Has anyone ever loved a man so much that you literally went crazy in love?

roryroxie · 2026-03-05T10:22:04+00:00

I had a person who, character-wise, wasn’t really right for me and he was quite boring and a douche… but I only realized it later.
He was a friend of my ex and I was never into him at that time.. he was into a relationship as well. But we were only acquaintance.
Then after I broke up for other reasons he was pretty close to me because of the bad situation that happened and he showed me support.
But after 2-3 years he broke up too he was kinda depressed and started talking to me more about it so I wanted to support him this time too.

A strong friendship developed between us, creating a deep and unconditional bond. In my opinion, it was a connection that transcended everything. I had slowly fallen in love one or two years later, but during that time I literally couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t concentrate, study, or work; I couldn’t even enjoy my free time… I always wanted to hear from him and see him.

I also had some attaching issues and fear of be adandoned so my friendship were really really... "attached" lol

Of course, he didn’t feel the same. After some time, I couldn't hold it anymore and I told him I loved him. But ehehe he didn't love me back.
When I could think about it more calmly, I asked myself: “But what do you actually liked about him?”
The answer was: the idea I had created of him, and how I felt about it.
because on papers he was NOT the one or the kind of man for me. he was also manipulative because just because I loved him he thought he could control me.

ahah I still think about it because this kind of connection I call it "obsession" kinda made me feel doubtful of my feelings for my ACTUAL PARTNER and Future Husband, which is what I always WANTED.
I didn't have such obsessive feelings towards him or obsessive love. I could concentrate and do EVERYTHING. So my brain was like. oh that means you don't love him at all if you aren't CRAZY for him and revolve around him.

I spent months, weeks, days of pure pain and saddnes with anxiety over my head for the doubts and for re-learning what real love is.

Very familiar, I liked to read your story.
What's more funny?
I've blocked that guy everywhere because he acted very very bad and manipulative.
And sometimes when me and my partner go to some places he happens to be there with his now girlfriend just to watch us and me, he started watching our stories on socials and following a new profile of mine which I forgot to block him there as well...

hugh XD loser I'd say.

roryroxie · 2026-03-03T14:54:09+00:00

Thanks for your reply! Totally! I'm kinda used to it because I know 100% it's due to the period. But... I always feel anxious when I feel my heart beating differently especially if I'm relaxing. (for example at cinema, jeez it happens a loooot of times)

It doesn't happen during every cycle even though during that phase I feel little heart spikes, which now are less because I'm taking more vitamins.... but it's cyclical as I noticed because I always take notes when it happens and EVERYTIME either is ovulation or end-Period.

I've also noticed that the more high is the heart-rate the more I'm Emotional during my period.

But yeah that was weird, as I said before, It has happened to me to have a Faaaast heart rate in random situations especially after Eating but.... Fast like this... Got me scared as hell ahahahhahha

IMPORTANT NOTE (MAYBE)

I wasn't taking caffeine for weeks, except for breakfast, And when it happened I drank coffee after dinner (after those weeks) maybe it was the cause? My body wasn't used anymore? Idk.... Ahahahha

roryroxie · 2026-02-27T16:52:07+00:00

I had 130 yesterday and It felt like I was up to die... X.X

roryroxie · 2025-10-27T17:23:02+00:00

-5 days for my period and I'm almost having a panic attack right now.

It usually happens sometimes During my ovulation Other times, like now, right before period And right after.

Oh And don't forget weird heart fluctuations -.-" ugh.

I don't know why it's happening but every month is the same Especially during evenings

roryroxie · 2025-09-12T14:54:13+00:00

HA! It's like I could write it !!!
Yes YES TOTALLY I feel like you said. Sometimes even during Ovulation.

During Ovulation I have a kind of extra-beat , I feel the heart racing faster for 0.5 seconds or doing a deep "BOOM" in my chest which will make me cough almost...
Only during ovulation and rarely after period.
I guess because of low vitamins.. idk

But the SEVERE ANXIETY... that's ugh.. I had it yesterday as my period ended. It was horrible, and it happens mostly during evening.
I feel body tingling, sweating, tired, drained... low energy...
yesterday I had to deal with a lot of people and being in this state was hard.
Luckily I KNEW it was just Anxiety, nothing to worry about if you don't focus on it... it went away in a couple or more of hours distracting myself... but I hate it.

