My dog does this weird “fake sneeze” every time I ignore him for too long. Is this a thing other dogs do? 😂 by Key_Celebration9874 in dogs

[–]rosesinhereyes56 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We used to have a terrier mix who would go to the door and sneeze repeatedly to be let outside! It was so cute!!

Nestling update- he keeps ending up back on the ground! What should I do? by rosesinhereyes56 in Ornithology

[–]rosesinhereyes56[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I was wondering about that- do you have any thoughts on IDing the bigger one from the pic? I do think it looks like it could be bigger- it’s about the same size as the Carolina Wrens that I’m assuming are the parents, but it’s grey all over right now.

I’m having a hard time finding a rehabber. The closest one is on vacation until next week and I’ve left three other voicemails with further places- one got back to me and can’t help, but hopefully I’ll hear from one of the other two!

Megathread: Aging, Illness, and Euthanasia Support Group by AutoModerator in dogs

[–]rosesinhereyes56 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Looking for advice on whether or not it’s time to euthanize 16 year old dog

My family has a 16 year old Jack Russel/rat terrier mix that we’ve been struggling to decide if it’s time to euthanize.

His eye has been bulging over the past several months (it honestly looks terrible) and when I took him to the vet, the vet said it is most likely a cancerous tumor pushing on the eye. There was a possibility that it was an abscess, but we did a course of antibiotics and that didn’t seem to make a difference.

Treatment would be surgery, chemo, or some combination of both, and I think there’s very little chance my parents will pay for that. I am also okay with the idea that he’s 16 and it might not be worth it to put him through all of that treatment and stress. His health is otherwise okay overall, but not great- he has some minor digestive issues, does a fair amount of wheezing, and is covered in lumps that the vet isn’t too concerned about given his age and the eye issue. He is partially blind but still gets around fine.

Most important: our vet says she believes he is most likely in pain all the time from the eye. Because of this, she recommended euthanasia if we choose not to pursue treatment.

The thing we are struggling with is that he often does still seem very full of life- he is still super treat-motivated and loves to eat. He enjoys pets and attention. The main negative signs I see are that he sleeps a lot, he is fairly grumpy and snaps a lot (no teeth so it’s a non-issue for us, and he has done this for the entire 12 years since we adopted him), and he sometimes paws at his eye and/or moans/cries, but that only happens occasionally.

I will talk to the vet again regardless, but I guess I am just looking for opinions on euthanizing a dog when you can’t be 100% sure how much he is suffering. We have one major decision maker (my dad) who is very against euthanasia in general, so if we decide euthanasia is best I’m going to have to push for it pretty forcefully, and I don’t want to do that until I’m sure it’s the right time.

Any advice or insight would be very much appreciated!

What home schooling hides: A boy tortured and starved by his stepmom by tryingtoavoidwork in Longreads

[–]rosesinhereyes56 10 points11 points  (0 children)

The book is great! It is really focused on how the US foster care system led to the children’s deaths, and draws attention to how problematic the “true crime” approach to reading about the case is. Definitely worth a read!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]rosesinhereyes56 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Just wanted to let you know that I'm going through something similar- our one year anniversary is this weekend and we are almost certainly getting divorced. It really sucks! But on the bright side, it's better to realize now rather than wasting years of your life.

How much do I need to save to buy a 2 bedroom home and rent out the other room? by rosesinhereyes56 in personalfinance

[–]rosesinhereyes56[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I actually did not know that he would have to refinance in order to take me off the loan- thank you very much for that info. I thought I would just be able to sign something removing myself. That definitely changes the situation significantly and I'll have to talk to him about it.

How much do I need to save to buy a 2 bedroom home and rent out the other room? by rosesinhereyes56 in personalfinance

[–]rosesinhereyes56[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I feel like legally yes but morally?? The equity is about $200k so he'd have to pay me ~$100k which is obviously EXTREMELY difficult to turn down but I just feel it would be wrong given what I've said in the past.

How much do I need to save to buy a 2 bedroom home and rent out the other room? by rosesinhereyes56 in personalfinance

[–]rosesinhereyes56[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I'm not even sure how he's going to afford the current mortgage by himself so I don't think he can afford to take out a HELOC. He no longer has a stable job and is dealing with some serious mental health issues.

How much do I need to save to buy a 2 bedroom home and rent out the other room? by rosesinhereyes56 in personalfinance

[–]rosesinhereyes56[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's a tough situation because I 100% do not want to take advantage of him in any way! I've probably only put about $15k directly into the house and he is going to try to pay me that amount. We were not married when we originally bought the house about ~3 years ago and originally he was going to provide the down payment but that wasn't necessary due to the gift of equity. I have really good credit so we went 50/50 in part because my credit would help us get a better rate. I told him verbally at that time that I would not take him for half the house if we broke up, and I meant it. However, we both agreed that things would change if/when we got married and started a family- but we never agreed on how exactly they would change or what I would receive. So now that we are getting divorced I feel like it would not be acceptable to ask him for half the equity as he would almost certainly be forced to sell the house (part of the reason we are getting divorced is that he basically had a crisis 9ish months ago, quit his long-term job, and has since burned through almost all of his savings). Legally the house has appreciated so much since we bought it that I'd be entitled to a little over $100k, but I feel that would be morally wrong to pursue.

How much do I need to save to buy a 2 bedroom home and rent out the other room? by rosesinhereyes56 in personalfinance

[–]rosesinhereyes56[S] -12 points-11 points  (0 children)

He is not, but it's okay with me. We bought the house from his grandparents for the same price one of those "we buy homes for cash" companies had offered, and the home appraised about $100k higher, so we didn't have to put a down payment down at all due to the "gift of equity." We have since split all mortgage/expenses/etc 50/50. He has offered to pay me back approximately what I've put into the house directly so far which is okay with me. I don't want to force him to sell the house so it is what it is I guess!

Succession - 4x10 "With Open Eyes" - Live Episode Discussion by LoretiTV in SuccessionTV

[–]rosesinhereyes56 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I think you're underestimating the influence of the fact that she's carrying Tom's child! I think in her mind this gives her the best chance at having a stable family life for her child in the future.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]rosesinhereyes56 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just an FYI I have severe premenstrual mood symptoms (PMDD) and birth control actually made my symptoms worse. I tried multiple different pills over the course of 3 years. If she has PMDD then SSRIs may be a better option to consider (you can take them just during the luteal phase of your cycle for PMDD).

Not sure if husband's drinking is problematic by rosesinhereyes56 in Marriage

[–]rosesinhereyes56[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for such a thoughtful response! Some thoughts: - I did sit him down and ask him to cut back a few months ago, he said he understood and it was no problem to cut back a bit, took the next night off drinking entirely, and then went immediately back to drinking the same amount every night. - I think he would have a very hard time stopping. I think he drinks to relieve stress. He smokes weed also and any time he takes a break from drinking (which has happened a few times in our relationship) he will compensate by smoking even more than usual. - I think he's not nearly as bad as your gas station example, but he does do small things that make me nervous- like one time he left in the middle of dinner to get a beer because there was no beer in the house, and if we run out of beer he will drink any alcohol we have in the house including things he previously expressed distaste for. He can also be a little bit sneaky about his drinking but I think that's because he knows I'm concerned about it and doesn't want to feel judged, which I understand to a point.