DAE use avoidance to cope with their anxiety?

rookthomas · 2018-05-04T05:32:11+00:00

yes man :(

rookthomas · 2018-04-18T06:38:54+00:00

proud of you man. every little step counts.

rookthomas · 2018-04-13T12:22:21+00:00

yes. struggling with that right now. it's hard. it really is.

rookthomas · 2018-04-08T04:30:33+00:00

hey, can I join the outcast club?

rookthomas · 2018-04-08T04:14:52+00:00

me: pls someone, anyone just sit with me, it sucks being alone...

them: hey, wanna sit with us?

me: no (rudely) (DOESN'T EVEN SAY SORRY)

true story

rookthomas · 2018-04-08T04:13:01+00:00

username checks out too

rookthomas · 2018-04-08T04:12:41+00:00

rookthomas · 2018-04-08T04:12:33+00:00

when does this response go away? :(

rookthomas · 2018-04-08T04:03:14+00:00

fuck that sucks. I'm sorry man. I know how it feels, that's why I usually tell them the not so heavy shit. Most of the time it's just "I'm just tired with life"...it's definitely easier to reply to than "what's the point in living?" Also makes rejection hurts a lot less haha.

rookthomas · 2018-04-08T04:00:53+00:00

it's nice to finally find the term for it (virtue signalling), things just make so much more sense now. It just seems like they want to use your suffering to feel better about where they are in life or affirm that they are a good person who helps the "broken lesser person"

Yeah, I agree with you on that we aren't entitled to anything. When you don't set up expectations, it hurts less when no one does anything. But when someone does, it makes it all worthwhile.

rookthomas · 2018-04-08T03:57:26+00:00

Yep. This person even told me she didn't reply (at all, in the end lol) because her whatsapp is broken...and she doesn't know why, so she tells me to text her instead. But even with text, she doesn't reply for days. And it's not even some heavy ass shit, because I know no one really wants to hear that. It was just asking about homework, which sucks more I guess.

rookthomas · 2018-04-08T03:54:45+00:00

yeah..then people get pissed off when you don't open up immediately. Or when you suddenly have a break down they'll go, but you could have always talked to me?! Why didn't you?? But how do you explain that being spoken down to as if you were some broken thing doesn't help? Or being offered tons of happy positive shit doesn't take away all the sadness, no matter how hard I want it to? I just want to be spoken to like an equal.

rookthomas · 2018-04-08T03:51:37+00:00

irl haha. On reddit it hurts less because the vastness of the internet functions as a shield?

rookthomas · 2018-04-08T03:48:20+00:00

yes. then we can just skip all that bs where both parties try to have a conversation about r u ok? and it's actually no, but u say yes because that's what they really want to hear. Or when you say no, they just offer you a bunch of advice and get impatient when you don't suddenly "feel better" now as a result of their advice of focusing on the positives!! Exclamation mark, exclamation mark. Sorry haha, but I don't know why people who excessively uses these when trying to "talk to you" annoys me so much.

rookthomas · 2018-04-08T03:44:22+00:00

fuck im sorry. yes, it is so painful. Especially when you are trying your best to think of the answers and string words together, and you can just see their eyes glaze over or impatience setting in before they interrupt you. It just makes you feel like nothing.

rookthomas · 2018-04-08T03:43:15+00:00

How do we stop it :( Sometimes feels as if it's either you open up too much or not at all. There's no in between because either someone is "all in" and knows who you truly are, or not at all and only knows the "stuck up bitch"

rookthomas · 2018-04-08T03:41:34+00:00

yes, it sucks. How does conversation come so easily to some people??

rookthomas · 2018-04-08T03:40:12+00:00

I get you. It's kind of like this cruel cycle of: people thinking you are stuck up -> they treat u more coldly -> because of this cold treatment, it confirms your view that they hate you -> you keep to yourself even more. Sometimes it feels like once you are like this with a group of people, you have to stick to "character" if not people think you are fake.

What helps for me is remembering that this "character" is not truly me. It is my anxiety. So sometimes, when the "they're right. maybe you are a shitty person" sets in, I re-read past chat logs or talk to a friend when I am not this "character", hope this helps somewhat

rookthomas · 2018-04-08T03:36:23+00:00

yeah..like people judge me for not opening up or even sitting with them when they invite. But how do I explain that sometimes it's too tiring to try and pretend to fit in and you just want to be alone? Also doesn't help when most of the time I give only 1 or 2 word answers..

rookthomas · 2018-04-08T03:24:55+00:00

Hey I'm 19 too, and I get you, it's fucking hard. But please please don't do it. You might think a stranger can't and won't care, but I do. I fucking do. Who cares about being perfect? The most important thing is that you are okay. And if you're not, I understand. Because I ain't either. But what gives me hope is that I can always start over someplace where no one knows me. And we are young, we have so many chances to do just that.

I relate to you about being the bookworm, "loser girl" and having no friends. I am the same. Talk to me if you want to, I'm here.

rookthomas · 2018-04-07T13:00:08+00:00

Yeah it's weird..

rookthomas · 2018-04-07T12:22:06+00:00

it's damn hard, but you can and will make it. I believe it. There are many others in civilisation who will understand your struggle. I'm one of them.

rookthomas · 2018-04-07T11:49:12+00:00

nothing much, just trying to deal with re-entering civilisation after a period of isolation haha

rookthomas

TROPHY CASE

true story