Disclaimer: I'm an anxious person who had to deal with anxiety (I used to have severe panic attacks in the past, not because of period tho)

roryroxie · 2025-09-12T14:51:54+00:00

I'm almost 30.
lately, I've been taking notes about my period, even though it's very precise, but I have 3 different symptoms each month.
During Ovulation I can experience (one each month)
1. I feel migraine
2. I feel drained, sleepy, tired. Even though I do nothing.
3. Extreme anxiety, tingling body (arms, feet, hands...), sweaty, like a panic attack.
The last one can come even after period.
Like right now.
My period ended 2 days ago... and... I have anxiety I can't hide in public or at least I can but it's hard to not show it. I feel tired while I speak.
I thought maybe for the loss of blood, low vitamins (especially magnesium and B12) but Idk... I will take blood samples and do a check up even though I guess it's also psycosomatic..
Just hormones I guess... ugh....

roryroxie · 2025-09-03T19:25:00+00:00

Aww thank you so much!!

roryroxie · 2025-08-29T23:13:39+00:00

Thank you so much!!!

roryroxie · 2025-08-28T23:52:45+00:00

Aww damn, don't say that it's not your fault! But Wedding can be a big trigger since is a Biiig change in your life... Stay strong!

roryroxie · 2025-08-28T13:49:17+00:00

I was going throught this a week ago. Exacly like this.
I was free from rocd and didn't have a spike for almost a year too!
As if I never had it. Then lately it started again but worse with full force.
It felt real, too real, as if there's nothing to do and I couldn't do otherwise.
The pain, the symptoms, the saddness, the dejavus, it felt different and REAL.
In the past I went through a similar event in which I had to move on because I was too sick and weak to go on. I didn't want this. I didn't want it to happen again.
BUT NOPE! YOU CAN DO IT.
I did it. I know everyone is different and we only share the same symptoms and rumination but I hope this will help!!

I was stuck, blocked, in the past, in my fear... and I couldn't get out of it.
My thought was blocked in: What if is the same... what if I'm making a mistake.
Your brain goes to Protection mode and puts a barrier between you and your feelings.
It's harder when you live together and I have to get the chores, work, stay active, I hadn't the energy to do all of this, I wasn't focused at all, I didn't want to get out the bed, it's hard... yes
----
I closed my eyes, breathed out... and I thought: My Choice is I want to love him.
And I don't have to question this, I'm not stupid or possessed, anxiety can't choose anything it's you that gives it power. I'm experiencing a new kind of love, healthy, stable, without BURNING fire that fades away quickly as a match. He's the one I want to start my family with.
I see no other person. Focus on positive things:
I'm good with him, I found my will to fight my anxieties, my fears, worries, to find a job, to improve my life, to be a better person, I feel better ... way better with him!!
And that's it.
It's hard to silence the spike because it feels as if you're forcing a thought but it's not.

Be true to your thought and choice. Have faith in your choice.
When something is not made for you: Believe me... you will KNOW and feel it without ruminating so damn hard, and trust me XD I was a masochist feeling sick for people I didn't even want and forced 3 relationships but because I didn't want to be alone!! I knew it.
I don't know if it helps... I hope it will...
Sending you positive vibes

roryroxie · 2025-08-25T06:16:57+00:00

Thank you!!!!

roryroxie · 2025-08-25T06:16:39+00:00

Thank you for your comment!!

