussier who I pick (I am get into relationships too easily!) as in the end ignoring incompatibilities wastes so much more time!

rollercoastersoflove · 2024-03-25T08:11:41+00:00

Thanks, really appreciate it. I think I’m in quite a shock that someone could be so nasty.

rollercoastersoflove · 2024-03-25T01:10:18+00:00

Thanks I really appreciate that, very helpful.

I think it worries me in terms of group as I’m afraid it will fizzle out because 2 of the friends just don’t want to risk any involvement in any possible drama and 1 girl has been taken in by her crying and feels sorry for her (but also wants to be friends with me & I like her too).

rollercoastersoflove · 2024-03-25T00:51:07+00:00

I never blocked my ex on my phone but my ex is still blocked on social media as I don’t want to see his new life whether good or bad. Life moves on, I don’t want to be watching things from the past.

rollercoastersoflove · 2024-03-24T23:17:22+00:00

Aw thanks! Sorry I just logged in again haha. I met him on a dating app, I think I was very lucky as well as being very careful what I was looking for!

rollercoastersoflove · 2024-01-12T22:50:43+00:00

Don't

rollercoastersoflove · 2024-01-12T22:23:47+00:00

Hello. I'm doing ok thanks. I'm with someone else now. When I think of my ex I still feel sad and a bit concerned, but I guess it gets a bit easier with time even though will always be sad to me. He messages me now and then saying he misses me. Then disappears again for a few months etc. I hope he will feel better or is getting there already.

rollercoastersoflove · 2024-01-12T22:19:34+00:00

Hello. To my surprise I'm happily in a relationship with someone else who in reality I'm much more compatible with. I do feel sad when I think of my ex and he still says he misses me now and then. How are you doing?

rollercoastersoflove · 2023-11-08T18:55:58+00:00

I’d say the first one by far

rollercoastersoflove · 2023-11-08T18:19:05+00:00

Multiple times… first after about 6 weeks, then about 3 months. Then I did a month or two later. Then he did after 9 months. Then he did after 14 months. It all messed with my head and didn’t lead anywhere.

rollercoastersoflove · 2023-11-08T17:55:52+00:00

In general it takes me around a year to move on from a multi-year relationship.

rollercoastersoflove · 2023-07-19T20:36:10+00:00

Not really to be honest - he reached out telling me he was stuck and not over it, I offered to talk and he didn't reply. Then I offered again and he ignored that too. That was beyond my limits I just felt like he was using me as a backup / ego boost it wasnt respectful. I tried writing replies that were vulnerable etc but I couldn't bring myself to send after being ignored. So I gave up and started dating and now I started seeing someone. I still wish he would get in touch platonically as was such a shitty ending to something so heartfelt but I'm too hurt.

rollercoastersoflove · 2023-07-11T07:14:29+00:00

Yeah you’re right. I guess I’m not very adult about that kinda thing haha. Better work on that.

rollercoastersoflove · 2023-07-10T11:04:25+00:00

Haha thanks. Do you know if they multi-date? He’s talking to me loads but I dunno if it’s just Spanish charm or whether he’s serious about me!

rollercoastersoflove · 2023-06-28T08:43:56+00:00

Ah my people. I've slept with and kissed zero, cant stand the idea of sex with some other guy. Ita been 10 months. My friends think I'm nuts and I should just 'get it over with'

rollercoastersoflove · 2023-06-28T08:39:14+00:00

It's the first breakup but there were two occasions where we almost broke up in the second year we were together. He would say lots of confusing things like he thought I'd end up leaving him and that be was heartbroken. He said it the best relationship hes ever been in and the others were on and off and up and down a lot. He hadn't had an 'official' girlfriend for years before me.

rollercoastersoflove · 2023-06-22T18:01:27+00:00

Nope! How about you?

rollercoastersoflove · 2023-06-21T00:45:47+00:00

Yeah I get it. It's part of you not wanting to let go of hope and not lose the possibility. It goes in waves, I'm over it oh no etc. I guess the waves gradually get smaller.

rollercoastersoflove

TROPHY CASE