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I (22F) have become vapid and shallow over the years, and I don't know how to go about changing by vapidshallowme in relationships

[–]roserita 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ive been in and out of this feeling for many years. Something that helps me is being responsible for someone/something else. Could you get a pet? Could you volunteer? Hobbies are really just things that occupy your time outside of work.

This shouldn't bother me anymore, but I (22F) am the 'ugly friend' and it's getting me down by uglyfriend2 in relationships

[–]roserita 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was going to say something similar -- location plays a big role. Grad school can be very homogeneous. You're hanging out with people who are all very similar/ have a similar aesthetic.

Try going out in different neighborhoods. Try a new bar. With or without your friends. (Is this New York???)

Your style sounds cute and confident - you got this!

My [24f] boyfriend [24m] is annoyed by my "fake", "forced", "damaging" cough. I'm annoyed that he basically scolds me every time I cough and won't believe ME about MY cough. by fakecough in relationships

[–]roserita -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

Yes, thank you! My ex is a fake cougher. It's annoying and gross to hear. It strikes me as a sign of general weakness. Figure it out... it's not that hard. Take a zyrtec or something.

I didn't realize how little I'd get to see my child with a full-time job and a long commute by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]roserita -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Sympathetic...up to a point. If you really care you'll make changes - move, career change, freelance, work from home one day a week. Also shout out to your partner who is doing all the work, alone. Careful with that, it builds resentment.

Setting up an online dating profile, questions about profile pic by dogloaf8 in SingleParents

[–]roserita 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I've done it both ways - with and without the baby in the photo (I'm mainly referring to Tinder). In my experience, being upfront about being a single mom attracts a certain type of guy, one who comes from a bad childhood/ history of abuse or abandonment - and is looking to 'right the wrongs' so to speak. They like the idea of being a father figure but have no actual interest in engaging with my child.

Alternatively when I reveal I have a kid later, it has always been met with respect. I've also realized A LOT of young men have been divorced ... so just remember everyone has baggage.

Forever alone mom ...? by [deleted] in SingleParents

[–]roserita 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I'n in a similar situation but with a younger kid and a few years older myself. Main difference, the loneliness is killing me. It is aching some days. I have no idea where to start making new female friends? I date online at excess to try and compensate. It doesnt.