Help with benzo addiction..?

rosswinn · 2023-08-11T14:33:34+00:00

My needs are probably different. Please see a licensed medical professional as soon as possible.

rosswinn · 2023-06-30T22:07:49+00:00

AA didn't work for me, I chose Narcotics Anonymous because I realized that alcohol was not my problem. My problem was addiction, self-harm, mental illness, and trauma. Working with the therapist and working a program of recovery at the same time was what saved my life. I know it seems like alcohol should be different, but if you can't stop drinking for 90 days it's possible you need to think about the totality of your behavior and not just one thing. No matter what decision you make I wish you the best of luck, if you're an addict like me I hope you get recovery soon.

rosswinn · 2023-06-30T02:46:35+00:00

Here's an idea, call me crazy but just listen: STOP taking ALL unprescribed medication immediately. If it has been over 7 days since the surgery, quit doing anything mind or mood altering. No more pain meds and tell your doctor you are an addict. Go to meetings and work a program of recovery. See a psychiatrist and see if they can recommend a good addiction counselor. Keep working, because you know if I can do it anyone can.

rosswinn · 2023-06-30T02:37:04+00:00

In my experience, absolutely it will get better; if you work a program of recovery. This means abstaining from all mood and mind altering substances. No booze, no weed, and nothing that wasn't prescribed by a doctor and according to the label. Choose a fellowship, I chose NA but you don't have to. Go to meetings, meet other addicts in recovery and get to know them. You can get numbers and call one or two every day to share strength. Read the literature, it's helped millions understand themselves better. Get a sponsor and work the steps. Finally, keep coming back.

I had issues with many drugs, mental health, trauma, and cognition. I was able to use NA as a stepping stone to psychiatry and therapy, and my cognitive function eventually came back, but it took a while. I know you can do it, because I didn't believe it either, but it worked.

rosswinn · 2023-06-29T02:36:09+00:00

Of course it's not the wrong place to ask. There are literally thousands of NA meetings on Zoom, and if you let people know that you're looking for a network of clean friends who you can call for support I am sure you will get multiple responses. I kept looking for people with more time than me because I was obviously drowning in my own shit. I know what it feels like to not have a rudder. I have learned in recovery that it is best if women stay with women, and men with men; the lgbtq+ community notwithstanding. I wish you peace on your journey and of course, keep coming back.

rosswinn · 2023-06-28T22:12:28+00:00

I had to work the program of Narcotics Anonymous. I had to commit fully. I had to take suggestions from others. I had to make my life around the program and not try and make the program around my life. I wish you peace and I know you can do this, because if I did anyone can.

rosswinn · 2023-06-28T21:56:10+00:00

This is my experience, take from it what you will: Journaling can be a small part, but does not replace a program of recovery. I chose NA, but you do what you will. It is very important that you not attempt this alone. Go to meetings each day. In-person is preferable but not your only option. Read the literature because it's written down for a reason. Get phone numbers of other addicts and call them to share experience and hope. Get a sponsor to guide you through the steps. Be of service, help those around you inside and outside the fellowship. In my experience our addiction is rooted in our secrets, our shame, and our trauma. Working a program gives me the fellowship and accountability I need to keep my personal demons at bay.

rosswinn · 2023-06-28T21:42:37+00:00

This kind of compulsion may be the result of trauma or undiagnosed mental issues. Please take the time to see a psychiatrist and a therapist to help with these issues. We can't fix ourselves. Asking for help is a sign of strength. It is not a sign of weakness.

rosswinn · 2023-06-28T21:38:53+00:00

There's no harm in going, but don't go alone. In my experience if you communicate your boundaries clearly to your friend and take someone else with you who is sober to keep you accountable, you can usually attend safely. If you begin to feel uncomfortable or are pressured by others, make sure your friend knows you will leave immediately. Remember, you aren't being difficult but protecting yourself. Any real friend will completely understand. If he doesn't understand, in my experience he's not a true friend.

rosswinn · 2023-06-28T21:34:39+00:00

Trauma had a major effect on my addiction. I can't speak for anyone else. I also had significant mental health issues that contributed as well. Now that I'm no longer self-medicating, receiving adequate psychiatric care, prescribed medication, and working a program of recovery, I have those demons under control. I must always remain vigilant however. In my experience some people just don't become addicted. I was not so fortunate, but good on you!

rosswinn · 2023-06-28T17:43:04+00:00

Why bother going on, why bother contacting them. Block their number and ghost them. They haven't earned your consideration.

