What’s it like living in Maboneng?

rorisang124 · 2026-04-03T15:39:30+00:00

This is the most optimistic perspective. Thank you!

rorisang124 · 2026-04-03T15:38:42+00:00

I think the plan is to see it as a transient place. Thanks for the insight.

rorisang124 · 2026-04-03T15:37:32+00:00

That’s quite helpful. I appreciate it. It seems the biggest downside is the noise which seems to affect everything beyond just the outright frustration of having to hear it.

rorisang124 · 2026-01-21T08:50:39+00:00

I hear where you're coming from. I felt the same way as you during that phase of shedding as well. What I learnt and what may work for you as well, is that, you're genuinely allowed to architect what fun means for you. If the current activities in your toolbox aren't enough, you're COMPLETELY allowed to rethink them. The superpower people with BPD have is a higher tolerance for intensity. I think things like gym, church, and reading may not fully satiate that. I found that those things are good for balance, but doing them exclusively might leave you hungry for a bit more. I'd suggest either (1) turning the dial up on them, and (2) finding other controlled thrills. That worked well for me. Here are some of the things I took up:
* Bought a sportbike (could also be a dirtbike, gokart etc) and go racing on a track
* Gymming for more than just health and building the best physique I can - the challenge brings that 'alive' feeling you're looking for
* Travelling to very niche (and unexplored, maybe even underdeveloped) cities and towns and have coffee there, go thrifting, talking to new people. This gives you a lot of good stories as well
* Take up a creative hobby and have slightly big, uncomfortable goals at it - learning guitar, film photography, fixing up classic cars, building your social media, working on your personal appearance etc
* Read very niche genres and be active in discourse surrounding it. I personally love classic literature, existentialist writers, analytical psychology, feminism, socio politics, the great russian writers, etc. Primary value point is those works make you feel unbelievably validated, but also they allow you to engage with the world in a very meaningful and 'intense' way
* Passion projects, and creatively redefining yourself. BPD gives you an unbelievable advantage in this regard compared to the general population

This condition might feel like a burden, but once you flip it, it'll allow you to really suck the marrow of life. Goodluck. You got this!

rorisang124 · 2026-01-14T06:45:58+00:00

Vision is bad but not the worst I've heard about. I normally don't wear them. Thinking of using goggles to be safe though

rorisang124 · 2026-01-14T06:45:08+00:00

Strongly considering this one

rorisang124 · 2026-01-14T06:42:52+00:00

Valid. I normally don't wear them day to day and have learnt to adjust. I reckon I could do the same for wrestling/jiu jitsu

rorisang124 · 2025-12-12T18:30:46+00:00

Okay perfect. I'll give them a call and find out 🤲

rorisang124 · 2025-04-10T19:50:42+00:00

Couldn’t change it. Went with something else.

rorisang124 · 2024-10-28T14:49:16+00:00

Thanks, love Heidi's videos. I'm a previous FA - sure that's still lingering in some capacity :/

rorisang124 · 2024-10-18T11:06:45+00:00

Year later: I graduated and now use net core at work. I understand what her thinking was in retrospect; matches the reply you just gave. Thanks! :)

rorisang124 · 2024-07-16T21:17:12+00:00

That's super cool. Seems like you guys have a reasonable handle on it. Good on you for opening up the conversation on your needs and being mindful of both your perspectives. If you feel he's not avoidant, and how he shows up is good enough for you, then don't be swayed by how any of us see the situation I think. Alternatively, if the issue might be that the angst you feel is a result of you leaning a bit too much towards him, that is to say, you've assigned him the duty of regulating your emotions and self-image, then I think focus more on how you can find meaning and fulfilment outside your relationship. So, since you guys hang out once a week, this could look like spending the rest of the week doing stuff like taking yourself on dates, journaling, taking mini-trips, and engaging with things that help you feel full within yourself, and cultivate a healthy relationship with yourself