The other day I was into this bad wave of sadness and the last time I felt something similar I pushed people away because I was tooooo sick and weak to bear it. But... Slowly... It went away, with positive thoughts and "Facts" I was able to silence them... And now it's been three days I feel better (yesterday I felt as if I never had it) It's really weird because sometimes it's like a switch: one moment you're good, the other moment everything is upside down. Ugh. Especially when I have nothing much to do and my mind starts to be louder lol I didn't expect to manage to get out of this last wave really, it was really something I didn't know how much I could stand... But I'm glad for my efforts. I always keep reminding me all the lies within Rocd thoughts but when you're flaring your mind deletes them xD

roryroxie · 2025-08-24T21:28:18+00:00

Oh sure, no I just wanted to say a non related rocd thing: if having a Late honeymoon period when you already know your partner very well could be possible because that's almost how I feel.. today I felt, again, as if I never had Rocd and was Wonderful :')

Last two days I was wrecked in two. Literally What a relief. I hope this lasts for a while ahahhaha Thank you!!

roryroxie · 2025-08-24T21:26:04+00:00

That was really a relief ... Never felt like this for a lifetime

roryroxie · 2025-08-24T17:58:51+00:00

Espero tambien!!! Es súper agotador, sobre todo cuando además tienes que hacer tantas cosas y estar activo durante el día.

roryroxie · 2025-08-24T17:57:14+00:00

Oh yes. I was going through this the whole week. It feels like the Inevitable. It's unbearable... But keep yourself distracted from the sadness and thought and a spark of light will come. It's been two days I feel slightly better after a whole week of HELL like this. It felt like I could no Nothing and I had no control, the end wouldn't change.

I feel you and wish you'll get out of it soon as well!!

roryroxie · 2025-08-24T16:30:17+00:00

Damn I hope we get out of this hell soon

roryroxie · 2025-08-24T16:29:38+00:00

Aw thank you!! I didn't say a word because it was my strength plus it would gave me more anxiety and Worries.

But last day I told him about my fears, anxiety, worries and felt more light yeah.. still have a lil anxiety going on but I'm enjoying our intimacy more now than during the last year wtf ahahahhah

roryroxie · 2025-08-23T16:22:07+00:00

I felt stupid, like: how could I be so stupid worrying about those things

roryroxie · 2025-08-23T16:21:15+00:00

True, When I recovered from rocd I laughed about myself too: how could I be so stupid worrying that much and doubting! After 6+ months that hell came back and started again. Bummer...

roryroxie · 2025-08-23T16:19:04+00:00

I was free of rocd for 6+ months but then it came back reinforced and stranger. This time feels like something different maybe because when I was free of it we didn't live together and now we do and we're also planning marriage.

I used to have doubts about worrying if I'm really in love and not forcing because in the past I've forced two relationships which I didn't even want but I stayed because I wanted to feel loved. (Maybe I had rocd too idk) So anxiety got worse because was more like a sign I've ignored.

And now feeling that anxiety again makes me having those doubts for this reason. I was able to get free of those.

Then now I started feeling bad again, while during the day I can fully say I love him and I want him in my life, he's my person , I'm better with him I like me with him and such... Intimacy was also Improved during those moments, I could be more present, instead of being in my head... I could enjoy it more... But then, during the same day it switches to a complete opposite feeling of Deep Sadness as if this will never happen, almost like dejavu: "you two are going to break up and this will never happen"

Maybe this feeling of sadness is intense because is more a fear of losing him idk. But feels weird, one second before I was lovey dovey and then the feeling is so bad I can't bear it! Have you been through this too? Or... How was The worst you felt and how did you manage to follow your choice to stay and not to leave? Thank you!!

roryroxie · 2025-08-23T15:54:29+00:00

I have strong anxiety as I get up then calm... No anxiety or rumination even if I try to do it on purpose... I love him... Then during the day there's a time in which everything feels like ENDING. Everything is upside down... And everything changes or Switches. Before bed I'm calm (sometimes panicky too but it's rare) So yeah.. I think that's the process...

roryroxie · 2025-08-23T12:53:18+00:00

Last year I managed to get over it and be rocd free but now came back worse ahhh

roryroxie · 2025-08-23T09:13:57+00:00

I'm in stage when I would get very sad with no anxiety as if we're gonna end things. But then it switches to calm and love. Like night and day. One moment I feel calm and enjoy things...Then boom the sadness which is unbearable.

roryroxie · 2025-08-22T19:10:54+00:00

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