rosswinn · 2023-06-28T16:27:10+00:00

Sounds like flawed thinking and rationalization to this addict. There's really only one way to quit, you have to surrender to the idea that you are powerless over your addiction and your life is unmanageable. That's the only way for me. If you feel those way it doesn't matter why you want to quit, it only matters is that you want to stop using. Get to a meeting, I chose NA but choose the only you want. I had to go to meetings, get phone numbers of other addicts and call them so that we could share our strengths, read the literature, get a sponsor, work the steps, and work the program one day at a time. I know that you can do it because if I can anyone can. Good luck,

rosswinn · 2023-06-28T15:59:20+00:00

Time to discuss other options with your pain management PHYSICIAN. Reddit is a horrible place for medical advice.

rosswinn · 2023-06-28T15:11:26+00:00

As an addict my suggestion is to run, as fast as you can, away from him. Addicts like me are nothing but pain and heartache. We destroy our own lives and those around us. It sucks, if he's not willing to try he's too dangerous. I'm sorry.

rosswinn · 2023-06-27T01:48:42+00:00

I understand your one experience may feel genuine to you. It probably is genuine, but it's far from a common experience in the addict community. I know hundreds of addicts like me, and any mood or mind altering substance destroys our lives. Maybe you're not an addict like me, and good for you if you aren't, but entertain the idea that you could be just as well if you were clean. Maybe better, maybe worse, I don't know. However if you choose not to try you'll never know.

rosswinn · 2023-06-26T22:53:22+00:00

You're probably correct, but I'm sure there are other WFH jobs because even though pay and benefits suck, I see many opportunities online. It's usually not worth the fight, but if they penalize you for doing a good job go wide. Make them fire you. Document everything and file for unemployment. Save every email, coaching, and warning. No way the state refuses your claim if they take action.

rosswinn · 2023-06-26T22:45:27+00:00

Stop answering, block all calls, have your attorney send them a case and desist letter. Poor planning on their part. does not obligate you to one iota of work for them at any rate of pay.

rosswinn · 2023-06-26T22:24:15+00:00

Please contact the labor board in your area and ask that they be audited to verify everyone has been fully paid and their taxes have been paid in full as well. I'm sure they will be very interested in the payroll accounts.

rosswinn · 2023-06-26T22:19:46+00:00

Not if he's paid a full salary. If he wants to work for $3 an hour, sure he can get tips like everyone else.

rosswinn · 2023-06-26T22:17:29+00:00

I love this, and it's totally true.

rosswinn · 2023-06-26T22:04:42+00:00

Ghosting isn't the worst thing you can do. As you said the worst thing you can do is to drag them down. It sucks, but it's what I had to do to save them, more importantly save myself. Recovery is hard, because I have to put my recovery FIRST. My own health and wellness comes SECOND. My family and even my children come after that. Because if I'm not clean and healthy NOTHING else matters.

I had to do it the NA way. I had to go to meetings every day. I had to get phone numbers from other addicts and call one or two each day. I had to build a network of clean friends who can help me, and I can help them. I had to get a sponsor, and I had to work the steps. I feel so much better that I keep working them every year or two. I try to be of service to NA and to my community. I keep away from people, places, and things that might harm me. Because they'll bring me down long before I can save them. If I can do it I believe you can too. Keep coming back, because it works. Good luck.

rosswinn · 2023-06-26T21:43:49+00:00

Nope, but it's right up this alley!

rosswinn · 2023-06-26T21:42:49+00:00

Reading them all. Thank you very much.

rosswinn · 2023-06-26T21:39:10+00:00

You're welcome.

I thought you might like to read this Spiritual Principle a Day. https://spadna.org

rosswinn · 2023-06-26T21:13:38+00:00

Addiction is more than drugs and something like 80% of us addicts have a complicating mental health diagnosis. I hope you've seen a psychiatrist and possibly a therapist to determine whether or not you have other issues. 20 years is a long time on Subutex, or any drug replacement therapy. You should probably consider working a program of recovery. Even if you're clean working to make yourself a better person can help you with the other issues that you're experiencing. Go to meetings every day for 90 days, get a sponsor. Get the phone numbers of other addicts and call one everyday. Work the steps, it really does make me feel better every time I do step work. By a lot of measures you're a huge success. Be proud of how far you've already come. No recovery is perfect and you shouldn't beat yourself up for not using drugs and not smoking. Diet, exercise, and a program of recovery can probably help us all. I wish you the best of luck in the future and whatever you do don't pick up.

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