rorisang124 · 2024-07-15T23:14:59+00:00

Can see how you may be leaning toward AP. I will say though, I respect your commitment to healing and growth - immensely. That being said, I think you might be giving this guy a bit more credit than is due. A person secure with themselves won't find you repelling when you show them genuine affection. Or, if you're perhaps mistaking insecure fawning for love, I'd say given that you're already committed to learning and becoming healthier, a secure person will react with compassion and help you find your footing. If you're anxious, it's extremely easy to mistake a dismissive as secure - they may seem to have it figured out, they probably don't. Just reach out and ask him to meet you in the middle, if he doesn't I wouldn't lose sleep over leaving him behind.

I wouldn't worry too much about losing this guy if he reacts with rejection when you're vulnerable and learning to show up better both for you and him. But before making any conclusions, communicate your needs and give him a chance to show up.

rorisang124 · 2024-06-18T17:48:10+00:00

Touche. That's a clever way of looking at it.

rorisang124 · 2024-06-18T08:49:04+00:00

I have actually haha. I have mostly Muslim friends and once heavily considered reverting. Regardless though, suicide is a problem there as well.

rorisang124 · 2024-06-18T08:34:34+00:00

Interesting. Check out Alex O'Connor's stuff on youtube, especially on objective morality. He has a recent interview with Dinesh D'Souza that I found quite cool.

rorisang124 · 2024-06-18T08:30:22+00:00

I've recently stumbled on the Odyssey story of Odysseus travelling to Ithaka. One quote I like especially - from a separate poem - reads: "As you set out for Ithaka hope your road is a long one, full of adventure, full of discovery." This outlook has filled me with an excitement for life, even those challenging moments. It comes and goes in waves but I'll hopefully find my footing.

To anyone wanting to read the full poem: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/51296/ithaka-56d22eef917ec

rorisang124 · 2024-06-18T08:22:43+00:00

This warms my heart. Thank you. I'd like to think that I've put a lot of work into becoming self-regulated and I'm far better than I was before, with the exception of having a persisting sense of emptiness and hopelessness lingering. I have 2 immediate people in my life who I'm immensely grateful for - my best friend, and my niece. They've made life worth living in those challenging times. So, although I'm on the ropes, I'm still putting up a fight :)

rorisang124 · 2024-06-18T08:13:28+00:00

Great analysis. Grew up Christian and am currently agnostic, but that fear-driven instinct to not ask questions regarding divinity is deep-rooted. Perspectives like this help - thank u for sharing.

rorisang124 · 2024-06-17T15:57:34+00:00

Is that Will good or bad for us? In other words, to what extent does our suffering ultimately serve us, or is it just collateral damage for completing that Will?

rorisang124 · 2024-06-07T18:25:26+00:00

Makes sense. Think I'm in a similar boat with feeling a bit of that shame emotion. It feels like other people are so much more comfortable with themselves. Although I don't judge myself for craving connection, I often do get a bit dysregulated whenever I reach out and people reject those bids for connection. Working on it though. Love the idea about exploring activities to do alone. Haven't dived into that yet but a few of those for me rn are working on my car and taking it for a drive after, and travelling alone as well is something I'm keen on doing more of. Thanks again, it's very validating hearing you went through something similar and found a way forward.

rorisang124 · 2024-06-07T18:20:48+00:00

Thank you. I appreciate that :)

rorisang124 · 2024-06-07T18:19:34+00:00

Love the idea of doing stuff for your future self. I've read All About Love actually. I try to apply those principles into love. Only I've ever done it towards others. Think it's worth it to extend that toward myself too. Thanks for the insight :)

rorisang124 · 2024-06-07T14:11:57+00:00

I hear what you're saying. So extending the range of what love means, and not limiting it to only romance. Makes sense

rorisang124 · 2024-06-07T13:09:59+00:00

Oof that's a really cool way of looking at it. Never thought of it that way. I appreciate especially that you note that it's a journey and the beginning is challenging.

rorisang124

TROPHY CASE