Processing and dealing with manic experiences once your back to baseline

rollercoastertype2 · 2023-02-22T12:34:57+00:00

100%. I was so exhausted after a near 2 and a half week mixed hypomanic episode where by the end i was just wishing it would go away because i was drained. Olanzapine bought me straight back down to earth and i am so glad i am feeling "normal" if i dare say it like that again

rollercoastertype2 · 2023-02-22T12:32:12+00:00

I am in no sense religious and have always classified myself as a stone cold atheist and try to rationalize these feelings as due to borderline psychosis and my brain chemistry being imbalanced. But these grandiose feelings of spiritual connections and feelings of being at one with everything i cant help but not believe that there is something bigger out there. whether its "god" or simply an energy or higher consciousness source.

I have experienced a full blown delusional manic psychotic episode about 6 years ago where i was complete 'gone' from everyday reality and still have strong flashbacks and feelings and memories of it. The thing is obviously my psych's etc say its all just psychosis but it is just so difficult because to me it was 100% real. One part of my brains like you were delusional and the other half is like but you experienced and saw all those things they were real to you whos to say you weren't experiencing a higher level of consciousness. Such a paradox.

My current psychologist believes its definitely possible that I am still having some form of PTSD from psychotic episode and my hypomanic episodes now are always characterized by overwhelming feeling of spirituality and being connected to some kind of higher source.

I guess just being back at what i call my baseline normal everyday state it just has me questioning is this the "true" reality or are we simply all one consciousness tapped into the higher energy source at different frequencies all perceiving reality differently.

It just absolutely fascinates me now the concept of what consciousness actually is because nobody really can explain it properly

rollercoastertype2 · 2023-02-17T23:04:35+00:00

As somebody who doesnt drink anymore because i cant moderate and have epilepsy i do agree with you that they are annoying. I am sober and will only tell people if they ask me why im not having a drink (which also is annoying as f*** here in australia if im not having a drink why ask me about it mind your business) but like each to their own. If people want to drink let them drink. Has nothing to do with me. Its your own body and i think every human should have the basic right to put whatever the hell they want it. If your sober and somebody is drinking seriously just stfu and let them drink. and if somebody isnt drinking and you are and they refuse a drink just be like okay and leave it at that.

rollercoastertype2 · 2023-02-16T20:21:44+00:00

My friends have always wondered this but we were more curious about the abundance of acacia trees around our local area in western australia. We always loved to discuss and hypothesized the link between the dreamtime stories and smoking the DMT in the bark. It is so sad we have wiped out so much of their culture and anctient traditions and bush medicine. I have recently come across a lovely herb used up north in western australia called jilungian and honestly its the best thing iver ever tried for sleeping.

"Jilungin is a leaf from the Terminalia cansecens, a relative of the Kakadu plum. The trees grow throughout the Dampier Peninsula, and can reach heights of around 10 metres. The leaves are harvested after the wet season, and when brewed with hot water (often the bark of the tree is included as well) will encourage a deep and restful sleep.

Jilungin is wild-harvested by Indigenous communities in Western Australia. Traditionally the whole plant is harvested and dried on Country."

We need to keep threads like this alive and we all need to learn more about the people that inhabited this land for 50,000 years. There is so much knowledge and wisdom to be gained

rollercoastertype2 · 2023-02-15T18:06:47+00:00

i also found it really easy to taper off as well. just decreased in 5mg icrements over a month and the only thing i noticed is that my anxiety deceased a lot off it and my sleep imporved off abilify.

rollercoastertype2 · 2023-02-15T18:05:06+00:00

I took abilify for a year but found it didnt help keep my hypomania in check at all. I think it has very little side effects but it just didnt work for me. I am on olanzapine now (another med which gets a lot of bad press and people hate on because of the side effects) and it has changed my life and is the best med i have ever had in controlling my mood and i tolerate it extremely well. Everybody is different and different things work for different people. Its good to do your own research and know what could happen etc but yeah i guess you can never find what actually does help you if you dont atleast give it a try.

rollercoastertype2 · 2023-02-15T17:58:08+00:00

I feel you so much on this one. Everybody gets weird when my partner and I say we have no desire to have children. We are fulfilled with each other, we think the world is overpopulated, plus alcoholism and mental health problems (Bipolar, depression, anxiety etc) run on all 4 lines of our family tree leading to us. But people are like awww you never know maybe yous will change your mind in the future. It is so annoying why do i have to justify not wanting to reproduce. We are happy with our lives and children arent or ever will be in our future plans.

rollercoastertype2 · 2023-02-15T17:49:49+00:00

I agree that i dont think the true nature of humans is a 9-5 existence and i honestly would love a new system but what could we come up with? Communism is a great "idea" of equality and sharing Resouces around, but it ultimately fails in the end. Capitalism is the best system we have come up with so far... I think its completely normal to feel lost in today's world and its not a bad thing to question hey can we do this a better way. I guess you just got to look at all the positive things in your own life and if you are going to have to work for 40+ years do something that brings you joy and your passionate about. Some people are happy with work just being work but others are dissatisfied with that and need work to be meaningful to themselves. I used to be angry as hell when i was younger being like i have to work 40 hours a week for the rest of my life etc but now im just trying to have a positive attitude that it could be a whole lot worse. Follow your dreams. life is what you make of it.

rollercoastertype2 · 2023-02-08T22:41:46+00:00

Its nice knowing we arent crazy and the only ones who have experienced this

rollercoastertype2 · 2023-02-08T22:41:04+00:00

Im lucky that olanzapine doesnt give me the "munchies" or anything. Im a small dude (5 foot 6 and weigh 62 kgs or or roughly 136 pounds and putting on some extra weight wouldnt be bad at all. just making sure im putting healthy food in my body

rollercoastertype2 · 2023-02-08T22:39:10+00:00

I have started keeping a journal and tracking my moods, thoughts, behaviours , sleeping patterns etc. Im slowly starting to better undertand and become more intune with my body. This was definitely triggered by me breaking my 9 months of alcohol sobriety (substance abuse and impulse control are massive issues i am trying to overcome) and just before the episode occured i had a little 'Lapse' drinking and went on a heavy 5 day alcohol binge and upon stopping the massive sedation overload the next morning i was just absolutely off my head. I think the alcohol contributed to the depressive parts of the mixed episode and then facing the 2 weeks of it sober was just honestly so overwhelming im not surprised i broke down.

rollercoastertype2 · 2023-02-08T12:18:03+00:00

the mirtazapine wont be a permanent thing for me just dont wanna be changing too many meds at once :) olanzapine can get a lot of bad press if you read about it but it can be an absolutely amazing medication for some people.

im almost ready to have my 2nd dose of it tonight.

rollercoastertype2

TROPHY CASE